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Old 01-04-2017, 11:40 AM
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA
1,195 posts, read 2,246,623 times
Reputation: 1846


Originally Posted by jimrich View Post
to whom it may concern:
I make no apologies for expressing my opinions of the OP's parenting and/or the family. My opinions are as VALID as anybody else's opinions and I stand behind what I wrote about the OP's parenting (which I unfortunately deleted), PRIOR TO learning about the death of the OP's son, and I continue to believe in what I wrote regardless of eventual circumstances which does not alter what happened in that family's past.
Many of you have posted your ANGRY and ABUSIVE opinions about my opinions but - SO WHAT? - these are JUST OUR OPINIONS and you can take them any way you wish. Deal with it!
I feel no need to defend or explain my opinions which can change at any time!
And again, I feel very sorry for the OP's loss.

i don't think i ever even saw your comments and it wouldn't matter one way or another.
opinions are almost exclusively based upon the owner's own stuff - not the truth of the person being give the opinion.
you could paint me the worst parent ever and it'd have no effect on me.
i was flawed. for sure. as i am human.
but, i was a phenomenal parent.
my son felt loved, seen, accepted, challenged, and he knew i forever wanted his highest good and that my actions were all towards that end.
there's no one's opinion of me that matters outside of his and mine.
i am self aware, incredibly honest and reflective, and willing to call out my own shyt.
i did the very best a parent, though flawed, can do by her child.
kicking him out was one of the best things i did for him - according to me and according to him.

i guarantee you that grief groups are FILLED with parents who span the entire human range of parenting styles... some introduced their kids to drugs and used with them all the way to the end and others were anyone's model parent - with every degree of difference in between and ALL OF US had to face our child's death to substance use.

i don't need anyone's sympathy and i think you're right about not taking your opinion back... it sounds to me, from other people's quotes of you, that you're a damaged person who had a lot of damage done to you and you've stayed a victim and view others as victimisers through the lens of a victim. that's on you to sort out.

i've got my only life to live.

#SammuelKingsley's mum
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Old 01-05-2017, 10:53 AM
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,503 posts, read 47,819,399 times
Reputation: 47613
No parent is perfect just as no child is perfect. Most of us parents go into it thinking we will be good parents and we do the best we can with what we've got.
OP you are confident you loved, cherished and protected your son the very best you could and he knew it. That is the best we can hope for. If he made poor choices, it was not your fault and don't let any jerk on CD try to guilt you into thinking it is.

I offer sincere condolences for your loss. He will always be alive in your heart and in his son.
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Old 01-05-2017, 10:53 AM
170 posts, read 152,483 times
Reputation: 208
You are an amazing mom and have done great at the hardest part of parenting - letting go. i know so many moms who cannot let go and it handicaps their adult children. Great job!
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Old 04-18-2017, 07:38 PM
2 posts, read 749 times
Reputation: 10
Shes knows mommy playing her if doesnt help her shes called every name.so i figured divorce will do it.we have a small home which they all are cooped up in my livingroom
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Old Today, 01:34 AM
Location: Ashland, Oregon
468 posts, read 240,245 times
Reputation: 1143
After having read this entire thread I am left feeling very sorry for the OP who lost her precious son. Life can be very cruel and unfair.

My brother had two boys. The older boy was stellar in school, sports and friendships. He had a pretty good job after college. His younger brother trod a different path, however, and was not successful at anything he tried. His great personality won him many friends (as did his older brother's) and was living on his own after telling parents about his new job. Turns out there was no job and we have our suspicions as to how he was paying his rent.

After not hearing from him for a few days, my brother and his wife drove to his apartment and found him dead, probably from an overdose. He was 20.

Two years later, his older, stellar brother died the same way. He was at his apartment with friends who noticed his breathing was strange. They tried to wake him up to no avail.

My brother and his wife were excellent parents. Now they aren't even parents anymore and have divorced.

You can do everything and still have heartbreak. Nobody should blame themselves.
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