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By today's standards, yes, the aunt was too pushy. I really don't think it would have been considered so 50 years ago. I was born in the late '70s, and when I was a toddler, I was rowdy and loud. My poor mother was horrified by my behavior. Once in a grocery store, she started to spank me. A woman in her 60s told my mother that she shouldn't be hitting me, and my mother said, "Here. You take her then." Of course, the woman didn't want me. I think it was more normal, more standard in older generations for adults to look after or interfere with all children. I think there was more to the idea "it takes a village to raise a child", and, therefore, people stepped in. Today when people speak up or step in we are horrified and offended. I am curious what some of you will find when you start reading up on it. Please pass it along!
Back in my day, adults corrected kids that were not their own relatively frequently. My aunt was known to accost teenage boys in our town and tell them they needed to get a haircut. She usually knew the parents of the kids. I would never do that and I am 67 now, but when I grew up, it was pretty common.
I agree with you. If they're not in mortal peril or knocking little ones over, I usually mind my own business. I say "usually" because I have a feeling this discussion will morph into questions like, "But what if you saw a child running with a flamethrower? You bet I would step in."
What about with a rusty chainsaw going full speed?
I have to relate a rather amusing story that happened quite a few years ago with my daughter at a splash park. As you all know, my daughter is not the easiest child and can get really silly (and annoying). One hot July day, we were at a local park that has the spashy types of things----squirt guns, buckets of water that fill up and tip over, etc. One very dressed up Jersey lady in full make up, big hair, heels, nice outfit (in a 95 degree day) was doing the overprotective thing and standing right by her kid within squirting range. People were stepping around her and trying to not get her wet. She was also yacking away on her cell phone. My daughter proceeds to let loose a huge blast of water towards other kids but completely soaks this woman. The woman stomps over to me mad as a hornet with armsful of parenting advice and threatening me that if her cell phone was damanged..........
I apologized of course but was laughing inwardly for the rest of the afternoon. I still smile when I type this.
When I was 8 (I'm a Boomer) parents corrected other people's kids if they were about to start a fire that would burn down the neighborhood. How to sit on a teeter-totter? No. The parents would have looked at her and said, "Bet she bosses her husband around too."
It does NOT take a village to raise a child, but 2 parents. Seeing as sometimes one or both of those parents may not be keeping watch or doing the stellar jobs they ought to, sometimes others need to step in. That does not mean I agree with unwarrnated involvement, but I have been in situations where "someone" needed to do something, and where were the parents?? So, there are times it should certainly be acceptable.
Yes, auntie was out of line, but I believe it is either the age, or she has always been controlling. If the child was about to fall off or hurt herself, she would have been right to intervene. Otherwise, there's no rule that says the kid has to play a certain way, and auntie should have just relaxed and enjoyed watching her own nieces and nephews play.
I have corrected other people's children at the park when I see them hitting or pushing other kids and their parents aren't there or can't be bothered, but usually I don't step in until they are getting carried away, or it 's my kid they're hitting. I do realize chastising other kids can lead to a nasty confrontation with parents, so I try not to do it unless I feel it's necessary. I grew up in the 70s and 80s, when kids wouldn't dare do something wrong in front of ANY adult. Now, it's like kids know that adults can't say or do anything to them, so feel comfortable acting up whenever they feel like it.
Yes, your aunt was out of line. I can't help but wonder, where was the little girl's parent? I would think that most people would look for the parent first and make him/her aware of the situation if the child is doing something unsafe or being extremely rude (bullying another kid, for example). Even if the parent wasn't paying attention, it still seems out of line, since the situation doesn't sound dangerous.
Was your aunt ever a teacher or in charge of other people's kids? I used to be a teacher, and sometimes my inner teacher comes out of nowhere (complete with the stern look and voice) when I see something that needs to be corrected quickly.
Edited to add: It's a good thing you got her out of there. If she had followed through with physically correcting the girl, she might have wound up in jail.
In the case of the aunt, since the girl wasn't doing anything dangerous or destructive, it kinda feels like she's just the kind of person who's bothered by people not doing things the "right way" or following the rules . I have a family relative that is kinda that way.... she'll refold towels and sheets at your house, season food while you're cooking it, straighten things on a shelf at store, tuck labels on on stranger's clothing, and gets worked up over people who cheat on their taxes or collect "welfare" . I can remember her getting really fidgety over my (toddler) cousins habit of eating her pizza from the crust to the point...
OMG, you described things my aunt does! There's actually someone else like her in the world? I've only seen her act like this around family, so I was surprised at the playground. But then, she doesn't usually go with me to public places.
As for the boy at the zoo, I would've gave him a firm "no" while I used my stern face to explain why we don't kick a fox's cage. I had to do this once with a similar incident and the shocked look on the little boy's face was priceless. It was like no one had called him out for behaving badly.
It's a good thing you got her out of there. If she had followed through with physically correcting the girl, she might have wound up in jail.
That crossed my mind, especially as I was surveying the playground for the girl's parent and saw a man sitting on a bench who looked like Stone Cold Steve Austin (a WWE wrestler). He was the only parent looking in our direction and I didn't want a possible confrontation with that big dude!
I grew up in the 70s and 80s, when kids wouldn't dare do something wrong in front of ANY adult. Now, it's like kids know that adults can't say or do anything to them, so feel comfortable acting up whenever they feel like it.
Yes, times were different back then in that way. At that same playground, there were a couple of kids, not more than 4 yrs old, hogging the slide that my son wanted. I waited for him to say something, but he's still kind of shy, so I politely told the kids that there was someone waiting for a turn on the slide. They looked at me and then promptly went back to their game on the slide. I stood there in shock for a moment and then, like it was meant to be, the toy they were playing with fell near me. I grabbed it and told them they'd get it back when they starting sharing the slide. Oh, the power I had! They shared after that.
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Please pass it along!
I've only seen her act like this around family, so I was surprised at the playground. But then, she doesn't usually go with me to public places. 
They shared after that.
