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My son has progressively gotten worse with lying. It has gotten to the point where I simply cannot believe anything he says. He lies about brushing his teeth, doing homework, everything. I feel like I have tried everything - removed all priviledges, writing lines, even spanking but we are not making any progress at all.
I feel like I need some creative ideas on how to deal with it effectively.
My son has progressively gotten worse with lying. It has gotten to the point where I simply cannot believe anything he says. He lies about brushing his teeth, doing homework, everything. I feel like I have tried everything - removed all priviledges, writing lines, even spanking but we are not making any progress at all.
I feel like I need some creative ideas on how to deal with it effectively.
Have you considered a doctor? Because some people do have compulsions that center around lying. I.E. he might have a form of OCD.
Is he lying to get attention?
I think this is likely a phase he is going through. Having a 9 year old myself I know what you're going through, but I also have a 14 y.o. and a 20 y.o. that I've raised/am raising.
I found that they often lie to get attention. So, for example, if you ask if he brushed his teeth and he says he did, do you ask him to open his mouth and check it? Then if he did not brush them, you can get the toothbrush and brush them yourself. Then tell him while you are brushing that "this is what babies get. Is he a baby? I thought you were a big boy. I don't like it when you don't tell me the truth. How would you like it if I never told you the truth? " Continue by saying that maybe Santa (if he still believes in him) will not bring him anything or promise to bring him something for Christmas but then he won't bring it. Go about your day pointing out how lying, not being truthful hurts.
Praise him when he is honest and truthful. I mean go out of your way with praise.
You need to nip this in the bud now, but I'm warning you, he/she will continue or get worse as the years go by.
If you nip it now, you will have taught him/her a valuable lesson about being honest.
I can't stress enough the over reinforcement of praise when honesty is found.
Good luck.
I am also researching counselors in the area. I love his pediatrician but would like more of a child behaviorist MD as well. I am trying to nip this in the bud and I am also really trying to focus on positive reinforcement but it is so difficult when he lies yet again about what is very often stupid little things.
I think most kids go through the lying phase. If it's all small stuff like tooth brushing, I don't think I'd worry to much about it. They are trying it out, seeing how far they can go, etc. My son did this for a while, also small things, and he is seriously the worlds worst liar on top of it. I praised honesty, and came down hard on lies.
but only you know your child's heart. He is 9 years old. so you should know, does he have a lying heart? if so your plan to get a behavioral MD is a good one. There may be other things going on. If not, then maybe a heart to heart talk will work - with little reminders when needed.
I think you might want a behavioral PhD rather than MD. In general, psychiatrists (the MDs) prescribe meds; the psychologists (PhDs) use behavioral talk therapy to help with issues.
We caught our 8 year old in a big lie. For the initial infraction, we removed privileges for 2 weeks. We tacked on an additional 2 weeks for the lie, and explained that to him.
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