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I just don't understand how anyone-busy or not- can forget a child, especially an infant- in the car. When I worked i worried about my children, pictured them in my mind, etc. How can you not realize you forgot a child in the car?
I agree, how on Earth do you forget a child in the car.????????????
I remember the Mother on Oprah, she was doing all her errands getting donuts for the office staff, parked the car and the kid was dead by the time she came out of work. She said because the routine was different that morning.
No, I don't buy it. Nothing is more important than your children, who could possibly be that pre-occupied that you forget your child in the car................??????????????
Murder, she belonged in jail.
I have a much different view on this than I used to because I've been exposed to it directly through work BUT used to say the same thing as you.
It's more common that you think and it is almost always tied to a major change in routine on top of a stressor. For example, Dad has to pick up child instead of mom at an off time during the day, he leaves work early, gets child, then gets phone call to 'pick this a few things at the store' and then learns there's major problem at work that's occurred while he's been away. Or there's a doctor appt at an off time and mom forgets to drop kiddo off and goes straight to the doctor. Or the family dog has been run over after escaping the backyard and the hot water heather has a leak and someone has to get home early after leaving work unexpectedly and having to pick up said kiddo.
There are dozen scenarios I could name firsthand. But having worked for major pediatric hospital that saw EVERY one of these cases in-state (by law) and testified for nearly each one as well as others in other states, and hearing firsthand from doctors and case workers how beside themselves with grief the parents were and how they described with detail the change in a simple routine during a hot day, well, there were tears in these doctors' eyes and EACH one felt strongly it could happen quite easily, much more easily than the average person would expect, under similar circumstances to those I described, if precautions are not taken. These are PEDIATRIC specialists that deal with all kind of parents nearly every day of their lives, they know parents and family situations, and family unit stessors very well. It was eye opening to hear these accounts about how it really happens, from mostly incredibly loving, smart, well-meaning parents.
It's incredibly tragic on so many levels and makes me sick to my stomach. But it happens, and it happens to GOOD, loving parents. Parents who said it could NEVER happen to them, just like you. Parents who heard of these stories and said to their friends "I can't imagine being so preoccupied I would forget my child was in the backseat."
Either way, precautions should be taken. Purses, wallets and cell phones should be left in the back seat.
Unfortunately I have also had professional exposure to this. It is tragic, and parents never, ever forgive themselves.
The most common scenario is a small baby left sleeping in the car, but that is by no means the only one. A good friend of mine, a person I would call an excellent, and very vigilent mom was working at an event. Her 5 year-old daughter went to fetch something from the car, the mom was very distracted and didn't notice her daughter had not returned. The little girl had locked herself in the car, and absolutely and totally panicked. She curled up in a ball and waited for someone to help her. Many people walked past the car, but no-one knew she was inside. Eventually the mom went looking and found her in the car. It was a mid-summer Atlanta day, and the outcome was fine, but could have been disasterous.
You just never know when this could happen to you or someone you know.
Incredibly simple solution- put your purse, briefcase, phone, thermos, lunch,ANYTHING you normally carry in the backseat with the child. There should be some sort of public awareness campaign about this to keep this tragedy from happening any more. Thanks Idlewile. You win a prize!!!!
Incredibly simple solution- put your purse, briefcase, phone, thermos, lunch,ANYTHING you normally carry in the backseat with the child. There should be some sort of public awareness campaign about this to keep this tragedy from happening any more. Thanks Idlewile. You win a prize!!!!
actually thi is a good idea.
but we all know no one would put their cell phone back there, God forbid they got a call during the drive they would have to answer it.......can you imagine, having to miss a call
Incredibly simple solution- put your purse, briefcase, phone, thermos, lunch,ANYTHING you normally carry in the backseat with the child. There should be some sort of public awareness campaign about this to keep this tragedy from happening any more. Thanks Idlewile. You win a prize!!!!
Well, if there were enough money donated (be it via corporate sponsors or individual donations) to non profit leaders in the safety and well-being of children like Safe Kids USA, who, often times the primary prevention entity to the top pediatric hospitals in the country, there would be an opportunity for a PSA prevention campaign. They do really GREAT things on behalf of kids. Honorable organization.
Having previously lived in Nevada this was a frequent topic of debate on whether parents should be prosecuted if this happens. There are a few states where they can be, but it never happened in Nevada unless a child was left in the car on purpose. There was one case where both parents were in the car and both forgot their baby before going to work. It was never said but I think they must have been in a very intense discussion and/or argument for both of them to have forgotten.
I always thought of it like this - when you put your child in the car pretend it's a million dollars cash. Now will you remember? If you think you won't, put something else 'important' back there to help.
I used to take my cat with me to work several times a week. He rode in the back seat in a carrier, but once we arrived at work I would leave the carrier in the car and take him inside on his leash and harness.
There was a day where I hadn't slept in two nights because I was ill (I get insomnia whenever I get the flu or anything...complete inability to sleep). My mother wasn't doing well and had an emergency doctor's appointment that morning, so I was late to work.
I got out of the car and made it halfway across the front lawn before I realized the cat was still in the car. I cannot describe how far down my stomach dropped. It wasn't a hot day, but still...I can still remember the full body feeling of pure panic just from forgetting him for all of thirty seconds. As a side note, my lunch and wallet were in the backseat as well (so I could pick them up easier with the cat on my shoulder) and I left them too. It was just the perfect storm of exhaustion, illness, and stress...I really shouldn't have been driving that day at all.
I never could understand how this sort of thing could happen before that day, but I have a better idea now.
While I can't imagine forgetting my child in the car, I honestly believe that it happens. I don't know how or why, but it happens to good parents. These people don't have histories of negligence or abuse (as far as I know of). Tragic accidents.
Years ago I read the article below from the Washington Post about this issue. The article is a bit heart-wrenching, and it helps explain how something like this could happen:
This article has stayed with me since the first time I read it. I just re-read it. Lyn Balfour's story is agonizing. I mean they all are, but the re-enactment of finding her son, the retelling of the 911 call and her keening, screaming, heartbroken scream....ugh. No. I don't know how you go on after something like that.
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They do really GREAT things on behalf of kids. Honorable organization.
