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My son has too many toys. Although we have culled them several times, he still has too many in a small space. He plays with toys he had when he was really young in new, creative ways. I can organize them in tubs and drawers by theme and have the place looking perfect. (All tubs, bins, drawers are labelled with words he can read.) Then he'll pull out tons of different types and leave them out. He's a great kid (seven years-old) with well-managed ADHD and this is his main behavioral issue.
I am to the point where I want to wrap the tubs and drawers with long bungee cords and only let him get into them with our help. But we are trying to get him to play more independently and not cling to us so much.
We have tried putting them away in our closet for a week or several weeks when he leaves them out. This doesn't help because he just forgets about them and plays with other toys.
I have ADHD myself so organization is not easy for me either. Any ideas or strategies that have worked? Other than this, he is almost perfect.
Last edited by crankywithakeyboard; 05-14-2012 at 12:21 PM..
Reason: added info
Do you have a rule that he has to put away one type before getting out another? what is the consequence for breaking the rule? Once he gets them all out and leaves them out, what happens? Do you put them away, or do you make him do it?
Do you have a rule that he has to put away one type before getting out another? what is the consequence for breaking the rule? Once he gets them all out and leaves them out, what happens? Do you put them away, or do you make him do it?
I get where you are going with your questions but her son has ADHD which is probably the biggest reason he's making these messes and no amount of rule making and consequences will sink in over night.
OP--I would suggest that remove a large percentage (like 75%) of the toys and put them away in the closet out of sight. Every once in a while rotate the toys, so put away some of the ones he's been playing with and bring out some of the ones that have been living in the closet. This will help keep down the messes since there just less to make a mess with and also create that "new toy" excitement when the forgotten toys resurface.
I also have certain toys that my son knows he can only play with either under supervision or by asking for first currently these are (for us) Lego, Play Doh & puzzles. The reason is these have the most pieces and the most potenial for messes & can be "ruined" if they are not put away correctly. If he wants to play with these he has to ask me first and I don't hand them over until everything else is put away properly, he only allowed to play with these in certain areas of the house (for example I HATE stepping on a stray lego so those are only allowed in the playroom and are off limits in living room, play doh can ruin the finish on my dining room table so it's only allowed on the glass table in the den or on the table in his playroom) inevitably he gets distracted comes back over asking to do something new and I have to remind him to put away the special toys before he can do anything else, sometimes this spurs him to clean it up and sometimes it reminds him how much fun he was having and he heads back the special activity.
I still try to engrain the put away the first toy before taking out the second with every toy and I HOPE one day it sinks in but for now I remind him and remind him and remind and remind him some more. Until the magic day where he cleans up I try to keep the amount of toys he has access to low, make sure there is place for everything, not a complex system you'd find in an organizational magazine, just something easy where there is actually a place he knows something belongs. We do "like with like" and set aside some time at night or every few days to do some clean up.
Clean up can be a real chore since you can't really walk away or they forget but just stand there, Ok grab all the cars and put them in the car bin GO!!! Ok next all the crayons back in the box, GO!! Next alll the super heros back in the bin, GO!! You can also try a check list for a little more independence With pictures of the toys in the order to put them away, so he knows the next step. But breaking it down into steps is critical because telling an ADHDer to "clean up that mess" is way too abstract and will get you no where.
I get where you are going with your questions but her son has ADHD which is probably the biggest reason he's making these messes and no amount of rule making and consequences will sink in over night.
OP--I would suggest that remove a large percentage (like 75%) of the toys and put them away in the closet out of sight. Every once in a while rotate the toys, so put away some of the ones he's been playing with and bring out some of the ones that have been living in the closet. This will help keep down the messes since there just less to make a mess with and also create that "new toy" excitement when the forgotten toys resurface.
I also have certain toys that my son knows he can only play with either under supervision or by asking for first currently these are (for us) Lego, Play Doh & puzzles. The reason is these have the most pieces and the most potenial for messes & can be "ruined" if they are not put away correctly. If he wants to play with these he has to ask me first and I don't hand them over until everything else is put away properly, he only allowed to play with these in certain areas of the house (for example I HATE stepping on a stray lego so those are only allowed in the playroom and are off limits in living room, play doh can ruin the finish on my dining room table so it's only allowed on the glass table in the den or on the table in his playroom) inevitably he gets distracted comes back over asking to do something new and I have to remind him to put away the special toys before he can do anything else, sometimes this spurs him to clean it up and sometimes it reminds him how much fun he was having and he heads back the special activity.
I still try to engrain the put away the first toy before taking out the second with every toy and I HOPE one day it sinks in but for now I remind him and remind him and remind and remind him some more. Until the magic day where he cleans up I try to keep the amount of toys he has access to low, make sure there is place for everything, not a complex system you'd find in an organizational magazine, just something easy where there is actually a place he knows something belongs. We do "like with like" and set aside some time at night or every few days to do some clean up.
Clean up can be a real chore since you can't really walk away or they forget but just stand there, Ok grab all the cars and put them in the car bin GO!!! Ok next all the crayons back in the box, GO!! Next alll the super heros back in the bin, GO!! You can also try a check list for a little more independence With pictures of the toys in the order to put them away, so he knows the next step. But breaking it down into steps is critical because telling an ADHDer to "clean up that mess" is way too abstract and will get you no where.
I get that. But what has the OP tried? That's what I'm asking. It may not sink in over night, but with repetition it eventually will. The OP has labeled bins, but s/he didn't tell us what else has been tried and what hasn't worked.
I have had to stand over my kids and tell them specifically what to pick up and where to put it for literally years. They are finally able to pretty much do it themselves but it took a long time. also, OP if you have too many, you have to many. If you can take them away, and he forgets they exist, then he doesn't need that many. Donate some.
Last edited by Kibbiekat; 05-14-2012 at 02:27 PM..
Rotating bins of toys has helped at our house as well. The less toys available, the better and when the new toys get rotated in it's like Christmas. That said, it still can get very messy very quickly no matter how organized I try to keep things.
Kids didn't have all those toys 50 years ago and they managed just fine!
The best rule is: "If I have to pick it up, it goes in the trash." Do it, and don't buy new ones unless it's a special occasion like a birthday or Christmas.
We have tried putting them away in our closet for a week or several weeks when he leaves them out. This doesn't help because he just forgets about them and plays with other toys.
Then leave them in the closet for a few months and see if they get new again.
Kids didn't have all those toys 50 years ago and they managed just fine!
The best rule is: "If I have to pick it up, it goes in the trash." Do it, and don't buy new ones unless it's a special occasion like a birthday or Christmas.
^^^ I very much agree! Cardboard boxes, pillows, pots & pans, etc. used to make great toys.
I have recently tried to eliminate (slowly) a lot of toys from my home, we have too many and it has gotten crazy!! At our house "If mommy finds it when your in bed(the rule is 'clean it before you leave it') it goes in the donate box, when the box is filled it gets taken, and every now and again my daughter will add something in there herself, saying she doesn't play with it anymore!
Eliminate, eliminate, eliminate. My son (also ADHD) has two small boxes of toys at at time. I keep the rest in the guest room closet. I take out a new box every couple of months and exchange it with an old one.
Also, I learned from my friend with 5 kids and a spotless house...every night BEFORE dinner the playroom/bedrooms need to be cleaned. Anything left out is given away (and I really do it!).
Eliminate, eliminate, eliminate. My son (also ADHD) has two small boxes of toys at at time. I keep the rest in the guest room closet. I take out a new box every couple of months and exchange it with an old one.
Also, I learned from my friend with 5 kids and a spotless house...every night BEFORE dinner the playroom/bedrooms need to be cleaned. Anything left out is given away (and I really do it!).
We do this too. Before a snack and TV every evening, all the toys have to be picked up. the longer it takes, the less TV they get.
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