Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This girl was my friend in middle school. They moved to our town in 5th grade. She had a brother who was two years older and another who was a year younger.
The friend was hardly permitted to do a thing. Her mom gad died a couple of years before and her dad, not a bad looing man who was a builder, married the meanest SADISTIC BATTLE AXE OF A WOMAN AND WORST MOTHER, STEP OR BIO THAT i HAVE EVER MET.
She beat them all a large paddle that hung in the kitchen and heavy belts. She verbally abused and humiliated them in front of guests, calling them names - imbeciles, morons etc. She would cut them off mid sentence with snide comments like (this to the youngest boy) "very interesting! You have anything else you wanna share 'cause you are boring me outta my mind!"
I was only 14 but I saw this little boys face flush and he hung his head. I felt so sad but everyone just continued to eat.
My friend asked if she could try out for cheerleading. Her dad said "Ask your MOTHER" she said "I don't care I doubt that you'll make it any way, you are so skinny and a clod, but if you do remember you have a house to clean!'
We both made the team. We ran home and first went to my hose. My mom was so proud and she hugged me and too a Polaroid picture of us. I still have it. We had out Pep Squad Tees on, and our coulotte skirts and saddle shoes. We were like "pre cheerleasers" My friend looked SO HAPPY. It would not last.
We ran down the hill to my friends house and that horrible woman said " Well I'm surprised! But now I have a surprise for you! YOU have a house to clean! Forget cheerleading! You have been keeping MY house like a PIG STY! I want you to take apart that pantry and your friend can go home!"
She was hardly ever allowed out of the house. Her step monster made her keep her hair really short, - like herself. The kids all looked terrified all the time. They were a;ll skinny. These people were not poor.
Every time I think of her and her brothers, I feel sad and angry. I can't believe that her father permitted this to go on.
Also, the woman's niece lived with them. I remember visiting and watching her lie in her bedroom, reading "Glamour Magazine" and watching her color TV - the largest of the kids rooms, while my friend scurried around the house to finish her chores. The Step woman was sceaming out - "YOU are going know where if this pace does not sparkle"
The older girl never thought to help her, even on this rare night that she was permitting to see a movie.
I can't find them on facebook. I am sure if this is what I know, much worse things must have gone on behind closed doors.
All I know is the her dad id re-married for the 3rd time, lives in FL She lives upstate NY with her brothers. None of them ever married.
She went on to get kicked out a week after her 18th birthday because she went out and got a cell phone plan in her own name so her parents couldn't take her cell phone away anymore, legally that is.
She then bounced from place to place and got knocked up by one of her roommates and then miscarried.
Then WHILE miscarrying, got involved in another relationship with a guy and after a few months decided to move in with him.
She hasn't maintained a SINGLE friend since leaving high school, she accuses EVERYONE of talking behind her back, stealing large sums of money from her, and random other things.
She has major trust issues, bipolar like mood swings and will stab you in the back if you blink funny.
She's STILL in that relationship and she got pregnant last year AGAIN and miscarried again.
She was also raped by a few of her step fathers, she's had like 3 of them. So she has major trust issues with men.
Sorry I can't tell you that she went on to have a normal life.
She has some pretty major issues and I am no longer friends with her because I was her closest friend and she took things out on me the worst and tried to have me arrested for a felony I didn't commit.
Hopefully she is able to sort out her issues and get better but right now she is a mess.
I hope she can get past this. There are times when I think kids should be allowed to sue their parents. This is one of them.
A childhood friend of ours had a crack addict mother. Her mother would disappear for days, sometimes weeks at a time, leaving the kids to fend for themselves. The oldest, a teenager, felt responsible for her three younger siblings while her mom disappeared. Her younger sister ended up getting pregnant in middle school, the younger brother went to juvenile for robbing a store with some older friends (and spent the rest of his life in and out of prison), and the oldest herself ended up having children at a young age. She still takes care of her own kids, grandkids, nieces, and nephews, because she was forced at a young age to be an adult when she should have been enjoying her childhood. I do have to say that in spite of her upbringing, she turned out to be a good mother and a wonderful person, as did the youngest sibling. The other two ended up using drugs, having kids left and right, in and out of jail.
I would advise the OP that it could be worse. The example I gave of my friend, two of the four kids of a crackhead mom decided they were going to do better than that, and they did. The other two used their childhood as a reason to fail and blame their mother for it. You have a choice. You may not have the life you dream of, but at some point it's not your parents fault. Get a job, save some money, move out. You complain about having to go to community college, while you should look at that as an opportunity that some don't have. Community college can lead to a four year university, if that's what you really want. It's not your parents job to make you have good study habits at 19, it's yours. Take responsibility for your own life.
To the OP. You are on the cusp of still being a child -dependent on your family- yet wanting to act like an adult. I say take a running leap into adulthood and learn to accept responsibility for your own shortcomings. Make goals for yourself and hold yourself accountable for reaching those goals. Stop blaming your parents for your failures, your GPA etc. Just decide you are now an adult and all that involves.
Welcome to the real world. Continuing to complain about sorry parents will not change the past. Nor will it help you in your future. Just deal with it and move forward.
I want to hear your experiences and stories, maybe the one I am about to tell is not so bad.
Before I go off on a rant about my parents. I will say that they have provided me food, shelter, in some cases have encouraged me (though such cases are rare), and that is about it.
My little brother for the past 5 days has had nothing but fast food to eat after school. From Tuesday to Thursday it was Burger King, yesterday it was a Chinese Buffet, and today it was Dunkin Donuts. He is 5 years younger than me, about to go to high school, and he weights the same I do despite being a lot shorter than I am. His grades are good so that is all they really care about.
He stays up till 1 or 2 AM in the morning on weekends playing videogames, he plays videogames for about 9-10 hours a day, and they do not care. As an older brother, I try to get him to stop and not do such things, result? They yell at me and start a fight with me.
As a child I was a victim of their bad parenting too. What could have been an Ivy League fit kid ended up being a kid who is at a local university. I was overweight, significantly, but I ended up losing a lot of weight after I told them to get lost and back off. They tried to force me and urge me to eat at buffets too but I learned to turn them down.
Right now I am a kid who lives at home (out by the end of this year), have gotten into various arguments with them which have ended up disasters, have a low GPA because they forced me to major in something I had no interest in and when I tried to fight them over it they yelled constantly and I lacked the backbone to stand up to them.
I am 19 right now. A lot of my future has been ruined because my parents strict yet incompetent parenting. They really messed a lot of things up. Talking to them has ended up a disaster so I am typing up things on word to let them know what they did wrong but I do not even know if that will work but it seems unlikely. How can these people be this way and why did I have to be born to them......
You tell you story!!
OP, you are very angry and perhaps you could use more guidance on how to deal with this emotion and attitude of blaming them. Your parents are obviously not your best source but there are many books out there that could guide you into another way of thinking.
OMG, YOU GUYS DO NOT UNDERSTAND A THING, here LET ME DUMB IT DOWN!!!!
1. I had no choice in my major, I was forced to take classes in college which I did not want to take, they flat out said that is the case and that is it, they decided my major against my own will and as a result my GPA suffered. Whenever I told them about the situation they called me lazy, because I had no interest in chemistry which they FORCED me to major in.
2. They had the money to buy a house in a better district when they were looking for a house to buy, instead, to save 10 minutes on commute they sent me to a school in a bad urban district where I saw the crap you guys are talking about.
3. My little brother is obese, weights the SAME AS ME, is up all night playing videogames and they do not stop him. HIS HEALTH IS AT RISK.
4. Whenever I TRY TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, I get shouted at and cussed out. Seriously, a young kid cannot take action himself and my little brother needs parenting, THEY ARE NOT BEING PARENTS!!!
WHAT THE HECK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU GUYS!?
I mean COME ON! The proof is right there. If you think they are good parents I surely feel sorry for your kids.
and to all who say, well your GPA is your responsibility
1. When you are studying something you have NO INTEREST IN, you will fail, period, even if you study a lot. And science is really one of those subjects.
2. I had no choice, I literally didn't. They MADE ME stay at home for college. And do not pull the BS saying "oh but you are 18, you didn't have to!", OH PLEASE, when you get sheltered heavily and are not even allowed to have a job, how are you gonna go to college? starve on the streets and attend classes?
3. They checked my emails in college, in one case they yelled at me for staying late at the library to study for a test.
Oh NO NO NO, I do not go to a community college, my parents think community colleges are for retards (seriously). I go to a 4 year university which is about 6 minutes from my house.
First of all, your parents are feeding your brother, he's getting good grades, they don't beat either of you, you are living in their house rent free, eating their food, sleeping in a bed they paid for and attending school on their dime? Wow... I wish I'd had your advantages. I didn't. I won't bore you with the details, but I will say... I would've LOVED to have YOUR parents!
You DO have a choice... you are NOT being forced to live there. You are choosing the comforts they provide, the education they provide, etc... I spent 3 years in a state of homelessness. I chose it of course... I didn't want to be beaten any longer, and I was afraid they'd kill me. It seemed dumb to continue paying them to live in their house, while paying for room and board, my own medical bills, high school fees -yes, my public high school had fees of about $200/yr in order to take anything more than the minimum required classes. It sucked. But it was a CHOICE.
You are CHOOSING to live with them. They cannot force you to live there or attend the classes they want you to. Years after I left my mother's home, I contacted my father, who helped me change my life. He's not a great father, but he's not awful either. I know awful. In addition to his many quirks, he's a conspiracy theorist. But he always says that there WON'T be a revolt in this country because people can't live without their "stuff".
You are a prime example of an entitled young person, who allows "stuff" rule you. You are not alone in this... and your age group isn't either. If you don't like your living situation, change it. If you truly feel your brother is being neglected/abused... call CPS.
But do yourself a favor... hold the phone at least 3" from your ear when you call.
We don't want the roar of laughter in the background to deafen you.
You are an adult. If you don't like your situation, change it. Get therapy. Let go of the past. Forgive your parents - they did the best they could do. Focus on the good they did. You are in a victim mode and it won't help you in life. You can do whatever you want now. It is totally up to you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
