To All of Those Parents Who Believe They OWN "Their" Children (method, infants)
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I pay for them. I own them. Unfortunately once they are teens, it is kind of hard to sell them to get a return on your investment. Sell them off early. Less investmeent and a better return.
My sentiments exactly !!
I paid for everything. I own them.
It is as simple as that.
I was giving them away for free, no one wanted them
The word own is a poor choice. However as long as they are living under my roof they will live by my rules/values, and when they come of age they will be prepared to move out on their own with their own set of values which they picked up from me. Its quite simple.
I agree that it is a poor choice. However, don't your house rules apply to anybody who enters your home?
The word own is a poor choice. However as long as they are living under my roof they will live by my rules/values, and when they come of age they will be prepared to move out on their own with their own set of values which they picked up from me. Its quite simple.
maybe. maybe not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by crisan
I agree that it is a poor choice. However, don't your house rules apply to anybody who enters your home?
I don't think the OP was talking about minors following rules when s/he started this thread.
However in a perfect world full of love, peace and the environment where this can be fostered independently without any harm coming to our children who are not our children but belong to themselves. lol.
I have yet to hear of such a paradise where children are born, cared for minimally and allowed to explore freely, making their own thoughts and ideas from thin air based on immature feelings and yet do not know right from wrong?
Even those raised in the most basic constructs of society ( I think of indigenous tribes when I think of freedom) there exists a social structure, their is discipline, their is a sharing of ideas as oral story telling is told, there are "parental units" showing children where to roam, where not to roam, what to eat and what not to eat, how to treat others, how to be, what to believe in a way of life so to speak.
The modeling is done in the best interest of the child and should be done with love and empathy, knowledge is shared for a reason, because it has kept generations intact and alive for years.
Character, respect and good will is taught..whether the child readily accepts this truth as their own is their own business WHEN THEY BECOME ADULTS.
I have yet to hear of such a paradise where children are born, cared for minimally and allowed to explore freely, making their own thoughts and ideas from thin air based on immature feelings and yet do not know right from wrong?
Even those raised in the most basic constructs of society ( I think of indigenous tribes when I think of freedom) there exists a social structure, their is discipline, their is a sharing of ideas as oral story telling is told, there are "parental units" showing children where to roam, where not to roam, what to eat and what not to eat, how to treat others, how to be, what to believe in a way of life so to speak.
The modeling is done in the best interest of the child and should be done with love and empathy, knowledge is shared for a reason, because it has kept generations intact and alive for years.
Character, respect and good will is taught..whether the child readily accepts this truth as their own is their own business WHEN THEY BECOME ADULTS.
If you have ever read The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff, you can see a society where children roam and explore freely even though there are dangers.
The first part is that the culture is not child-centered, but babies are carried around until they begin crawling. Those who carry the baby are going about their normal business. They only pay attention to the baby when it needs to nurse, but otherwise they work and play and assume the baby will observe and will be quite happy doing that.
Quote:
Babies need to be in the arms of their mothers, certainly for the first few days, or weeks. Not very long afterwards babies are handed around to others. And everybody loves to take care of babies. Children love to take care of babies. This is a powerful impulse which we recognize by giving them dolls to play with. Small children love to play with dolls and they love to take care of babies. In fact they're extremely good at it. They haven't learned how to do it wrong the way we have. They instinctively do it right.
The next phase is one of exploration and children in this tribe are off with their peers when they begin crawling. Generally there is little *safety* supervision, yet accidents are quite rare. The children follow the adults or older children around and explore while they do that. They learn by observation not from someone *teaching* them.
Quote:
Puppy dogs and kittens don't appear to be falling somewhere on purpose, but they don't fall into the fire do they? They don't fall into the pool do they? We trust puppies and kittens not to burn themselves up in fires but we don't trust our own children.
We pride ourselves on being so intelligent and yet we feel that we are the only species whose children are so stupid that they're going to throw themselves into fire, out of windows and into swimming pools.
Last edited by JustJulia; 03-26-2012 at 06:43 AM..
Reason: shortened quote
From the moment my first son was born nearly 20 years ago, I told myself he was NOT MINE but on loan from God. I got to keep him around a short time, do my best raising him well, and preparing him to live in the world. Therefore, I would not live vicariously through my children NOR make their interests and dreams be MINE. There has always been that loving boundary. They grow up to be THEIR OWN people and were never "mine" to begin with.
If you have ever read The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff, you can see a society where children roam and explore freely even though there are dangers.
The first part is that the culture is not child-centered, but babies are carried around until they begin crawling. Those who carry the baby are going about their normal business. They only pay attention to the baby when it needs to nurse, but otherwise they work and play and assume the baby will observe and will be quite happy doing that.
The next phase is one of exploration and children in this tribe are off with their peers when they begin crawling. Generally there is little *safety* supervision, yet accidents are quite rare. The children follow the adults or older children around and explore while they do that. They learn by observation not from someone *teaching* them.
I don't buy this I have a class of preschoolers and believe me there are children who do not instinctively know not to run in the road, jump in a hole, etc. Try raising your child assuming they will just know to stay away from dangerous situations and you'll end up being investigated for neglect when something does happen.
The word own is a poor choice. However as long as they are living under my roof they will live by my rules/values, and when they come of age they will be prepared to move out on their own with their own set of values which they picked up from me. Its quite simple.
No they will have their own values that you might or might not of influenced is really more the case
I don't buy this I have a class of preschoolers and believe me there are children who do not instinctively know not to run in the road, jump in a hole, etc. Try raising your child assuming they will just know to stay away from dangerous situations and you'll end up being investigated for neglect when something does happen.
The reason for this in the US is because we are *child-centered* and don't bring up our children to listen to their instincts.
You need the in-arms phase first (try the attachment parenting ideas, but without being child-centered). Infants in this culture are carried around while adults go about their business as normal. The infants observe. Once they are crawling, they are allowed to explore, but there are also adults and older children around them.
Magda Gerber was one child care provider whose methods have been shown to be positive in this regard. I can't find the video I really want to show that has an infant disentangling himself from under a table or chair with no physical help at all from the adults around him, but here is one video that shows what infants can do *if* we let them do it.
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