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The problem with that is she hasn't done anything worthy of being patted on the back. I'm not going to pat her on the back for being a SAHM. To do that I'd have to agree with her that WM's are hurting their kids and lack maternal instinct. THAT is not happening. I'd rather never speak to her again and that sounds like the real solution here. I don't think anyone would mind if we stopped inviting her to family functions. I, for one, am tired of her self edifying crap and that's all it is because at the end of the day, our kids turn out the same and that's all that really matters.
You two need to agree to disagree on this one and just not ever bring up the subject again! Be the adult for goodness sake!
The problem with that is she hasn't done anything worthy of being patted on the back. I'm not going to pat her on the back for being a SAHM. To do that I'd have to agree with her that WM's are hurting their kids and lack maternal instinct. THAT is not happening. I'd rather never speak to her again and that sounds like the real solution here. I don't think anyone would mind if we stopped inviting her to family functions. I, for one, am tired of her self edifying crap and that's all it is because at the end of the day, our kids turn out the same and that's all that really matters.
I imagine your son (step-son?) will have an opinion on the matter, and perhaps your grandchildren.
If you would cut her out of your life for something like this, then you are just looking for a reason to do so.
Fantastic idea!
Exactly what I think is going on.
Ya, it really shouldn't be that hard. If it is too hard to say it, then just ignore it. It doesn't have to be a big deal.
Another day, another failure to acknowledge my posts. Ivory must have me on the ignore list.
Tell me why I need someone in my life who puts down my lifestyle? I don't. The people I need in my life are the ones who make it better. She doesn't. Every time I see her, it's stressful and I leave mad. Not because she has stupid ideas about motherhood but because I know she's teaching this crap to her kids. All because she's arrogant and wants her ego stroked.
I hoped someone could explain this but I haven't seen any answers here. I'm pretty sure it's what I think it is. Self edification, justification, and arrogance. If she weren't family, I would have told her to get over herself long ago and never thought of her again.
I imagine your son (step-son?) will have an opinion on the matter, and perhaps your grandchildren.
Dss doesn't care. He just wants peace at home. He's already cut himself off from family to attain that. I'm also starting to think he agrees with her. They've cut contact with everyone in the family except us and I've about had enough.
I really would like to know how someone gets this full of themselves.
s. All because she's arrogant and wants her ego stroked.
I hoped someone could explain this but I haven't seen any answers here. I'm pretty sure it's what I think it is. Self edification, justification, and arrogance. If she weren't family, I would have told her she was full of chit long ago and never thought of her again. As I'm typing this I'm struck by how little she means to my life. Sure we grew up together but I've outgrown friends I grew up with. Maybe it's time to walk away.
Or just, perhaps, self-preservation after being dealt a MIL with the same need for justification of her own choices. Trust me, we shouldn't attempt to make our DIL's bend to us. We need to find a common ground with them.
You two need to agree to disagree on this one and just not ever bring up the subject again! Be the adult for goodness sake!
I'm not the one who brings it up. Seriously, this person really needs to get over herself already. She's not that great. She thinks she is but she's not.
The problem with that is she hasn't done anything worthy of being patted on the back. I'm not going to pat her on the back for being a SAHM. To do that I'd have to agree with her that WM's are hurting their kids and lack maternal instinct.
She says that to you? She has used those words, said something like, "Working moms lack maternal instinct"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
THAT is not happening. I'd rather never speak to her again and that sounds like the real solution here. I don't think anyone would mind if we stopped inviting her to family functions. I, for one, am tired of her self edifying crap and that's all it is because at the end of the day, our kids turn out the same and that's all that really matters.
I can understand disliking someone who claims to be a better mom than you are. Perhaps instead of agreeing with her, you could say something like, "It's so great that you are able to stay home with them. It must be tough with five kids." She's the one with all the children, right? And her husband travels so much? No wonder she doesn't work--how could she? She's probably just ticked that she doesn't have options. Or maybe she envies you, or maybe she feels put down if you talk about your engineering job all the time or say things like what a cushy vacation it is to be a stay-at-home mom. She has five kids ... you have two who are several years apart. Worlds different. Her life is not a vacation.
You have said many times how much you dislike her, and you don't seem fond of your stepson for that matter ... or their children. However, cutting them out of your life is not your sole decision, particularly because this is your husband's son and family. Your daughter-in-law does sound cold and snide, so I think it would be easy to be the gracious one in this scenario. If your family and hers breaks up over this, you can make sure it's not your fault without being a martyr about it. If someone is being toxic, everyone else can see it plainly. Just don't stoop to her level.
This is a fantastic article that I happened to run across today. I think it fits here very well. Glennon Melton: Friendly Fire
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I don't. The people I need in my life are the ones who make it better. She doesn't. Every time I see her, it's stressful and I leave mad. Not because she has stupid ideas about motherhood but because I know she's teaching this crap to her kids. All because she's arrogant and wants her ego stroked. 