Do ALL parents have a sense of entitlement? (day care, baby, support)
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I have no kids, but my brother and sister do. And they are always whining about how they have it worse than everyone else. Please explain this line of thinking to me because I just do not get it.
My brother and sister are constantly complaining that "everybody has an army of relatives/friends helping them with the kids," and they do not. In other words, they are saying that they don't get enough help with child care, shuttling the kids back and forth, when there's an emergency, they have no one to drop everything and take care of their kids, their lives are so tough, I just don't get it, wah wah wah wahhhhhh.
They say that most of their friends have a whole army of (family) helping with this, a vast support system that essentially helps with co-parenting.
Apparently the assistance I do give to them (I take the kids to the parks, attractions, shuttle them occasionally, do uncle-type stuff) is clearly not enough.
In my opinion, parents should be grateful and elated anytime someone offers to do something for their kids/with their kids. They should not have a sense of entitlement or expectation that people are going to drop everything and do things for them just because they decided to have kids.
They are probably jealous of their friends who have family close by to help. You are right, though, that they should be happy to have the help that you offer, and shouldn't rely on others. Of course it is nice to help others, and get help from others, but it should be the exception, not the rule. If they can't shuttle their kids around, maybe they need to drop some activities or adjust their schedules. It is good of you to help out. I wish I had a sibling close by to help!
Just curious OP, why do they not have help? Did the grandparents pass away? Did they move away, or did your sibling move away?
Our parents are deceased, and my brother/sis live away from the immediate families of the in-laws.
It is a very sad day when one realizes that one's siblings are jealous people.
Either they need to stop being jealous, or move close to the in-law families ("the village").
"It takes a village" may be correct, however, not everyone has a village, and when the village is unavailable, it's likely not very productive to sit there and whine about it.
And no, I am not about to take the place of "the village". No one person, or uncle, can be an entire "village."
And by the way, MANY PEOPLE HAVE NO VILLAGE, OR UNCLE, OR ANYTHING!
Our parents are deceased, and my brother/sis live away from the immediate families of the in-laws.
It is a very sad day when one realizes that one's siblings are jealous people.
I dunno, they just make it sound like EVERYONE has this support system, and only they do not. I knew thay couldn't be right.
Either they need to stop being jealous, or move close to the in-law families.
"It takes a village" may be correct, however, not everyone has a village, and when the village is unavailable, it's likely not very productive to sit there and whine about it.
No, not everyone has a village, and complaining about it won't help. I am sorry the grandparents are gone, though. That would be hard.
No. Often it's how they are raised but some just seem to pick up the idea that family members are for using, family is for free services.
What are you talking about? this isn't Europe and day care is expensive as hell. What you call "free services" is something probably most parents have to rely on it or there's only one paycheck coming in.Poverty rates are at a record high.. safe to say many will need the second paycheck. And if you have family members who can jump in every now and then.. why not? That's what I call common sense. And why is the OP even calling it "entitlement" ? Raising kids isn't easy and you will gladly accept any help you can get. It's your family. Of course people "expect" you might help out every now and then. That's why it is called family and not random strangers. I would be more than happy to help and would certainly not call it "entitlement".
It's not really entitlement, per se. "It takes a village" - sounds like you just don't feel appreciated.
I think it is a sense of entitlement. In good families there is a give and take, one family may care for the kids of the other and the favor is returned. To expect free babysitting and chauffer services of childless family members and nothing in exchange is just using them. From what the OP wrote, it seems that there isn't any trade-offs, just an expectation of getting something for nothing.
What are you talking about? this isn't Europe and day care is expensive as hell. What you call "free services" is something probably most parents have to rely on it or there's only one paycheck coming in.Poverty rates are at a record high.. safe to say many will need the second paycheck. And if you have family members who can jump in every now and then.. why not? That's what I call common sense. And why is the OP even calling it "entitlement" ? Raising kids isn't easy and you will gladly accept any help you can get. It's your family. Of course people "expect" you might help out every now and then. That's why it is called family and not random strangers. I would be more than happy to help and would certainly not call it "entitlement".
And the single or childless members of the family don't have to work or need their own free time?
If you happen to have some family members that don't have to work and enjoy babysitting -- fine -- but why would anyone expect that? And yes it's free services unless the family members are compensated in some way for their time.
I can not imagine using my family members to raise my kids for me. Or to use the excuse that I went and had a bunch of kids that I could not afford and so now expect relatives to sacrifice for my mistakes.
What are you talking about? this isn't Europe and day care is expensive as hell. What you call "free services" is something probably most parents have to rely on it or there's only one paycheck coming in.Poverty rates are at a record high.. safe to say many will need the second paycheck. And if you have family members who can jump in every now and then.. why not? That's what I call common sense. And why is the OP even calling it "entitlement" ? Raising kids isn't easy and you will gladly accept any help you can get. It's your family. Of course people "expect" you might help out every now and then. That's why it is called family and not random strangers. I would be more than happy to help and would certainly not call it "entitlement".
Every now and then is fine. Expecting help from people on a regular basis is not.
gladly accepting help is one thing. Expecting it, and complaining about it is another.
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And if you have family members who can jump in every now and then.. why not? That's what I call common sense. And why is the OP even calling it "entitlement" ? Raising kids isn't easy and you will gladly accept any help you can get. It's your family. Of course people "expect" you might help out every now and then. That's why it is called family and not random strangers. I would be more than happy to help and would certainly not call it "entitlement".
