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Old 02-28-2012, 09:19 AM
 
1,339 posts, read 3,224,219 times
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I have a 6-yr old who is an extremely well-behaved kid out side the house. At home, he is very well-behaved for the most part until he has to do something he doesn't want. For example, if he hears a NO to "can I watch TV" or if he's asked to clean-up. This started a few months ago.

His way of revolting is to cry and whine, and throw himself on the ground. This really frustrates me and my wife since he will never do such a thing outside the house. We have explained to him patiently and calmly to "talk it out" whatever it is that he does not agree with, and he will apologize for his behavior, but will forget it the next minute. We have tried time outs (2 to 15 mins) and even grounded him (1 to 2 hts), but it still hasn't worked.

In fact, we will remind him about "talking it out" and "time outs and grounding" the very minute we feel he is going to throw a tantrum, but that still doesn't stop him. It's like he's protesting against the thing that will get him into trouble by doing those exact same things because either (1) his brain cannot comprehend it or (2) his brain is just used to throwing a tantrum.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle his behavior? It's not that big a problem as such since he's a very well-behaved and cheerful kid for the most part. But it does affect my and my wife's moods when we have to go through this at home after a long day at work.

Please advise.
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Old 02-28-2012, 09:22 AM
 
20,793 posts, read 57,498,206 times
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A 6 year old that acted like that at our house would have been picked up and deposited in their bedroom until they could behave. There would have been no 'talking it out" or reasoning with them. They should know better at that age.
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Old 02-28-2012, 09:39 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,478 posts, read 24,072,551 times
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My six year old does that sometimes, but only in front of me, never in front of her dad. I send her right to her room and tell her she can't come out for half an hour. She almost always falls asleep during that half hour. I think she only acts like that when she's really tired.
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Old 02-28-2012, 09:41 AM
 
2,779 posts, read 5,078,520 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
A 6 year old that acted like that at our house would have been picked up and deposited in their bedroom until they could behave. There would have been no 'talking it out" or reasoning with them. They should know better at that age.
Agreed. Stop talking to him and start punishing him. He's controlling you with his tantrums, especially if he manages to keep his temper under control outside the home.

15min timeouts are not a punishment...I gave my 2yr old 15min timeouts. Your son needs an afternoon in his room or better yet on a chair without access to toys. Speaking of toys, I would start taking them away every time he tantrums. He would have to earn back the TV, toys, playing with friends. At 6 that kind of behavior is unacceptable.
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Old 02-28-2012, 09:42 AM
 
Location: North America
14,204 posts, read 11,168,474 times
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Ignore it basically....once he realizes you will not give into his little tantrums he will stop.
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Old 02-28-2012, 09:45 AM
 
35,103 posts, read 45,902,104 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kutra11 View Post
I have a 6-yr old who is an extremely well-behaved kid out side the house. At home, he is very well-behaved for the most part until he has to do something he doesn't want. For example, if he hears a NO to "can I watch TV" or if he's asked to clean-up. This started a few months ago.

His way of revolting is to cry and whine, and throw himself on the ground. This really frustrates me and my wife since he will never do such a thing outside the house. We have explained to him patiently and calmly to "talk it out" whatever it is that he does not agree with, and he will apologize for his behavior, but will forget it the next minute. We have tried time outs (2 to 15 mins) and even grounded him (1 to 2 hts), but it still hasn't worked.

In fact, we will remind him about "talking it out" and "time outs and grounding" the very minute we feel he is going to throw a tantrum, but that still doesn't stop him. It's like he's protesting against the thing that will get him into trouble by doing those exact same things because either (1) his brain cannot comprehend it or (2) his brain is just used to throwing a tantrum.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle his behavior? It's not that big a problem as such since he's a very well-behaved and cheerful kid for the most part. But it does affect my and my wife's moods when we have to go through this at home after a long day at work.

Please advise.
Send him to his room until he chooses to calm down and behave as he is expected to and do what he is told to do without the tantrum. Be firm and do not give in but do tell him why he is going to his room and that he will be in his room until he chooses to change his behavior. The problem here is if his room has tons of things to do like video, television, toys etc, you may have to set up a corner with a chair in the kitchen. Then if he gets up his time is extended by say 1 minute because he got up. See where I'm going with this?
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Old 02-28-2012, 09:48 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,478 posts, read 24,072,551 times
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I forgot to mention, I think they learn this behavior at school. My youngest never used to be a whiny kid until she was in school. Then she saw how it worked for other kids and decided to try it at home.
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Old 02-28-2012, 12:51 PM
 
85 posts, read 101,754 times
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My six year old does this too. I send him to his room until he feels he can interact nicely. Normally, he ends up falling asleep.
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Old 02-28-2012, 01:04 PM
 
32,524 posts, read 33,813,367 times
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Look him right in the face and say, "I know and you know that you are throwing this tantrum to get your own way. That is not going to work so don't go into your act."

Once they realize you are smarter than they are and you know exactly what they are doing, which is trying to manipulate you into giving them what they want, they stop.

They're frustrated as all get out because they know it works for their friends, but they stop because it doesn't do them any good.

BTW: They always try and pull this when you come home and are tired. They can smell weakness.
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Old 02-28-2012, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
16,810 posts, read 28,156,554 times
Reputation: 23700
if the child is on the floor a good hard pinch on the arm to get up and behave, will do the trick.


time out, my ass.
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