how do you tell your kids what to do to a bully?

[nightcrawler]

Originally Posted by gimme it

Fortunately, so far my daughter hasn't been bullied, but there was one incident when she was younger where a boy was doing some mean things to her, because she rejected him as a friend. He once asked her if she wanted a tatoo, and when she said no, he wrote on her arm with a pen. He also once took her head and banged it into another girl's head when they were sitting next to each other. I spoke to him after school and told him to stay away from her. If he didn't I would call his mom. He never bothered her again. At that time, I had told my daughter that if any one were ever to hit her to hit back. My husband disagreed and told her that wasn't the answer and to tell a teacher. My goody two shoes dd told me that she couldn't hit anyone, because she didn't want to get in trouble. Times have certainly changed!! My feeling is that there are just some kids who need to know that you won't take any crap. Luckily, we haven't had any incidents. My daughter has no concept of what hititng back or fightiing is, which is good...I guess.I was being a mama bear and not politically correct.

Exactly, maybe it is a NY thing....


but I agree with you.

[no kudzu]

If my children were in danger of being bullied I would enroll them in some sort of martial arts program to not only teach them physical skills to defend themselves but also the psychological edge of self esteem over the bully.

I have girls now and there have been no issues of bullying at school however something did happen in the neighborhood. a smallish boy was being tormented by his older sister in front of the neighborhood kids. He got so frustrated and angry that he lashed out at my smallish daughter who just happened to be standing close to him. In other words the closest thing he could kick. I heard the complete details from two older teens who witnessed the whole thing.

After I comforted by daughter who had a big knot on her shin I walked down the street until I saw the offender and I called him to me. He was very hesitant but eventually did and kept his eyes down while i started talking to him. I bent over to him and in a strong but non threatening voice I told him "Look someone in the eye when you are talking to them." Then I told him if he ever laid a hand on my daughter again he would personally have to deal with me and I would include his parents in the discussion as well. I asked him if that is what he wanted and of course he said no. Never had another problem with him and all the kids play well together except this older sister who I learned was a big bully to her little brother.

Personally I would never tell my girls to hit another child but to find an adult to get involved.

[hueyeats]

If a bully messes with my kid...
(My child will warn the bully first of course what I'd do... "lawfully" of course).