Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Long story short my step sister (age 17) was complaining to my biological sister (age 25) that ever since our mother married her dad she has received less and less things from him.
Just recently my mother and the teens father bought her an $8K car for her 16th birthday. They have been making payments on that, paying her insurance, and paying her cell phone. Up until 1 month ago the teens father, my moms husband, was on unemployment and wasn't working. To put things in perspective, my mom makes less a year than I do and I am 23.
My step sister said the car "doesn't count". Have any of you dealt with a spoiled teen before? Any suggestions on how to handle the situation? My mother feels very upset that she is now seen as "the wicked step mother". I know that my mom and step dad are dumb with money, so save me that lecture since I have lectured them about it.
To the OP. Well, you've done what you can and should do as a child. There is nothing else you can do. I find that an endless source of family conflict and stress is that members of the family are trying to control, manipulate, badger, and harass other members of the family to act in the "right" way. So I'd advise you butt out. Let them make their own mistakes. You wouldn't want them over at your place telling you how to live your life, so do them the same courtesy. It makes life a lot simpler. We moved away from our families and never regretted it. We've visited many times, but its always nice to leave and go home.
rofl I didn't have a cell phone until 2005, and even then it was t-mobile prepaid emergency only cell phone...
1. Take away the car
2. Make her pay for it
But at 17, I think it might be too late for any corrective measure and anything you do will make you look like bad guy and ruin your relationship with your family.
You're saying the car payments and insurance are no longer getting paid by her father?
Was she asked to help contribute to the payments, the post isn't clear?
Who had to present the bad news, your mom?
Sorry. All payments are still being made and they aren't cutting her off. But she doesn't appreciate any little bit that she is given. Considering the costs associated with the car, insurance, and cell phone, my mother believes she should be thankful. However, the teen believes my mom has somehow restricted her from receiving more from her father.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prairieparson
To the OP. Well, you've done what you can and should do as a child. There is nothing else you can do. I find that an endless source of family conflict and stress is that members of the family are trying to control, manipulate, badger, and harass other members of the family to act in the "right" way. So I'd advise you butt out. Let them make their own mistakes. You wouldn't want them over at your place telling you how to live your life, so do them the same courtesy. It makes life a lot simpler. We moved away from our families and never regretted it. We've visited many times, but its always nice to leave and go home.
Yea. I understand that I shouldn't be butting in. I guess this is sort of a rant about teens who really don't show appreciation for what they receive. Also, she really has shown no consideration for my moms feelings. It sucks seeing my mom upset...
rofl I didn't have a cell phone until 2005, and even then it was t-mobile prepaid emergency only cell phone...
1. Take away the car
2. Make her pay for it
But at 17, I think it might be too late for any corrective measure and anything you do will make you look like bad guy and ruin your relationship with your family.
Agreed completely. I had a car at 16, but it was sort of a beater, it only cost 2K. Also, I didnt get a cell phone until 17, and even then I paid all of my insurance and gas. I could have afforded more because I graduate with 3.5K saved.
It's a proven fact that the more money you give your kids (or other people give them) the worse off they are. Read the book "The Millionaire Mind" if you don't believe me. It is full of actual case studies. Rich kids to poor kids. When they are given things, they don't usually appreciate them and they develop an entitlement mentality.
My own sister was raised with everything being given to her. When she was old enough to break out on her own and be self sufficient she would not do it. When my Mom died I found out she had still been giving my sister monthly checks and the my sister was in her 50's.
My sister ended up conning my Mom into changing her will to give my sister everything and cutting the rest of the family out.
I would recommend to just give a sympathetic ear to your mother when she comes to you to vent, but otherwise stay out of it. The girl's dad is the only one that is really in a position to deal with her. If he wanted to be supportive of your mother he could explain to her exactly how little she would be getting if their sole income were unemployment. However, I think age 17 is a little too late to deal with entitlement issues.
Long story short my step sister (age 17) was complaining to my biological sister (age 25) that ever since our mother married her dad she has received less and less things from him.
Just recently my mother and the teens father bought her an $8K car for her 16th birthday. They have been making payments on that, paying her insurance, and paying her cell phone. Up until 1 month ago the teens father, my moms husband, was on unemployment and wasn't working. To put things in perspective, my mom makes less a year than I do and I am 23.
My step sister said the car "doesn't count". Have any of you dealt with a spoiled teen before? Any suggestions on how to handle the situation? My mother feels very upset that she is now seen as "the wicked step mother". I know that my mom and step dad are dumb with money, so save me that lecture since I have lectured them about it.
I love this country.
Dude, I'd have tried to stop my mom from boarding into this train wreck, if it were mine. But it's not my place to speak for other people.
Have her wait for a year and the kid will get out. Hopefully, the thing finds a job and flies away.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
