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Is keeping a bib on really that big of a deal? You don't discipline a 10 month old. You pick you battles. you redirect. You give a stern "NO." That's about all you can do for several more months.
A 10 month old absolutely knows cause and effect: to think otherwise means you are seriously underestimating a child's abilities and if you're doing that now, you'll be in a world of trouble by the time a child reaches its teens. Cause and effect is simply conditioning. Child needs bib on to eat is a simple one, especially when coupled with saying so.
A person has more synapses and nerve pathways at birth than at any other time in life. They are simply not as developed as they will be. The ones that are not developed die off. (see any physiology text)
What you need when they are that age is patience and breaks. Hope someone can give you a rest part of each day. Otherwise, you don't discipline, you distract, sigh, laugh at the situation and most of all keep your expectations LOW. She is still a baby.
She likes to get reactions from people..i.e. she pinches someone just to see their reaction. If someone reacts sharply to her (i.e. "No Anji!"), she proceeds to cry, as if to say "you told me no? how dare you!" Another thing she's doing lately is nudging my chin to the side forcefully, almost as if slapping it but without the force. She does this, again, to get a reaction.
Tonight she tore off her bib. Told her no, and put it back on. She worked at it again and tore it off. Put it firmly back on. She was extra willful tonight and kept tearing it off, and I kept putting it back on. I tried re-direct/distraction and that worked momentarily before she was at it again.
With the bib, all you can do - outside of getting one that ties so she CAN'T take it off - is either sit right there and keep stopping her every other second or just let her take it off and take it away (don't let her play with it, that's a bit too much of a reward).
Now on to pinching/hitting. There are a lot of details in this, but you wanted advice you couldn't just think of on your own in a few seconds' time, correct?
First, watch her more closely and prevent every instance of her pinching/hitting you or anyone else (warn people) that you can, even if it means you can't have a conversation. Grab her hand as soon as she tries, or succeeds, to pinch/hit. Give a firm "NO", followed by "Timeout?". Then, if she does it again within 5 seconds (and expect that she will), off to timeout she goes. Yes! Timeout for a 10-month old. Put her in there, walk away. Give her one whole minute in there (whether she cries or not) and then get her out (whether she's crying or not).
Don't put her in timeout unless you've actually given her the "Timeout?" warning. That's because babies/toddlers don't always recognize "NO" from other words or noises. "Timeout" confirms they're on the brink of getting in trouble. Further, you're wanting to teach her to listen to your voice as well as teach her what not to do.
Don't put her in timeout 30 minutes or less before naptime (or when she's already sleepy). Just stick with the firm "NO"s if that's the case.
If you're holding her and timeout is more than a 15-second walk away, don't bother with timeout. Just put her down instead and ignore her (waiting a full minute before you pick her up again, cry or no cry).
Do all you can to maintain a fairly quiet, peaceful environment in the house. If you or someone in the house is loud on a regular basis, you can expect your firm "NO"s to have little effect. But don't despair if there isn't much you can do along these lines; that's why you also grab her hands, to enhance your attention-getting ability.
Last, but certainly not least, be SURE she's getting enough attention when she's being good. No matter how redundant it may get for you, praise her for good behavior every chance you get. You said it yourself: She likes to get reactions from people. So, use this natural reward system to your advantage.
Kid needs a dog trainer outlook .. yanno come sit stay quiet .. Oh and get a spray bottle and keep it with you for the "NO NO " moments .. a spray and a NO NO will teach her to not do that stuff ..
::grins:: I KNOW I am gonna get tromped here but yanno what .. it works .. My kids grew up to be human and decent ones at that .. and they are in their 30's & 40s now so didnt kill em ..
lol, that's funny, sort of, but why didn't you just get dogs? They are easier to train than human beings whom one day will need that "will" to take care of themselves without you.
Don't forget babies are humans, they will need to make decisions that include risks to lead a happy and productive life.
Dogs on the other hand, will live with you forever
Last edited by PoppySead; 02-26-2012 at 09:32 PM..
Reason: Accident, posted before I was finished :( sorry
Timeout for a 10 month old? With a "timeout warning" to boot?
Yessir! Once they become toddlers (as this one has), timeout is inherently a punishment. And by the sound of "She likes to get reactions from people", she can appreciate cause and effect. I see no problem. Worked with me and mine.
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