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Honestly, where do children learn about morality if not from those who are older and wiser than they are? How does a "thinking person" figure this out independently, starting in childhood? I can see having a set of basic principles and using logic to draw conclusions based on them, but an older child is only beginning to develop the ability to do that, and even with mature reasoning skills, one would have to learn at least those first principles. And even teens' brains haven't developed fully.
I doubt we'd be arguing about the need for children to learn from their parents on any other subject, from how US currency works to how to cross the street. How can parents teach their children anything if they are not acknowledged as authorities?
Of course children need to learn from their parents. Parents act as "guides" creating daily opportunities for their child to succeed in everyday and challenging settings, increase flexibility and problem solving, understand social communication, deal with unpredictable change, and develop real relationships. Much of this has been charted in RDI (Relationship Developmental Intervention) to help those of us with autistic children to get the trust and relationship back to what is normal in typically developing children. Children learn because they have a *master-apprenctice* relationship with their parents.
If you look at how infants and toddlers develop, they generally look to their parents to see what they should be doing. They test the boundaries, but they are looking for guidance.
This part from the third page of the article is particularly important in my view
Quote:
Be a Person, Not a God. Try to present yourself as a real person to your child. Share with your child real thoughts, feelings, and ideas. Feel free to make mistakes and also to follow up with sincere apologies. With this attitude, you will be showing your child important respect. Besides expressing yourself, seek your child's thoughts, feelings, and ideas as much as possible.
Im a spanker and i'm not compromising with a child when they are misbehaving and yes ive swatted a hand or bottom in public and id do it again.
See, it reflects the personality of the spanker, not the actions of the deserving child.
It's pretty clear that there are other methods of discipline, it's just a fact that given the choice, which we do in America, some parents will choose to use Corporal Punishment. It's a choice, they use it because it reflects who they are, dominant by physical force.
The same people will usually pick that course of action in many other situations as well. Nothing you can do about it with reason, you either out law it or you don't. Reasoning isn't part of the equation here, IMO. I think this is clear by the third or fourth page of the thread, isn't it?
Some people lack the ability to control physical urges. They need something that dominates them, like the law, to enforce the change. So, it comes down to , I'd smack her but I'll end up in jail if I do. Or, I'll smack her at my house and take my chances. It's not about knowing other methods or if they work.
1/2 of us on this thread have children, some that have reached adulthood with no physical punishment, they are well behaved adults. It doesn't matter, it's the adults personality, not the kids. IMO, of course. This explains why some parents can't fathom spanking or smacking their kids, it's not who they are. They wouldn't solve anything physically.
I guarantee, Snooki will be a spanker. lol Have you seen her Jersey Shore bar brawls. Pretty impressive.
Last edited by PoppySead; 04-19-2012 at 11:55 PM..
Honestly, where do children learn about morality if not from those who are older and wiser than they are? How does a "thinking person" figure this out independently, starting in childhood? I can see having a set of basic principles and using logic to draw conclusions based on them, but an older child is only beginning to develop the ability to do that, and even with mature reasoning skills, one would have to learn at least those first principles. And even teens' brains haven't developed fully.
I doubt we'd be arguing about the need for children to learn from their parents on any other subject, from how US currency works to how to cross the street. How can parents teach their children anything if they are not acknowledged as authorities?
I actually don't believe morality is objective. We are designed to be 'moral' because we are social animals. Both the desire to follow authority and the desire to force others to follow authority stem from this. We can't survive as a society without certain morals like 'do unto others'
But if we are speaking of morality, what does spanking a child teach them about morality?
I actually don't believe morality is objective. We are designed to be 'moral' because we are social animals. Both the desire to follow authority and the desire to force others to follow authority stem from this. We can't survive as a society without certain morals like 'do unto others'
But if we are speaking of morality, what does spanking a child teach them about morality?
It wont let me mulitquote my phone is acting funny.
A pop to the face ANYWHERE is demeaning, it IS hurtful, and most importantly its scarring.
That was imo my moms favorite thing to do when I was growing up, was to pop me in the face even in my teenage years. She loved to corner me in the car and yell about whatever she was angry about and if i simply said something she didnt want to hear she'd pop me in the face.
Now if i ride in the same car as my mom and she makes any sudden arm movements im up against the door.
She also used to slosh drinks im my face, ever have wine thrown in your eyes.
you can bet your ass its affected me as an adult, im super sensitive when it comes to people touching my face, i pull away.
Dont ****ing kid yourself. It DOES affect them.
If what you are describing was in fact what happened, your mother was not disciplining you, she was abusing you.
If what you are describing was in fact what happened, your mother was not disciplining you, she was abusing you.
I dont think she will ever understand. smh.
I just dont understand some people here how do you equate a pop in the mouth to a man hitting a woman or throwing alcohol in a childs eyes?? Get help people seriously.
I just dont understand some people here how do you equate a pop in the mouth to a man hitting a woman or throwing alcohol in a childs eyes?? Get help people seriously.
What the heck is a "pop in the mouth"? Seriously, I don't even know what that entails.
Do you hit a kid across the lower face? Punch them in the kisser? What does that even mean?
What the heck is a "pop in the mouth"? Seriously, I don't even know what that entails.
Do you hit a kid across the lower face? Punch them in the kisser? What does that even mean?
Yeah you punch them in the kisser
what do you think it sounds like? Use common sense. You either do a sort of flick with your finger or just a pop (using the pointer middle and ring finger) to the mouth.
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and i'm not compromising with a child when they are misbehaving and yes ive swatted a hand or bottom in public and id do it again.
It teaches the child that the parent is irrational, IMO. You can't rationally teach a child not to hit others by hitting them.
