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From what I understand and I agree, I dont think the poster you are referencing is talking about the OP. They are talking about the people who say a 4 year old cant even decide that they want for breakfast, much less what kind of party they want. Or the ones saying that children dont get a say. I do find that disrespectful to the children and I tend to think that most people with toddler age children would agree that not only do they know what they want, they usually find creative ways of acquiring it. A 4 year old is a child but not incapable of doing anything.
Ah, I must have missed the post(s) that said that. I'm somewhere in the middle, I suppose. I don't always give my kids a choice. Sometimes it's, "This is what you get for breakfast" or "This is what you're wearing today." Sometimes the younger ones are indecisive and I decide for them. "Decide by the count of three or I get to pick." "Too hard to choose? Okay, let's go with this one."
I did see a couple comments that implied a five-year-old should be so grateful to get a party that it would never occur to her to object to the theme. To that, I say--the girl is five. If you are blessed with a meek and obedient child, what a pleasure that must be. I think most five-year-olds are frank, spontaneous little savages, but they don't stay that way. I confess to having a temper tantrum at my own party when I was six. My parents have a picture of my frowny face (I was sulking about never winning the games), and I missed most of the party. And look how awesome I turned out.
From what I understand and I agree, I dont think the poster you are referencing is talking about the OP. They are talking about the people who say a 4 year old cant even decide that they want for breakfast, much less what kind of party they want. Or the ones saying that children dont get a say. I do find that disrespectful to the children and I tend to think that most people with toddler age children would agree that not only do they know what they want, they usually find creative ways of acquiring it. A 4 year old is a child but not incapable of doing anything.
Thank you.
I was not referring to the OP but to other posters like the one who said you don't even give a 5 year old a choice when it comes to breakfast.
I don't think that's what the poster meant by lack of respect. I think it was the reference to the post where someone said that 4 year olds can't make decisions. Well of course they can't make decisions-their parents never let them try.
Good grief, the lack of respect for young children on this thread is amazing, isn't it?
My son was getting his own breakfast when he was 3 years old (out of some pre-arranged choices discussed with him in advance).
Parents who do not know how to teach their kids how to make good choices only handicap them in the long run.
Even worse are the parents who don't allow their kids to form their own opinions and insist that the parents opinion should be their opinion. We see evidence of such handicapped young adults ALL around us these days. It's disgusting
I agree. One of the basics I've learned is to give 2 or 3 choices to the child when the choice doesn't matter. The child feels they have some control in certain cases, which makes it easier when the parent really does need to make the decision. A 3, 4, or 5 year old should be able to decide between hot and cold cereal, red shirt or blue shirt, and princess party or zoo party.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
I think it's quite a leap from "Jenny likes Disney princesses, so I bet she would love a princess party" to disrespecting children and stifling their desires to the point of handicap. It's not like the dad is dragging his daughter to Joe-Bob's Llama-rama and Pointy Stick Emporium.
It is a leap from the OP, but not a leap from the posts indicating people would never give a 5 year old a choice of any kind. I think that is not only pointless and control-freakish, but counterproductive.
I agree. One of the basics I've learned is to give 2 or 3 choices to the child when the choice doesn't matter. The child feels they have some control in certain cases, which makes it easier when the parent really does need to make the decision. A 3, 4, or 5 year old should be able to decide between hot and cold cereal, red shirt or blue shirt, and princess party or zoo party.
It is a leap from the OP, but not a leap from the posts indicating people would never give a 5 year old a choice of any kind. I think that is not only pointless and control-freakish, but counterproductive.
THANK YOU.
I will add to your list... in addition to being controlling and counterproductive, not allowing your child to learn how to make choices and how to face the consequences of those choices is poor parenting in general.
Like I said, I think that children have so little control over anything in their lives, so why not let them have a little control. It makes for a happier child IMO.
Princess party update: Well, the princess party invites have gone out (despite my granddaughter's protests) and my son has just now discovered that my granddaughter's private school has a policy on parties: You must invite everyone in the class (38 kids, 4 teachers). Apparently it is not OK to invite only half the class or picking and choosing whom to invite. My son had no idea about this; this is the first kids party he's ever thrown where there are classmates to take into account. So now my son has to brace himself for the entire class showing up, which would put the price of the party way over budget.
Clearly my son thought he was putting a lot of thought into this whole party idea,
and clearly he did not put enough thought into it!
Princess party update: Well, the princess party invites have gone out and my son has just now discovered that my granddaughter's private school has a policy on parties: You must invite everyone in the class. Apparently it is not OK to invite only half the class or picking and choosing whom to invite. My son had no idea about this; this is the first kids party he throws where there are classmates to take into account. So now my son has to brace himself for the entire class showing up, which would put the price of the party way over budget.
Clearly my son thought he was putting a lot of thought into this party,
and clearly he did not put enough thought into it!
Thanks for the update! I'd love to know how many actually show up.
Princess party update: Well, the princess party invites have gone out (despite my granddaughter's protests) and my son has just now discovered that my granddaughter's private school has a policy on parties: You must invite everyone in the class (38 kids, 4 teachers). Apparently it is not OK to invite only half the class or picking and choosing whom to invite. My son had no idea about this; this is the first kids party he's ever thrown where there are classmates to take into account. So now my son has to brace himself for the entire class showing up, which would put the price of the party way over budget.
Clearly my son thought he was putting a lot of thought into this whole party idea,
and clearly he did not put enough thought into it!
Princess party update: Well, the princess party invites have gone out (despite my granddaughter's protests) and my son has just now discovered that my granddaughter's private school has a policy on parties: You must invite everyone in the class (38 kids, 4 teachers). Apparently it is not OK to invite only half the class or picking and choosing whom to invite. My son had no idea about this; this is the first kids party he's ever thrown where there are classmates to take into account. So now my son has to brace himself for the entire class showing up, which would put the price of the party way over budget.
Clearly my son thought he was putting a lot of thought into this whole party idea,
and clearly he did not put enough thought into it!
Well, I guess if the invites went out that's that, but I have a hard time believing you can't have a party and invite who you want. I mean, what's to stop someone from doing that? How many people can accomodate 42 people at a party, either physically at home or financially?
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