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Moving and changing schools is hard on kids, even when they're that young. It's not fun to be the new kid and most schools aren't doing exactly the same work as the old one, so she'll either be behind and trying to catch up or ahead and bored.
About waking up and homework and all of that, that's a pretty normal kid thing. They will drag their butts when you let them. The solution is to make sure she goes to bed at the same time every night and gets enough sleep. Then wake her up in the morning and stay in the room until she's out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Have her pick out an outfit, complete with socks, shoes and jacket, the night before so there are no tough fashion decisions to make in the morning.
Breakfast can be something quick, a frozen waffle or a yogurt is all the breakfast my kids want most of the time. The waffle only takes a minute to toast and then it can be eaten in the car.
About homework, at that age it's not just going to happen on it's own. You need to sit her down and give her a time limit for it when she gets home. My rule is that my older daughter has one hour to do her homework when she gets home. (She never has homework that takes longer, she used to spend several hours on homework every day but it was really mostly spent complaining and snacking.) If she's done in an hour, she can watch tv until dinnertime, or play with friends. If she's not done in an hour, no tv for the day. My younger daughter has a homework packet that's due on Fridays. She has to do two pages a day, but if she gets it all done early, she can spend the "homework hour" playing games on the computer.
It sounds like your mornings are hectic and will be even more rushed when you start work. Can you pack her lunch the night before and just keep it in the fridge, or check into how much school lunch would be? The less you have to do in the mornings before getting her out the door, the better you will feel, even if you have to spend a little while keeping her on track.
Will she be going to after-school daycare once you start your job? They'll usually have the kids do their homework while they're there, which should make things a little easier.
Part of the solution to a lot of your problems might just BE visits with Grandma. And lots of them. Your daughter's life has been turned upside down and you dangle a visit with Grandma above her as some kind of reward if she does the trick correctly? She's a little girl. Not a dog in a youtube video.
Unless Grandma has problems and is not a good influence I'd have LOTS of visits with grandma. Grandmas fill a roll no parent can. Starting in the "hug" department which is actually important. I cannot see denying a child that friendship, companionship and love.
Excellent advice.
I would add . . . are you sure your daughter is not suffering from depression? This move and all the changes could certainly set things up for childhood depression. Just a thought and something you might discuss with her doc in the future.
I would add . . . are you sure your daughter is not suffering from depression? This move and all the changes could certainly set things up for childhood depression. Just a thought and something you might discuss with her doc in the future.
anifani821 could be right....she could be be depressed from all the changes in her life...that's why she needs her Grandma....I totally disagree with discussing this with a doctor though...what for?...we all get occasionally depressed, and it's almost a gaurantee that if you tell a doc, their answer will be some kind of synthetic mind altering pill.
anifani821 could be right....she could be be depressed from all the changes in her life...that's why she needs her Grandma....I totally disagree with discussing this with a doctor though...what for?...we all get occasionally depressed, and it's almost a gaurantee that if you tell a doc, their answer will be some kind of synthetic mind altering pill.
Antidepressants are not a first line treatment for pediatric depression.
I agree about not making grandma a reward or punishment -- and definitely agree she cannot be allowed to yell at her father.
She's acting out -- something is bothering her, she may feel disloyal to her mother by moving with her father. And she might to too young to even know what is bothering her.
iam a tunisian man who was married to an american woman
coming from new jersy ,who is now forbidding to even talk
to my own kids on the phone ; i can t visit them ; because
i have a visa innelligibility ;any help or advice would be very
apreciated ;
I recently moved for a better career direction. I have full custody of my daughter, but her mother has visitation rights. Where I used to live, her mom was about an hour away. I'm not worried about the court here, as our living situation will improve. I am giving more toward visitation, sense I'll have more money I'll be able to afford going up there and drive 80% of the distance.
Anyways, ever sense we moved, my daughter has been having issues. My mom lives close by and I told her we can go over there, but you have to do better in school to do so. Either by listening to the teacher, homework has to be done right and turned in. I've tried to limit it to at least one time a week. She has been yelling at me to go there and visit all the time. It's been getting a little frustrating, but I try to tell her that can't go there every day because you won't learn or do anything.
This morning, I woke her up at 7:00 to get ready for school. About every 5-10 minutes, I have to go back in there to get her moving, make sure she's dressed, make sure she brushed her hair. Most of the time she's still laying in bed. This morning she didn't get moving for at least 40 minutes. I was making her lunch in a rush, she comes around the corner and starts yelling at me because she didn't have breakfast yet. I mean yelling at me. She's only 7 years old, but I just can't believe her attitude.
I'm lost as to what to do. About breakfast, I told her earlier that if she gets up on time, she'll have enough time to eat. I would totally understand if it was because of the change in surroundings. However, the surroundings are totally better. She gets to talk to her mom when ever she wants. She gets to go to her mom's the same amount of time per month. The drive sucks, but we usually chill in the car. It's a 3-4 hour drive and we usually talk or listen to music the whole way.
It would be one thing if she was just bored being in the apartment through the week. Now she's demanding we go to my mom's place on a daily basis. I haven't started my job yet, which I hope I will start next Monday. So with that, I don't have a lot of money to be spending to go out every night, or drive to my mother's place. We do things at night, too, so it isn't like I'm just leaving her to do whatever. I'm just lost.
A child at 7 is not going to appreciate the move up in area like a parent. In her mind you moved her away from her grand mom which is better to her.
You've turned her world upside down to a place that she's not familiar with. Give her some time to be settled in, try to see your mom if it makes her feel better in these first weeks, or perhaps have your mom come and visit you at the house. Perhaps she can help her set her room with a "girl's" touch.
Knowing this you will probably have to wake up a little earlier to allow more time to prepare. perhaps you can prepare lunch/snack the night before? Talk to her, talk to her talk to her! Visit neighboring areas - park, playgrounds, stores, etc so that she starts getting familiar with the area. Also it wouldn't hurt to introduce yourselves with neighbors, perhaps there are others her age closeby.
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ryan and sarra my beloved kids
