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Old 04-16-2012, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,056,304 times
Reputation: 51113

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Perhaps a visual reminder of when he can come over would be helpful for him and his mom. For example, if you decide he can come at 7:30 or 7:40 to walk to school with your son then make a paper clock that shows that time for the neighbor and do not answer the door (or allow your son to answer the door) before that time. Also, make a clock showing when he can play "after school" . It will take will power on your part. Do not give in as it will make it harder in the long run.

Also, DON'T feed him meals. I know it hurts but if he really doesn't have food at his house perhaps he is better off living with other parents/foster parents. I'm sure if his mom doesn't have food to eat she does something to get food to feed herself.

It's a tough situation. Hopefully the school can refer him to CPS or call the police so you can stay out of the situation.

If CPS can be called by the school it would be better because sometimes there is violence toward the "good samaritan" who was only trying to help the child.
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Old 04-16-2012, 11:59 AM
 
Location: Pit of filth
410 posts, read 1,519,873 times
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Long story short...I feel bad for the kid. I have always had a soft spot for kids whose parent couldn't care less about them. Even when I was a kid everyone knew that I would be their friend.

CPS does have an open case on this family and they have lost section 8 housing eligibility due to the mother's choices. the child says that his grandmother is the only one who ever cared about him. He lived with her until last summer. He has been in and out of foster homes most of his life. He acts the way he does because he has been left to raise himself.

I just don't like him thinking this is his home. We dealt with things like this every year my son has been in school. He is just so nice that he attracts a lot of people that need attention. My son knows what is going on in their house and tells the teacher as well.
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:04 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,056,304 times
Reputation: 51113
I know that you feel sorry for him but YOUR SON and YOUR FAMILY comes first.
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:08 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,099,791 times
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then maybe it is time to call CPS. If he has an open file, hopefully someone will investigate and maybe send him back to his grandma's. I know you feel sorry for him. I would too. There is only so much you can do.
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:18 PM
 
452 posts, read 896,430 times
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Are you upset that the mom is getting a free babysitter? I would be. Are the boys playing together great? This is infringing on your time with your son but is he learning a life lesson from what he is seeing? He is seeing his mom compassionate about someone other than family you are giving a life lesson to your son. You are also helping out a child that needs some stability in his life. It sounds like the teachers and CPS are at wits end with the mother and I commend you for what you are doing. I know you need a break and there is a mother out there that is not taking responsiblity for a child she brought into this life and hopefully the child will forgive her one of these days so will higher ups but in the meantime you are giving this child something he needs in his life. I give you two thumbs up for doing this and you will be rewarded one day. I hope your son is not feeling neglected and it is giving your son social interaction with someone less fortunate. Good Luck!!!!! I do not envy your position but I know you are helping a helpless child that did not wish this life upon himself.
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Old 04-16-2012, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Pit of filth
410 posts, read 1,519,873 times
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His mother is not home again! This is really getting on my nerves. She is probably out "getting lost" again since she just got approved for an emergency section 8 placement. How to say "I am not your freaking babysitter" and not come across wrong. She told he son that he would get in trouble if he went to the apartment office again if she wasn't home when he got home. I think this is why some people should not be parents.
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Old 04-16-2012, 03:31 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,099,791 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by operaphantom2003 View Post
His mother is not home again! This is really getting on my nerves. She is probably out "getting lost" again since she just got approved for an emergency section 8 placement. How to say "I am not your freaking babysitter" and not come across wrong. She told he son that he would get in trouble if he went to the apartment office again if she wasn't home when he got home. I think this is why some people should not be parents.
There is no "coming across wrong!" you are not her freaking babysitter! You need to put a stop to this. Either stop everything, or set up specific boundaries. At this point I don't see how you can even agree to walk him home since no one is ever home when you get there. What would the school do if you don't pick him up? Our school would take him to the office, call the parents, then probably call the police if no one came for him.

Can you contact the school, tell them what has been going on, and tell the school you can't take him anymore. the school is in a better position to deal with this than you are. They have policies and procedures in place to deal with this kind of thing.
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Old 04-16-2012, 04:07 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,157,398 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by operaphantom2003 View Post
His mother is not home again! This is really getting on my nerves. She is probably out "getting lost" again since she just got approved for an emergency section 8 placement. How to say "I am not your freaking babysitter" and not come across wrong. She told he son that he would get in trouble if he went to the apartment office again if she wasn't home when he got home. I think this is why some people should not be parents.
You just say it.
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Old 04-16-2012, 04:08 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,622,264 times
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I agree with Kibbie.
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Old 04-16-2012, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,056,304 times
Reputation: 51113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
There is no "coming across wrong!" you are not her freaking babysitter! You need to put a stop to this. Either stop everything, or set up specific boundaries. At this point I don't see how you can even agree to walk him home since no one is ever home when you get there. What would the school do if you don't pick him up? Our school would take him to the office, call the parents, then probably call the police if no one came for him.

Can you contact the school, tell them what has been going on, and tell the school you can't take him anymore. the school is in a better position to deal with this than you are. They have policies and procedures in place to deal with this kind of thing.

I agree. Let us know when the mom finally gets home. We are rooting for you!
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