Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Selfish is actually having FIVE children nowadays, imo.
Kids are GREAT, yes. AND children are literally starving to death as we post... last I saw, 1/4 of US children live BELOW the poverty line, not to mention 3rd world countries.
The earth itself can only take so much...and overpopulation is a major negative factor.
Do those contemplating a child ever consider these issues?
I support you OP, and hope you can work things out with your family. Just doesn't seem that child #5 would help you out in that respect. If your kids are that young, oh my, the bills coming in later as they grow older...might shock you, as I am told.
I hope you take care of yourself, get counseling for your wife and that you both will be good parents to those kids you already have.... good luck.
Most of us do. I know these reasons are why I stopped at 2.
OP - something also to consider. Your wife is 38. Drawing from my personal experience, she's around the age when it dawns on you that your reproductive years are over. I didn't think it would be an issue since I was blessed with two wonderful children, but I'm actually feeling the pains of the "clock" big time now. The thought that once I stop pumping when my daughter's a year, that will be it for me makes me sad. I will never breastfeed again, for good or for bad. My youngest took her first steps already, and while I was overjoyed, I was also somewhat sad. Because I knew that I would never experience that again since she is our last child. In two months she will no longer be a baby. She will be a toddler. I really think it is something only another woman can understand. My husband is dead set against having another child, and to be honest, he is right. It is always good to have one logical person at times. I freely admit that my desire for another child is due to having a hard time accepting the fact that the reproductive stage of my life has ended. That is not a reason to have another child. Children are serious commitments on all fronts and every couple knows his/her capacity. For some it is one, others two, three, four...
OP - something also to consider. Your wife is 38. Drawing from my personal experience, she's around the age when it dawns on you that your reproductive years are over. I didn't think it would be an issue since I was blessed with two wonderful children, but I'm actually feeling the pains of the "clock" big time now. The thought that once I stop pumping when my daughter's a year, that will be it for me makes me sad. I will never breastfeed again, for good or for bad. My youngest took her first steps already, and while I was overjoyed, I was also somewhat sad. Because I knew that I would never experience that again since she is our last child. In two months she will no longer be a baby. She will be a toddler. I really think it is something only another woman can understand. My husband is dead set against having another child, and to be honest, he is right. It is always good to have one logical person at times. I freely admit that my desire for another child is due to having a hard time accepting the fact that the reproductive stage of my life has ended. That is not a reason to have another child. Children are serious commitments on all fronts and every couple knows his/her capacity. For some it is one, others two, three, four...
I wonder if it is the combo of having a little one and being 38 at the same time. My youngest is 6, I'm 38, and I'm not feeling that at all. If I found out I was pregnant right now I'd cry, and not in a happy way.
You make a good point, though. The difference between you and Mrs. OP is that you are thinking rationally. She isn't. I do also understand that she doesn't realize she's not thinking rationally. The only hope is her overcoming her hormones and apparent depression, thus realizing she's not thinking clearly. Sorry, I'm rambling.
Selfish is actually having FIVE children nowadays, imo.
Kids are GREAT, yes. AND children are literally starving to death as we post... last I saw, 1/4 of US children live BELOW the poverty line, not to mention 3rd world countries.
The earth itself can only take so much...and overpopulation is a major negative factor.
Do those contemplating a child ever consider these issues?
I support you OP, and hope you can work things out with your family. Just doesn't seem that child #5 would help you out in that respect. If your kids are that young, oh my, the bills coming in later as they grow older...might shock you, as I am told.
I hope you take care of yourself, get counseling for your wife and that you both will be good parents to those kids you already have.... good luck.
Oh, please. My Great-grandparents raised 8 girls (the first 4 all a year apart) in a 4 bedroom house during the 1940s-1960s. Though I'm not saying the smaller house was ideal, but they did it. All of them graduated high school and 6 went to college. They're all successful now.
His wife sounds more than willing to have another baby.
I don't know why some of you people act like big families are a bad thing, that's the reflection I get from some you posters. I also don't buy into that whole liberal "global warming, having only two children to protect" the earth" thing. Perhaps some of you think we ought to be China and only allow one child per family.
As for finances, people have to live within their means and necessities. People spend too much money on things they don't need and end up in debt.
Oh, please. My Great-grandparents raised 8 girls (the first 4 all a year apart) in a 4 bedroom house, not saying the smaller house was ideal. But they did it. All of them graduated high school and 6 went to college. They're all successful now.
His wife sounds more than willing to have another baby.
I don't know why some of you people act like big families are a bad thing, that's the reflection I get from some you posters. I also don't buy into that whole liberal "global warming, having only two children to protect" the earth" thing. Perhaps some of you think we ought to be China and only allow one child per family.
What your great grandparents did is irrelevant. All that is relevant is that the subject family doesn't currently have maternity medical coverage, the husband doesn't want another child, and there is very good reason to think the wife won't either, if you give her time to heal from her recent loss.
This not talking and tension and avoiding is for the birds. We're adult children over here. This morning she even locked our bedroom door while she took a shower so I wouldn't see her naked I guess. This is just getting worse and worse. To top it off I guess everybody and there grandparents are having marital issues cause I'm having problems finding a counselor that is even accepting people right now.
You have bigger issues with your marriage than just this child thing. I suspect that the only thing that kept you two together the last 8 years or so is having kids. It's probably why she relates having one and staying married.
You definately need to find help.
Call Dr Phil.
Good luck.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
