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My teen has always been one of the "smart kids". She loves to learn above everything else. Our local public schools have not been kind to her.
She just finds everything "too easy" and complains that the students "don't care and always hold me back". Now, at 15, we finally switched her to an online school. She brought it up (she wrote a four-page essay). We didn't think there would be any problems.
But there are. She still thinks it's too easy and boring. She says that now she just has more busy work. She still likes it more than her old school, but that doesn't say much. She's bringing up boarding school, mentioning that I said we'd look into it for high school. But when I said that (and I now know that I shouldn't have ), she was 10. She made me a PowerPoint about the whole thing, and I couldn't just crush her. I thought she'd forget about it; she was only 10 and couldn't have been that serious about it. There was just no way I was going to allow that.
She hasn't yet asked to actually attend one, but she's been mentioning it an awful lot these past few days. She specifically chose virtual school because she knew that we wouldn't allow her to do anything else (no good privates in the area), but now after the first few months she's bringing it up again. What am I supposed to do about this? She can't just keep switching schools whenever she feels like it, and she already knows I don't want to just up and send her away to another state for boarding school! However, I don't want to just not discuss it. I know that she's not being completely challenged, and that the large amount of higher level classes at a more elite school would be fun for her, so I kind of feel bad if I don't even think about it just because I want to keep her here with me.
You tell her that busy work is part of life and patience and perseverance are important lessons to learn.
If she's taking school online, can't she move through the coursework more quickly and graduate sooner? If she graduates a year or two early then she can move on to college courses where she can choose her studies.
She's taken all honors/advanced classes her entire life, but they're not really advanced in the sense that the work requires more thinking. It's just a regular class + more reading. She always does well in them.
She is involved with extracurriculars, but they're things she's come up with on her own that she can easily continue no matter what school she goes to, so I cant say anything about that. (I swear she plans these things!) comes up with her own extracurriculars (writing, crafting, etc.).
And yes, she has friends. Haha. However, because she's always had trouble relating to her peers (they just didn't understand why she'd watch documentaries for fun! ), she has very few. She talks to them regularly on the phone and online.
Edit: She can't graduate early. We asked her counselor about that, and she said that if a student finishes a class, they just have to wait until the next year to start a new one and to "enjoy their extended summer".
As for the first thing...believe me I've tried! But she just says she's not getting the education she needs to "foster her passion for learning".
Can she take classes at the local junior college for dual credit? That way she can get something more advanced.
What are her specific interests in terms of academics. It may be that English and Social Studies are easy, but math and science would be more challenging or the other way around.
Since she has trouble with friendships, have you had her tested for asperger's syndrome? She might benefit from social skills classes designed for apsies and she might find some aspie friends who do understand why she watches documentaries for fun.
Does she get any physical activity? She may need a sport - it can be individual, like running or swimming or it might be that a team sport would allow her to relate to her peers more. Or if she likes music, perhaps band or chorus would be an option?
You might want to look into the Davidson Gifted Program (or if there is a university with a gifted and talented search near you, that might do as well).
I know you think she's too young to go out of state to a boarding school, but is she really? It sounds to me as though she is so gifted that you are holding her back and that she is a lot more mature than you are giving her credit for. Please check into some other schools for her and don't automatically rule out boarding school, but also realize that not all boarding schools cater to the gifted; some deal with behavior problems.
I wish my parents hadn't ruled out boarding school for me. We discussed it and I was accepted to a very good one about 1 hour from home but my parents nixed it saying I was already in the gifted program in my high school.
My only concern with boarding school would be that eventually she would grow bored there as well and call home asking to go somewhere else... My oldest daughter took High School online as well and it was NOT all it was cracked up to be... I should have left her in public school... or perhaps sent her to boarding school.. I wouldn't rule out boarding school if its feasible just make sure she understands that she can't simply keep jumping around to different schools..
Can she take classes at the local junior college for dual credit? That way she can get something more advanced.
What are her specific interests in terms of academics. It may be that English and Social Studies are easy, but math and science would be more challenging or the other way around.
Since she has trouble with friendships, have you had her tested for asperger's syndrome? She might benefit from social skills classes designed for apsies and she might find some aspie friends who do understand why she watches documentaries for fun.
Does she get any physical activity? She may need a sport - it can be individual, like running or swimming or it might be that a team sport would allow her to relate to her peers more. Or if she likes music, perhaps band or chorus would be an option?
You might want to look into the Davidson Gifted Program (or if there is a university with a gifted and talented search near you, that might do as well).
She considered that, but she (and I) would like to leave it as a last resort. If she's still at her school and has exhausted all of the AP classes. Our local CC is known for being quite sub-par (and not just by the people who think all CCs are sub-par.)
She's more STEM-oriented, but she's also a writer and reads about a large variety of topics in her free time. I think she's just interested in knowing more about things just to know more about them. As for sports, she's never been too athletic (but she's been getting into soccer lately...so maybe there's something!)
She doesn't really have trouble making friends. However, she tends to limit her friends to people who are on her level. One of her favorite things to do is talk (), but unless she's very close to someone (and thus just enjoys being in their company) or just getting to know them ('cause she, well, is getting to know them) it has to be about something that can be analyzed, and discussed; she rips things apart. I can see how she might not get on with a lot of her classmates.
I'll be looking into those!
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie
I know you think she's too young to go out of state to a boarding school, but is she really? It sounds to me as though she is so gifted that you are holding her back and that she is a lot more mature than you are giving her credit for. Please check into some other schools for her and don't automatically rule out boarding school, but also realize that not all boarding schools cater to the gifted; some deal with behavior problems.
I wish my parents hadn't ruled out boarding school for me. We discussed it and I was accepted to a very good one about 1 hour from home but my parents nixed it saying I was already in the gifted program in my high school.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mco65
My only concern with boarding school would be that eventually she would grow bored there as well and call home asking to go somewhere else... My oldest daughter took High School online as well and it was NOT all it was cracked up to be... I should have left her in public school... or perhaps sent her to boarding school.. I wouldn't rule out boarding school if its feasible just make sure she understands that she can't simply keep jumping around to different schools..
Aaaaah. I just feel like I'd be getting rid of her. Why can't she just wait for college?! She can leave then if she wants! I want her here!
Are you sure that there are not other social issues that are real source of the problem?
If academics are truly the soure oc the problem, then you need to talk to a counselor about taking on a bigger course load, accelerating through the school system, taking her GED, or getting into local college-level courses. Switching schools often is not the solution.
The other option is to remind her that sometimes you need to follow the path that is laid out in front of you and reap the rewards later. Maybe she needs the stimulus of a job, or internship in her area of interest.
My teen has always been one of the "smart kids". She loves to learn above everything else. Our local public schools have not been kind to her.
She just finds everything "too easy" and complains that the students "don't care and always hold me back". Now, at 15, we finally switched her to an online school. She brought it up (she wrote a four-page essay). We didn't think there would be any problems.
But there are. She still thinks it's too easy and boring. She says that now she just has more busy work. She still likes it more than her old school, but that doesn't say much. She's bringing up boarding school, mentioning that I said we'd look into it for high school. But when I said that (and I now know that I shouldn't have ), she was 10. She made me a PowerPoint about the whole thing, and I couldn't just crush her. I thought she'd forget about it; she was only 10 and couldn't have been that serious about it. There was just no way I was going to allow that.
She hasn't yet asked to actually attend one, but she's been mentioning it an awful lot these past few days. She specifically chose virtual school because she knew that we wouldn't allow her to do anything else (no good privates in the area), but now after the first few months she's bringing it up again. What am I supposed to do about this? She can't just keep switching schools whenever she feels like it, and she already knows I don't want to just up and send her away to another state for boarding school! However, I don't want to just not discuss it. I know that she's not being completely challenged, and that the large amount of higher level classes at a more elite school would be fun for her, so I kind of feel bad if I don't even think about it just because I want to keep her here with me.
The high school that my children attended had numerous AP classes, in addition many students took classes at one of the Universities in our metro area. These AP and University classes were taken by the "smart kids". Many of these "smart kids" had hobbies or interests outside of school so that they were never bored.
Now, the "SMART KIDS" did other things as well. One friend of my daughter decided to learn Italian for fun (she already knew Spanish & French) then decided to learn Swedish for fun. She became quite fluent in both new languages. Another friend started designing and selling clothes. This became a very satifying and lucrative past-time for her.
A friend of my son started doing some type of independent scientific research and I believe it was even published in a scientific journal. Another friend designed and created web sites that were better than most adults in the computer business could design. My son turned our basement into a place where he could work on inventions and experiments with chemicals.
A few of the SMART KIDS were almost full time college students but stayed at the high school for a few hours a day so that they could participate in HS sports, plays, band or other activities.
These are just examples of kids who "followed their dreams" when school was just not enough to keep them busy and interested. See if your daughter has a dream that she wants to pursue in addition to HS. Maybe that is what she needs, not a switch to a different school.
Perhaps you should see if your daughter is a Smart Kid (above average intelligence and above average work habits & determination) or a SMART KID (gifted intelligence or well above average work habits & determination or both). A psychologist can give an individual IQ test plus tests for strengths and weaknesses and for overall interests. This will help you decide what will be the best plan to dicuss eith your daughter.
Perhaps taking college classes on line or ordering college level lectures through a Great Courses or Classics program will keep her stimulated. Even if the local Community College is subpar the course level probably would still be above her HS classes and the credits should transfer to most Universities. Another idea is finding an adult mentor and doing a "sort of internship" in a field that she enjoys. Many colleges and even medical schools have weekend or summer programs for high school students. Perhaps your daughter would be content to be "bored" at her virtual high school if she know that she can spend two or three weeks next summer living on a college campus with other high school students interested in learning.
At age 15 my "smart kid" son & daughter didn't have enough hours in the day to do everything that wanted to do and needed to prioritize and drop some activities. If your daughter seeks out additional activities she may run out of hours as well.
Last edited by germaine2626; 04-20-2012 at 04:36 PM..
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), she has very few. She talks to them regularly on the phone and online.
