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So, what led to the demise of the way kids relate to their families? The disrespect I've seen from teens & adult kids to their parents is astounding.
The way that the teens are so self absorbed, spoiled--demanding cell phones, I pods, laptops, "Uggs" & other name brand crap, could be a part of the problem.
And if the parents think the kids will grow up & magically turn into loving, kind people-wrong
Just yesterday I overheard my neighbor yelling, swearing & screaming at his mom to move his stuff, & help him to her car. He's 36 years old
Having been a child myself once, I feel qualified to give my opinion. I know it won't be a popular one, in this day and age of being "politically correct" and all that... but....
The problem is that not enough little butts were smacked when they needed to be. Children must be TAUGHT how to behave. When I am online I read these god-awful posts about how children are "wise beyond their years" and that you need to "let children decide how to behave" etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.
When I was growing up, you knew that you had better behave yourself or you would get a good spanking. Not a beating, but a physical reinforcement of the rules of the house. It did not raise welts, or bruises, but instead GOT MY ATTENTION and taught me the limits and boundaries of what was proper behavior and what wasn't.
Today it seems that spanking has fallen out of favor and I think the bad behavior that you describe is a result of that trend.
All I can say is the response I provided already and is above. I also read the book "The Way We Never Were". It does describe a lot of the things you mention. I am aware of that how we tend to romantecize (sorry for the wrong spelling) the past.
But, are you telling me that you would approach a kid today with no problem if you saw him missbehave on the street? Do you feel confident he will be more respectfull to you today than in let us say the 50s? What are the odds he will tell you to do some self copulation?
What are the odds that kids in the 50s would tell a teacher the same?
It is good to do scientific research to get an idea of how things compare in generation. The problem I often see is that today's research tend to be done with the lense of present day attitudes and the way our culture is. As much as they may try to be objective, it is difficut. I am trapped on that and I am aware of that. That is why I simply ask you the examples I asked above. What are the odds of the responses I mentioned?
If you think it is OK for a student to tell a teacher "Fornicate you!" with no consequences it probable that you will see kids no worse than in the past, just a guess because when I was in school, no way we would show such disrespect to our teachers. The same on the streets when I observe parents talking to their kids and how the kids respond back. You can fall into a tunnel vision and simply accept studies that can be just as influenced by present day views. Take care.
Not being too far removed from the teens of today in terms of age, I try to understand where they are coming from. I deal with some teens on a regular basis that hang out in the woods behind my house and use my yard as a cut through. Most of the neighbors come at the kids with a hostile attitude, "get off my lawn you damn kids", "keep that up and I'm calling the cops", etc. I took a different tact and was nice to them. Sometimes, you need to give respect to get respect. This approach has paid dividends and we no longer have a problem.
I would be more hesitant to just approach a random group of kids, but if they are impacting me with what they are doing, then I have no problem, but then again I don't go out looking for blood either.
As far as the kid telling a teacher to go eff themselves, well that is not something that I see as being anywhere near acceptable in schools. No, they don't take the kid out and paddle them for it, but it certainly isn't tolerated without dire consequence. I think most parents expect their kids to behave and live up to certain standards. For instance, the example the teacher gave was one kid out of how many she taught? Let's say she had 100 kids, are we to really use the 1% to judge the other 99%?
Having been a child myself once, I feel qualified to give my opinion. I know it won't be a popular one, in this day and age of being "politically correct" and all that... but....
The problem is that not enough little butts were smacked when they needed to be. Children must be TAUGHT how to behave. When I am online I read these god-awful posts about how children are "wise beyond their years" and that you need to "let children decide how to behave" etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.
When I was growing up, you knew that you had better behave yourself or you would get a good spanking. Not a beating, but a physical reinforcement of the rules of the house. It did not raise welts, or bruises, but instead GOT MY ATTENTION and taught me the limits and boundaries of what was proper behavior and what wasn't.
Today it seems that spanking has fallen out of favor and I think the bad behavior that you describe is a result of that trend.
20yrsinBranson
The problem I have with "behave yourself" or get a smack is that the desired behavior is rarely explained or defined. The limitations or rules are sometimes unknown.
I would much rather teach my child that there are rules or limitations that she needs to respect rather than just saying "behave yourself."
Having been a child myself once, I feel qualified to give my opinion. I know it won't be a popular one, in this day and age of being "politically correct" and all that... but....
The problem is that not enough little butts were smacked when they needed to be. Children must be TAUGHT how to behave. When I am online I read these god-awful posts about how children are "wise beyond their years" and that you need to "let children decide how to behave" etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.
When I was growing up, you knew that you had better behave yourself or you would get a good spanking. Not a beating, but a physical reinforcement of the rules of the house. It did not raise welts, or bruises, but instead GOT MY ATTENTION and taught me the limits and boundaries of what was proper behavior and what wasn't.
Today it seems that spanking has fallen out of favor and I think the bad behavior that you describe is a result of that trend.
20yrsinBranson
I agree 100%. And this is from someone who never spanked. I think there's a lot of parents that think it's cute when their kids get out of line. They're creating problems for themselves & their kids, by not disciplining. Parents got a lot more respect when I was growing up, These days it's not uncommon to head these "kids" calling their parents bit*hes, etc. when they step out of line. It's ridiculous...
Having been a child myself once, I feel qualified to give my opinion. I know it won't be a popular one, in this day and age of being "politically correct" and all that... but....
The problem is that not enough little butts were smacked when they needed to be. Children must be TAUGHT how to behave. When I am online I read these god-awful posts about how children are "wise beyond their years" and that you need to "let children decide how to behave" etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.
When I was growing up, you knew that you had better behave yourself or you would get a good spanking. Not a beating, but a physical reinforcement of the rules of the house. It did not raise welts, or bruises, but instead GOT MY ATTENTION and taught me the limits and boundaries of what was proper behavior and what wasn't.
Today it seems that spanking has fallen out of favor and I think the bad behavior that you describe is a result of that trend.
20yrsinBranson
In order for your argument to hold water, we would need some statistics on the use of spanking as a primary method of discipline and then place that against other statistics such as crime rates, teen pregnancies, etc. These statistics aren't exactly easy to come by. One set we do have would be use of corporal punishment in schools, which is still legal in 19 states. Of those Mississippi has the highest rate of corporal punishment in schools. It also has a higher than national average rate for juvenile crime, teen pregnancy, etc.
I won't argue whether or not spanking has a place, there are plenty of threads on that already, but I would argue its place in having an actual effect on the things you believe it does.
we know who did this to our kids. go to the bathroom and turn on the the light, look above the sink, she did it she is the one and u helped.
dr spock lied--- another false prophet of the 60's.
Not being too far removed from the teens of today in terms of age, I try to understand where they are coming from. I deal with some teens on a regular basis that hang out in the woods behind my house and use my yard as a cut through. Most of the neighbors come at the kids with a hostile attitude, "get off my lawn you damn kids", "keep that up and I'm calling the cops", etc. I took a different tact and was nice to them. Sometimes, you need to give respect to get respect. This approach has paid dividends and we no longer have a problem.
I would be more hesitant to just approach a random group of kids, but if they are impacting me with what they are doing, then I have no problem, but then again I don't go out looking for blood either.
As far as the kid telling a teacher to go eff themselves, well that is not something that I see as being anywhere near acceptable in schools. No, they don't take the kid out and paddle them for it, but it certainly isn't tolerated without dire consequence. I think most parents expect their kids to behave and live up to certain standards. For instance, the example the teacher gave was one kid out of how many she taught? Let's say she had 100 kids, are we to really use the 1% to judge the other 99%?
It is not a matter of judging the other 99% because of the 1%. You cited percentages, is that the case or you just got those numbers out of nowhere to make your point?
As far as the tactics you mention you have used, I have and I agree with you because it has worked with me also.
I simply state that in the general scheme of things when I compare going to school in my teen years and today it is not the same. Most probably you and many others will not agree but just as you and others do, I simply present my observations based when I lived in the 50s and now what my kids happen today. Also, on what I have seen when I do volunteer work in the schools. It is not statistical I will admit, just what I see around and what I saw around before. Take care.
I agree 100%. And this is from someone who never spanked. I think there's a lot of parents that think it's cute when their kids get out of line. They're creating problems for themselves & their kids, by not disciplining. Parents got a lot more respect when I was growing up, These days it's not uncommon to head these "kids" calling their parents bit*hes, etc. when they step out of line. It's ridiculous...
The only difference is perception.
Kid A thinks his teacher is a *****, but won't say it because they don't want to get hit.
Kid B thinks his teacher is a *****, but is willing to say it because they are not afraid of the consequence.
Let's think about that for a minute. We are getting what we want, kid not calling the teacher a *****, by enforcing a harsh punishment, but are we addressing the root of the issue which is that the kid thinks the teacher is a *****?
I'd rather have the word said so we can address the underlying reason for the kid to think that way, then simply be happy that no one is being called a ***** while the same attitude towards the teacher remains.
I'm going to go ahead and say its due to lack of consequences. Parents can't discipline them anymore without the threat of some government agency taking the kids. Teachers can't discipline them either, and the kids are acting up due to lack of discipline at home. And other kids can't even put them in place either, even if its throwing a few punches around without worrying about getting charges placed.
In addition the lack of respect is also due to technology, and I'll say Jackass the show/movie didn't help, and neither did a lot of the pop culture, whether it be hip hop all about guns hoes and money or the screamo genre which is full of sad kids being outcasts.
Kid A thinks his teacher is a *****, but won't say it because they don't want to get hit.
Kid B thinks his teacher is a *****, but is willing to say it because they are not afraid of the consequence.
Let's think about that for a minute. We are getting what we want, kid not calling the teacher a *****, by enforcing a harsh punishment, but are we addressing the root of the issue which is that the kid thinks the teacher is a *****?
I'd rather have the word said so we can address the underlying reason for the kid to think that way, then simply be happy that no one is being called a ***** while the same attitude towards the teacher remains.
Exactly. My brother's friend thought getting paddled was so worth being able to call teachers names.
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