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I was grabbing an application from my daughter's desk the other day, and while I was there I found what I think was a suicide note. It was certainly in that format with that theme but never directly said it was. She's been acting a little off for a few weeks- moody, depressed, etc. When I confronted her about her mood lately (not the note), she said it was nothing, just a lot of work at school. I'm really concerned now. Should I talk to her? Should I get a counselor involved? I don't want it to seem like I was going through her stuff because couldn't that cause trust issues?
I was grabbing an application from my daughter's desk the other day, and while I was there I found what I think was a suicide note. It was certainly in that format with that theme but never directly said it was. She's been acting a little off for a few weeks- moody, depressed, etc. When I confronted her about her mood lately (not the note), she said it was nothing, just a lot of work at school. I'm really concerned now. Should I talk to her? Should I get a counselor involved? I don't want it to seem like I was going through her stuff because couldn't that cause trust issues?
It might depend on her age to some extent, some kids might hear about suicide on television or at school, and are imagining -- there can be kids who would never actually do it but think how sad they'd make their parents if they punished them with suicide. She might just have wrote that note to see what she would write.
However I think suicide is a serious issue that even if it's just some drama-queen thing, you need to take it seriously.
The fact that she left the note where you could see it may just be a cry for help. Is school too much pressure for her? Does she understand that you love her whether or not she does well in school? Would you accept her if she is a C student or if she's in college if she drops out?
I believe it's very important that kids know their parents will support whatever direction they wish to take, college or otherwise.
The fact that she left the note where you could see it may just be a cry for help. Is school too much pressure for her? Does she understand that you love her whether or not she does well in school? Would you accept her if she is a C student or if she's in college if she drops out?
I believe it's very important that kids know their parents will support whatever direction they wish to take, college or otherwise.
She still has very high grades though (all are high A's), and she's never been the type to study/do assignments, so I feel like there's something else going on whether it's bullying or other sources of pressure.
She's currently on a retreat with her school, so when she gets back, I'll talk to her. I just don't want to push her further towards anything if she's already close to the tipping point.
How about take her out to lunch or a mani-pedi spa day. Just make it something special and just see if she will open up to you on her own accord. Or just leave a simple note for her telling her you hope she had a great time on her retreat and that you just wanted to say that you love her
She still has very high grades though (all are high A's), and she's never been the type to study/do assignments, so I feel like there's something else going on whether it's bullying or other sources of pressure.
She's currently on a retreat with her school, so when she gets back, I'll talk to her. I just don't want to push her further towards anything if she's already close to the tipping point.
You could just ask how she likes school, and ask how things are - besides grades.
I don't know if you should tell her you found the note or not, you may have a better feel for that, if she thinks you invaded her privacy it could put up a barrier.
I think sometimes there are a lot of pressures, kids can fear the future. They fear it because they don't know how they'll do, how they'll fit in. Lots of changes in their lives. Plus sometimes they're going through heartbreak, feeling rejection, growing away from childhood friends and not getting new ones to fill the void.
The mood changes may indicate an unhappiness, straight A's don't mean the child is happy and sometimes they pressure themselves quite a lot to get them even if parents don't.
Please, don't ignore the letter. Go to her school counsler, Pastor...ask them, talk to her teachers.
I second this and do not wait especially with the school year winding down. Talking to her yourself when you don't even know where to start and if she feels you might have been invading her private world? I would not really chance that. If something is going on, the school can check it out.
This kind of thing should not be taken lightly. When she gets back I would start talking with her about how she is feeling about everything from home life to school to boys to her friends. Kids just don't write letters like that out of the blue, there is somehting going on.
Possibly saving your childs life >>>>> causing some trust issues
Get over the trust thing here, you need to take the letter and hand it to your daughter and ask her what the deal is. does she need to talk about whats going on, is she suicidal because of something particular happening, maybe she just needs to unload on you and have someone listen
either way, the minor trust issue it MIGHT cause is nothing compared to the risk your taking by ignoring it. Even asking her teachers and friends about it is still beating arond the bush, why bother? cut to the chase, no bull****
she might be defiant and upset but she will see you care and if there is going to be any way to help her she will allow it to happen if your persistent.
believe me, my parents rummaged through my stuff all the time when i was a kid, finding cigarettes, booze, adult mags, whatever else i was hiding. yeah i was angry at the time, but do i think about it still to this day? no, i dont even care. no long lasting trust issues here
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