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I see a lot of the problem as kids who come from upper middle class families expect to live the same way their were raised. They don't see that their parents might have lived very frugally to obtain the life style the kids take for granted. They are not willing to do the same or gradually obtain the "status" that their parents worked so hard for.
I personally would not want to deny my kids the experiences needed to obtain the kind of life style they think they want. If they are not willing to put as much work or make the sacrifices DH and I made to give them a comfortable life, then I don't think they will enjoy it as much. They certainly won't appreciate it as much if it is just handed to them.
A kid is raised in a nice home with swimming pool, family vacations, college paid for, etc and it can be a rude awakening as a young adult that all those privileges aren't immediately available to him. Guess what---you have to earn them just like your parents did.
Oh this is SO TRUE. So many college students these days think they are entitled to a 120,000/year salary because that's what their parents make. What they don't realize is that you have to WORK you way up. You have to earn everything you can you can't buy everything at one time. You get things over time and you accumulate it in your life.
I must admit, I am a bit like this.. I do like things fast and when I want something I want it quickly. But hey, that's just being American
I moved out at 18 and 6 months old. I made 8.50 an hour and yet supported myself completely. Rent was 379 electric about 40 or 50 a month and I bought a $1000 that turned out to be very reliable. I dont see whats so hard about that. You could work at mcdonalds and make that kind of money. And I was a full time college student.
I moved out at 18 and 6 months old. I made 8.50 an hour and yet supported myself completely. Rent was 379 electric about 40 or 50 a month and I bought a $1000 that turned out to be very reliable. I dont see whats so hard about that. You could work at mcdonalds and make that kind of money. And I was a full time college student.
That would be Ohio. The cost of living is 50% higher in many areas of the US. So your example is ancedotal.
It is "different" so people are going to complain about it...what else is new.
Not that it's a new idea or anything, people have lived this way forever in other parts of the world. Society adapts to whatever is being presented to us. It's not a matter of being right or wrong or lazy or whatever. It just IS, and it really doesn't matter what you or anyone else does.
Sorry, but I sure as hell wouldn't feel comfortable having my adult child, his bride and their children in my home. I would feel as though I didn't have my own privacy in my own home. Noone wants to see their child struggle financially, but there comes a time when adults need to learn financial responsibility and not expect others, even their parents, to provide financial support into and beyond adulthood
I'm not suggesting that you do it, but I think it's the norm in a lot of cultures. And I think the idea is that everyone is contributing to the household so it raises everyone's standard of living and quality of life.
I moved out at 18 and 6 months old. I made 8.50 an hour and yet supported myself completely. Rent was 379 electric about 40 or 50 a month and I bought a $1000 that turned out to be very reliable. I dont see whats so hard about that. You could work at mcdonalds and make that kind of money. And I was a full time college student.
HA! Try doing that in NYC, where I'm from and then tell me "you don't see what's so hard about that."
HA! Try doing that in NYC, where I'm from and then tell me "you don't see what's so hard about that."
I lived in NYC right out of school in 1999 and worked in book publishing (not a well paying job). I had two roommates and lived in deepest darkest Brooklyn. I didn't own a car. I managed just fine, ate a lot of tuna.
Of course they are happy. Fewer than half pay rent regularly and they are not financially independent. This recession is making a new class of young adults who think nothing of living with Mom and Dad. We talk about "kick em out at 18" but it just isn't possible now. I worry about how this will change what being an independent adult means.
I think this is the future. We sold manufacturing to countries with the cheapest labor because we insist on paying the least for everything we buy. Now very few things are made here. Without a manufacturing base, we can't rebuild which means fewer jobs. The unemployed have to have someone paying their way and that will be mom and dad.
I see a lot of the problem as kids who come from upper middle class families expect to live the same way their were raised. They don't see that their parents might have lived very frugally to obtain the life style the kids take for granted. They are not willing to do the same or gradually obtain the "status" that their parents worked so hard for.
I personally would not want to deny my kids the experiences needed to obtain the kind of life style they think they want. If they are not willing to put as much work or make the sacrifices DH and I made to give them a comfortable life, then I don't think they will enjoy it as much. They certainly won't appreciate it as much if it is just handed to them.
A kid is raised in a nice home with swimming pool, family vacations, college paid for, etc and it can be a rude awakening as a young adult that all those privileges aren't immediately available to him. Guess what---you have to earn them just like your parents did.
I can't agree more with you. Both my husband and I lived very frugually and saved to get where we are now. I'm amazed at how much kids have and at times, how little they appreciate it.
If a tough sitution arose in life where my kids needed to move back home, I would welcome them. However, it is my house, my rules, and you need to be a considerate person. They need to make the effort to find a job, contribute to the household, etc. It gives me chills to think that my daughter (currently 12 and so very difficult) would be living here as an adult with us. She has put the whole family under enormous stress and when she does turn 18 if she doesn't go to college, we are marching her down to the local recruiting office and encourage her to go into the military to turn her life around. Frankly, I love her but if she was living here as a 28 year old woman with the same attitude, troubles, I probably would move and not leave our forwarding address.
I have several friends who have adult kids at home. My friend has her 24 year old son living with them. He has it good--goes clubbing later at night, lounges around in bed at noon and takes the odd job here and there. My other friend has her 27 year old daughter with her (and granddaughter). This young woman just wants to party and grandma is stuck with the kid, not only during the day while her daughter works at a low wage job but in the evenings too. It isn't a good situation for anyone.
I lived in NYC right out of school in 1999 and worked in book publishing (not a well paying job). I had two roommates and lived in deepest darkest Brooklyn. I didn't own a car. I managed just fine, ate a lot of tuna.
13 years ago. Was your job paying barely above minimum wage? I highly doubt this is possible today making 8.50 even in the worst neighborhoods.
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