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The rule actually does make sense if he is planning on having his dd pass out invites in class. That's really not such a good idea, there's bound to be hurt feelings, hence the rule in the first place. But I think if you invited kids by mail, a phone call, e-mail, etc., the school has no say-so on who you invite, and the kids are less likely to be discussing it in front of uninvited children. I do think it's common courtesy not to bring anything to school and pass it out unless you have enough for every child.
I've found that mailed or paper invitations aren't as convienient anyway. No one hardly ever rsvp's anymore, they just show up or don't. For my dd's last birthday, I invited everyone by phone call, Facebook, text, or e-mail. I got a quicker and definite response, and did not have to deal with the whole hassle of invitations. Made things a lot easier.
So if no one RSVPs anymore, how do u get a rough head count to give to the venue of the party????
I honestly do not think the school has any right whatsoever to tell me whom I can or can't invite, whether I send an evite or send my kid with 20 paper invites to school.
When I was little I learned that not everyone is invited to everything. Better that they learn this lesson now than when they are older and it hurts more.
I was wondering whether anyone had ever heard of such a policy. Just when I thought I'd heard everything.......
My son says the policy was explained to him by the teacher when he told her he was going to be distributing invites for a party. The policy states that if the invites are going to be distributed in class that everyone in the class MUST be invited in order to not hurt any feelings or convey a sense of "exclusion."
He did not ask what the "penalty" is for breaking this rule.
Even if he did distribute the invites OUT of class, if he doesn't invite the whole class, he/my granddaughter would likely still feel the heat for it. Don't you think? Once word gets out about the party?
Jeez who knew kids birthday parties had gotten so complicated. Not in my day!
Quote:
Originally Posted by planedition
So Kkat - do you mean to tell me that a lot of parents are distributing invites privately, out of school, now? Wow. I guess I will have to tell my son that this is how it's done now.
That invite policy seems ridiculous to me. And it's def. a new trend. That did not go on in my school days.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carrie2979
I would. Postage is cheaper! Or I would call the Parents of the child invited. So absolutly strange to me. One would think this is a wedding invite! (invite for everyone in the workplace if you so choose to invite coworkers).
I agree this policy makes sense. It's really mean to hand out invites in front of the other kids. You also have the problem of the invite possibly not ever getting to the parent.
This is not new. I don't know as my kids' school had an explicit policy back when they were in preschool (1992 would have been the last year), but it was definitely the 'unwritten policy' both in preschool and elementary school. I agree that postage is cheap, compared to having to invite everyone. First class postage is 44c; you couldn't do an at-home party for that little per person. I agree that e-vites work well, too.
So Kkat - do you mean to tell me that a lot of parents are distributing invites privately, out of school, now? Wow. I guess I will have to tell my son that this is how it's done now.
My son's elementary school doesn't allow invitations to be distributed at school at all. They publish a student directory every year, so people here typically mail them.
I've found that mailed or paper invitations aren't as convienient anyway. No one hardly ever rsvp's anymore, they just show up or don't. For my dd's last birthday, I invited everyone by phone call, Facebook, text, or e-mail. I got a quicker and definite response, and did not have to deal with the whole hassle of invitations. Made things a lot easier.
When I do invitations, I send the old-fashioned kind.
And people respond the old-fashioned way... they RSVP.
Having an accurate head count makes planning WAY easier!
My son's elementary school doesn't allow invitations to be distributed at school at all. They publish a student directory every year, so people here typically mail them.
My kids schools had these kinds of policies dating back to the early 90's - it's nothing new
When you get right down to it, handing out invites to just a select few kids right in front of other kids was downright rude and unnecessarily cruel.
So if no one RSVPs anymore, how do u get a rough head count to give to the venue of the party????
I honestly do not think the school has any right whatsoever to tell me whom I can or can't invite, whether I send an evite or send my kid with 20 paper invites to school.
When I was little I learned that not everyone is invited to everything. Better that they learn this lesson now than when they are older and it hurts more.
They don't have to let you pass anything out at school. They have every right to have rules regarding what is passed out at school.
I honestly do not think the school has any right whatsoever to tell me whom I can or can't invite, whether I send an evite or send my kid with 20 paper invites to school.
The school is not telling you who you can and cannot invite: they are telling you that you cannot hand out invitations in school unless everyone is being invited.
Well the latest update on this party "disaster" is that my son is having a coronary about how many people will show up. Apparently he will be charged by the princess party place if more than XYZ number of people show up to the party. And since he WAS FORCED TO invite the entire pre-k 4 class, it's 40 kids. The class is divided into 3 "sections" each with its own teacher but the sections all intermingle and therefore it's considered 1 class.
Furthermore he is telling me that a lot of people have already RSVP-ed yes, at least 20 people. Now I was told today that b/c the party is Mother's Day weekend, many people who say YES will actually not show up. Which will screw up his head count further.
Needless to say he is regretting not having gone with the cheaper, no hassle ZOO PARTY at this point.
Other issues: Some parents are saying they are bringing siblings, both parents, etc.
By the way, he says he wouldn't have been able to do off-campus evites b/c he doesn't have most of these parents' addresses, phone numbers or email and the school does not give that info. out.
Given the large number of kids now invited, he needs to put his foot down about siblings. He was not "forced" to invite everyone. He should have known the school policy and planned accordingly. It may be a hassle, but there are ways of getting in touch with people. This poor kid is never going to get another birthday party after this. Dad will never want to go through all this again. I hope he uses this as a learning experience and does better next year.
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