Parents need to sit down and talk to your sons.

[Fleur66]

Originally Posted by Caltovegas

The whole situation is crazy. There was and still is to some extent a big hoopla over contraception. Boy meets girl and each are under 21. Girl get pregnant. Boy and girl have no intentions of getting married. Girl tries to deal with child and go to school but can't handle it. Girl gets state assistance. Now boy has to pay back the state?

Now to throw in a another monkey wrench into all this the boy didn't want to become a father but the girl did like the idea of becoming a mother. I'm not trying to bring any moral beliefs into this it's just about what can happen and the long term effects that can take place.

The real shocker for me was learning that the guy has to pay back the state for assistance given. If Johnny isn't established financially I would assume the interest just keeps growing. So 18 or 19 year old young, dum and full of ____ Johnny has to worry about child support payments and paying back the state for a one night stand with Jane. Parents please talk to your sons.

If one is not interested in becoming a dad....well then take the steps not to.

[Wyndsong71]

Originally Posted by Caltovegas

Here's an article I ran across. Paperless Child Support Payments May Cost Poor Fathers Only Source Of Income

Basically it's saying the GOV. is going paperless and if men are behind in support payments they can go after it by attaching the bank account or debit card. From what I gather it can happen years after the kid is grown.

I understand the logic but something I didn't know ( I don't have any kids) is if the mother of a child goes on welfare the father of the child has to pay it back to the state. In a situation like this I would think each parent should be responsible for half of the running tab.

. <---- amount of sympathy I have for deadbeat dads. The reason they are "poor" is usually becasue they are DEADBEATS and don't want to or refuse to work and support their children. And i'm sorry, but the money DOES go to the children!! I can tell you from actual real world situations that the children get the money. The state only takes a tiny amount (usually $50 a month) from child support to pay for welfare back payments, not the whole amount all at once.

Situation 1. My father stopped paying support when I was 17 (not 18), a whole measley $80 a month and he stopped paying a year early. The state of CA kept a running tab and put a lean on his house. about 12 or so years later my mom gets a check from the Court Trustees for $4k. Back child support with interest!

Situation 2. My deadbeat ex husband who quit every job he wasn't fired from, must be on some sort of government benefit for the last year, cuz that's the only way he'd bring in a steady income that would allow him to make the monthly support checks, PLUS an extra $100 a month to pay off the back payments he owes me, AND on top of that he pays $50 a month back to the state for when we were on welfare. I did have to give the money back also, becasue any time I got a refund from the state, when I was working, the state took it to pay back the amount that I was paid thru welfare.

[NC~Mom]

In NC, public assistance such as EBT, or Medicaid funds are NOT paid back.
The only thing that is repaid is cash assistance received through the Work First program....and you have a very limited time to be on that program....

[beachmel]

Originally Posted by Caltovegas

Here's an article I ran across. Paperless Child Support Payments May Cost Poor Fathers Only Source Of Income

Basically it's saying the GOV. is going paperless and if men are behind in support payments they can go after it by attaching the bank account or debit card. From what I gather it can happen years after the kid is grown.

I understand the logic but something I didn't know ( I don't have any kids) is if the mother of a child goes on welfare the father of the child has to pay it back to the state. In a situation like this I would think each parent should be responsible for half of the running tab.

Parents should talk to their children and a great majority of them do. As we've covered though, over and over again in these threads, children don't always LISTEN to their parents. A great majority of those teens (and older), have something called "perma-denial"...for instance, "I'm not that stupid", "I'm not dumb enough to have unprotected sex". Hey, when kids see teen after teen having sex and only hear about darn few that they're going to school with, getting pregnant, it holds about as much weight as when my generation was told that pot turned you into a crazed lunatic!

Sadly, a great many of the boys believe that every girl who says she's on birth control, IS on birth control. They also believe that 99% effective is 100% effective. Yes, you too could be that 1/100. A great deal of these girls/young women BELIEVE boys when they use that line, "I love you! I want to spend the rest of my life with you." What he's probably saying is, "I want to spend the next 30 min with you. We'll see what happens from there." Lust and sexual drive gets out of control. When it does, both of them should be responsible.

Hopefully, the crackdown on DBD/DBPs, will throw a bit more thought into the mix. I only wish they'd actually share that scare tactic in health classes!! "Oh.....by the way, should you choose NOT to remain abstinent, here are the possible outcomes. Not only might you end up with an STD, but you could end up having your bank account seized, your paychecks hacked to bits, be unable to obtain a driver's license if you don't pay, etc. Either way....you WILL be paying for that encounter for at LEAST 18 years!"

The trouble with today's teens? They've watched and heard about dead beat parents getting away with it their entire lives. Of course, they're not worried about it. Heck, Uncle Bob never paid child support and he's got a nice car, nice house, great job, etc. It's a new day.