Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
A child has no business drinking alcohol or taking drugs, legal or illegal until they reach adulthood and can make those choices for themselves. Parents should not be encouraging that kind of behavior. Instead parents should be offering unbiased (not from the DEA) factual information about the consequenes of alcohol and drug use.
This is the thing most children either don't think about or don't understand. Using alcohol, a toxic drug, can be deadly. Using illegal substances can make it impossible for a child to get into college, or to get finanial aid for school, or to get some jobs after school.
If parents used facts, instead of scare tactics, and if parents cited specific consequences that children might face if they choose to do alcohol or drugs, then maybe we'd have a chance at saving some kids from destroying their future. As adults they will soon enough be making those choices on their own.
I'm disappointed, but not surprised, at how many commentors here would be willing to give their children a toxic alcoholic drink (illegal in some states).
Every drunk started with a first drink. Do you really want to be able to say that you were the one who facilitated your son's downward spiral into alcoholism?
What is the rush anyway? Kids grow up too fast as it is. I think it is possible to rationally explain to your kids why they should wait until they are legally an adult to decide if drinking or smoking something is what they want to do. There are several organizations to assist parents with that message.
I think it's fairly common to let your teen drink at home for the sake of keeping an eye on them and I've heard occasionally about parents that find weed for their teen so they can experiment safely, but I've never heard of parents finding harder drugs for their kids or using drugs or alcohol to get them sick.
But I have heard about getting kids sick on cigarettes. Find them smoking one and make them smoke the pack.
When I was 17 a close friend of mine's mom let us drink one night under her supervision and with my mom's permission. We ended up mixing some ridiculous things together (wine coolers with liquor). Her mom told us to stop but we ended up being very sick! In retrospect it probably should have been done differently but it didn't hurt me in the long run. I didn't drink much before I was 21 and it's still a rare occasion for me. Drugs were never offered... that definitely would not have been permissible.
I think the most invaluable thing my mom did was try to keep communication as open as possible. She knew that parties in high school happen, so she told me if I was ever uncomfortable or impaired anywhere at anytime she would come pick me up. She told me she'd be disappointed if I were doing something I shouldn't but she'd much rather know about it so I wouldn't get hurt. Granted, I think whatever method a parent chooses depends on the child.
I'm disappointed, but not surprised, at how many commentors here would be willing to give their children a toxic alcoholic drink (illegal in some states).
Every drunk started with a first drink. Do you really want to be able to say that you were the one who facilitated your son's downward spiral into alcoholism?
Well obviously, not everyone believes that giving your teenager a sip or a small drink of alcohol with turn him/her into an alcoholic. It certainly didn't do that with me, and I remember not even being close to starting Junior High when I had my first sip of wine.
I'm disappointed, but not surprised, at how many commentors here would be willing to give their children a toxic alcoholic drink (illegal in some states).
Every drunk started with a first drink. Do you really want to be able to say that you were the one who facilitated your son's downward spiral into alcoholism?
I personally disagree with you that straight-edge is the only -- or even the best! -- way to raise kids who have responsible attitudes towards alcohol consumption, but I'm coming from the perspective of a family where a slightly more liberal attitude towards alcohol and drugs (read: OK at home in small amounts on special occasions, not OK elsewhere while we were under their roof, and don't ask/don't tell while we were away at college) led to adults who have had zero issues with drugs and alcohol.
This is a difficult conversation and one I'm not really sure I know how I feel about yet. I grew up in Canada and most of my friends had wine with dinner with their parents by high school. The drinking age is younger and that's just how we grew up. By the time I went to college in the US I was over the novelty of drinking and couldn't believe the idiotic immature American college students that thought puking and acting like a moron drunk were funny.
On the other hand, I drank beer at 13 and 14 which really isn't ok and I could have gotten into big trouble. So I'm just not sure what the right answer is, maybe there isn't one?
The earlier young people start drinking and using drugs, the more likely they are to become addicted. The Dangers of Drinking
What Are The Consequences Of Teen Alcohol Abuse?
Alcohol-related traffic crashes are a major cause of death among teens. Alcohol use also is linked with youthful deaths by drowning, suicide, and homicide.
Teens who use alcohol are more likely to become sexually active at earlier ages, to have sexual intercourse more often, and to have unprotected sex than teens who do not drink.
Young people who drink are more likely than others to be victims of violent crime, including rape, aggravated assault, and robbery.
Teens who drink are more likely to have problems with school work and school conduct.
Teen alcohol abuse can have a negative impact on self-esteem, relationship skills, physical and emotional independence, and future plans. As a result, teen drug abuse or alcohol problems may lead to difficulty building meaningful personal relationships or holding a job.
An individual who begins drinking as a young teen is four times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than someone who waits until adulthood to use alcohol. Teen Alcohol Abuse and Addiction
If you can avoid alcohol until you are an adult you will have a better chance at just keeping it social. People who start drinking, doing drugs or smoking in their teenage years are more likely to be the ones who can't stop drinking, doing drugs or smoking as adults. They will end up doing it nightly or daily. Why on earth would anyone encourage this? Because they do it, so they justify it?
In my opinion the last thing I want for my kids is addiction of any kind. I also wouldn't want to increase the other risks associated with it. They can make those decisions as adults and I have the added bonus knowing I didn't increase their chances of becoming tied to a substance because it sucks to be tied to anything like that. Life is challenging enough, why add to it, IMO.
My only job is to encourage them to have a good diet, get enough sleep, exercise and enjoy life naturally. They can experiment with mind or body alternating substance on their own when they are adults. I would never experiment together with them, I don't do those things so that would be odd.
But, yes, I do have friends who let their teens and their friends hang out at their homes and get drunk. She thinks it's safer, lol, I guess because she is also drunk she doesn't realize 1/2 of them show up already stoned before they down the alcohol. Last year a kid who was drunk fell off her roof. He was only 15, broke his arm. She wasn't sued surprisingly but as she stated, can't get money from someone who has none. The funny thing is she has enough money to provide the neighborhood teens with all those spirits. I don't go to her parties anymore, not with my teenagers, it's too hard to watch her hand out drinks to minors. But, yes, she is popular, not her kids mind you, her home. She thinks it makes her kids more popular but in reality if she stopped being the teen bar they wouldn't be. It's sad.
My parents didn't let me drink at all in high school and when I went away to college, I overindulged my first year or so. I turned out just fine but there were certainly situations that could have gone very bad very fast.
The theory behind letting your teen drink under your supervision, if they are interested in alcohol, is to let them get past that overdoing it stage in a safe environment instead of away from home in a new place. You don't necessarily let them get stupid hammered, you just let them try it out so they won't be the idiot freshman who thinks 10 shots in a row is a great way to start the night.
Well I'm not talking about parents who let their kids drink and do drugs because they want to be "cool" or liked, nor so they'll have a closer relationship or something. I'm talking about parents who do it because they worry that their kid might just go somewhere else to get the drugs or alcohol, which would be more dangerous. Some might even argue that this entails more "parenting", because other parents don't put in that kind of effort and involvement.
What all do you suggest, though? You seem to have a strong opinion.
I flat out wouldn't allow it period. End of story. It's illegal, and it's immoral for me (personally) to not only allow, but provide my children with alcohol or drugs.
My house is not an 'experimentation lab' - the whole notion of a 'controlled' environment to introduce them to a drug reeks in my opinion.
That's my suggestion and there really isn't a gray area in my mind. Like I said earlier- I am more than happy to take my kids in the backcountry, or whitewater rafting, or rock climbing. There is way more to life than drugs and alcohol and that's what I'm here to teach. They will find alcohol (and God forbid drugs) when they are out of the house, and I will have already told them of the pitfalls of abuse.
My point of view has been forged by a childhood dominated by alcohol abusing parents, with my Dad hitting his grave at 63 years of age.
I had a sip of my dads beer when I was like 5. I didn't enjoy beer until later. Like 30 years of age. Then I discovered micro-brews and now I love beer.
But no- that philosophy with kids leads to unexpected consequences. I'd rather take my kids hunting or camping.
My father in law gave dd#2 a sip of beer when she was about 8 months old. She loved it. She'd try to get her dad to give it to her every time he had a beer from then on.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Last year a kid who was drunk fell off her roof. He was only 15, broke his arm. She wasn't sued surprisingly but as she stated, can't get money from someone who has none. The funny thing is she has enough money to provide the neighborhood teens with all those spirits. 
