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Surrogate parenting seems a lot less complicated to me. You pay for the service, the surrogate mother's medical expenses, she hands the baby over and goes on with her life. No baby mama drama, and the child is all yours to raise.
Surrogate parenting seems a lot less complicated to me. You pay for the service, the surrogate mother's medical expenses, she hands the baby over and goes on with her life. No baby mama drama, and the child is all yours to raise.
Thanks! I found an informative link that was helpful and seems to indicate others older single men looking for the same life experience. Now I just gotta find an egg donor...
Another vote for surrogacy. There are a million and one ways your proposed arrangement could turn into a nightmare for you, the woman and the child. I'm sympathetic to your wanting to be a father and don't necessarily think your too old. But just go the surrogate route.
And one more thing--being a parent is waaaaay more than "a life experience." You sound a bit unrealistic and selfish to me. Think carefully before you proceed.
Including a much higher percentage of families with autistic children and those with Down's syndrome due to the older ages of dads and moms who just "HAD" to have their own biological child
This is just anecdotal, but I worked with toddlers on the spectrum. During the time, I worked with many, many families. I can't think of one who had a mom in her 40s or dad in his 40s or 50 when they had their child. What I did notice is that many of these children had at least one parent who might have been diagnosed as having Aspergers if they were making that diagnosis back in the day. Or one of the parents had serious social issues or OCD or something similar. This is a relatively small sample, but it was what I noticed.
Thanks for taking the time to write this, your points are well taken. At 55, I plan on being retired with nothing else to do but travel, enjoys my time with friends and family, along with commiting my time and energy to a son or daughter if it works out. And I appreciate the concern for them caring me for later in life. I now care for my 80yo mom and everyday and moment with her is precious and I treasure. Me having a child would also bring much happiness to her also
When your future child starts kindergarten, your freedom to travel becomes limited. You must go during school holidays. Schools frown upon you taking your child out for travelling.
OP should also spend some thinking about how the dynamic of money plays into this. If he is paying a woman to be a coparent, what happens when parenting decisions need to be made? Where to live, whether to vaccinate, school choice, dating, discipline... What happens when the inevitable conflict arises?
Does the person who paid get to call the shots? Does his initial investment buy him certain rights and privileges? Extrapolate this out over 18 years of this peculiar family relationship and there is no end to the potential complications. With the child right there in the middle as the winner's trophy.
The fact that he now seems so willing to ditch the coparenting option in favor of 100% single parenting through surrogacy shows he really did not think much beyond the idea of buying breeding stock and assuming he could control her with money and legal threats.
Finding one's happiness and personal fulfilment in this life involves a measure of self-interest, or "selfish" behavior as you call it. But I am very familar with the concept of selflessness, and in caring for others. And just so you know, the biblical story of Abraham and Sarah having a child late in life gives me hope that all will be well.
Genesis Ch. 18: Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” . . . Then the LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.” Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.”
Good grief - now you are reaching
It took a divine miracle from God for Sarah to get pregnant as a senior citizen.
They were lucky their child was born to do such huge pre-determined job or he too might have been born with Down's Syndrome (old mothers eggs) or Autism (old guy sperm) like you are risking your child being born with.
Unbelievable....why don't you just get a de facto again like everybody else?
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