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Ah, but that's where you're wrong......a vast majority of those very same "highly-educated" folks that you're referring to, have ample money. They pay someone else to do their deeds for them, such as raising their children and teaching them manners. They also have a tendency to medicate their children into compliance....thus contributing to the drug dependency and lack of "coping skills" in our society.
Of course, that DOES ensure that there will always be a demand for therapists, pharmacists, and scientists to figure out why there are so many genetic mutations and new ailments afflicting human beings. Don't forget how many more lawyers will be put to work, going after those drug companies....because those children are screwed up for life, from those mind control drugs we're feeding them....all so we won't have to give them that occasional swat or "flick"!!
DH and I are "highly educated rich" people. We don't pay anybody to do our deeds for us, stay at home WORKING Mom here, heavy on proper manners-yes sir- yes mam. No medications for kids here either for compliance. Gentle reminders of the rules, appropriate discipline, redirected energy and lots of positive reinforcement, plus we have probably 20-30
years more on most people on this parenting forum.
The rest of your rant about gene mutations, mind control drugs, etc is so far removed from the topic of this thread that I have to wonder what you are really talking about.
Physical punishments usually end up making the children fear NOT respect their parents. There is such a huge difference. I am very strong believer and executioner of punishment and discipline when and where they are needed and done it a way which fits the "crime" and will hopefully put seeds of thought and behavior change in the mind of the kid. I am not trying to hurt, shame or belittle or humiliate my children.
It does seem interesting that you thought the bast way to teach this woman a lesson would be to "whack" her to get her attention and then threaten and intimidate her. Do you think this was any different that what she had previously been taught? Do you believe you helped her in some way?
I find that judgement and hypocritical behavior go hand in hand. This thread has been very harsh and of course we all have extreme examples.
For the sake of balancing things a little more I will share what I have done (even though it's sort of scary with all you harsh critics).
I begin flicking (one time on the back of the hand) for my little ones when they are toddlers and only for "no touch" items (electric cords, stoves, or even pulling an older sister's hair when they are strapped into a grocery cart together). I do it regardless of where we are. It hurts just enough to make them find something else to do they don't even cry just make a face. This was simple training and it worked well. Once they are old enough to verbalize back and forth with me about behavior I give one or two swats to the bottom (or upper thigh if their in a cloth diaper). By the time they are 6 spankings are pretty much out of the picture as other consequences can be easily understood.
I also tried flicking myself in the mouth while reading this and it is not the same. I could see getting very resentful about that being done to me.
Let me get this straight since it seems my post is being analyzed here. I wasn't trying to thoughtfully teach this lady a lesson. She isn't my child, I don't hit children or animals, ever, in any way. I hit an adult, I was mad at her. You run that risk when you're hitting babies in public.
I have no problem reacting to an idiot smacking a baby repeatedly in front of me with violence. She is lucky, I felt like doing a lot more than I did.
This was the only time I've interfered with another parent, although I do have fantasies of doing it to others I see but this was extreme to me, I didn't think about it first, I just did it. Since I'm forced to see it, I guess I have to control myself since hitting kids and animals is acceptable but if it's extreme I might blow a "thoughtful" gasket and do something. I probably won't think to long about it either.
I don't equate it with teaching anything. I think you just get upset and that's how you deal with it as a parent. You are a mom who flicks or swats her kids when your upset. That's all it is to me. I don't care what you do unless it crosses a line in front of me, then I will. If you were hitting a dog like that I'd probably have done the same. No lesson intended. That's just the risk you take doing that in public. Some people might not like it, some might respond, you invite it when you hit your kids in public, IMO.
I am not trying to say I was right or wrong about what I did. I don't care to justify my behavior. It ticks me off when anyone hurts the helpless. If you are my size then so be it, I'm not against giving a good pop.
It's not like people who spank their kids keep their mouths shut in public. I've seen plenty yell to other moms in the store or other places to hit or spank that kid so he stops having that fit. No difference. Parents are parents.
I know people are allowed to hit their kids, but I don't have to like it. That's hardly hypocritical. I don't hate it because I feel I'm better, or do a better parenting job than you. It just makes my blood boil to see a grown person hitting a kid or an animal. Is that right of me, hmm, I really don't care if it is or not.
I have no problem reacting to an idiot smacking a baby repeatedly in front of me with violence. She is lucky, I felt like doing a lot more than I did.
This was the only time I've interfered with another parent, although I do have fantasies of doing it to others I see but this was extreme to me, I didn't think about it first, I just did it. Since I'm forced to see it, I guess I have to control myself since hitting kids and animals is acceptable but if it's extreme I might blow a "thoughtful" gasket and do something. I probably won't think to long about it either.
I don't equate it with teaching anything. I think you just get upset and that's how you deal with it as a parent.
Don't say that is how anyone but YOU deal with it as a parent. While I agree that that Mom needed intervention, what you did was nothing short of lashing out in a temper fit. There were better ways to handle the hitter than hitting.
I don't seem to have a post edit option like sometimes. But I want to apologize for how harsh my reply to you was Poppy. You got upset. Stuff happens.
No problem. I understand what you're saying. As I said I can't justify my actions on that one. I lost it, I was really mad and it happened. You were pretty much right, I lashed out. That WAS what I said in my post.
I'm being honest about how I see physical punishment. I'm sure everyone has their idea of why they do it, list of how it's helpful, books on it, etc. etc. I just don't believe it. That is just me, my thoughts, and without a doubt people differ and obviously won't agree with me. I'm ok with that.
When I see a kid getting a flick, I don't think about it being a good tool for discipline. I'm just being honest. I just see an adult hitting a kid. It always brings out a protective feeling in me. I don't usually act on it, but with the baby I just lost it. I admit that to the fullest. So no apology necessary.
I once started a fight with a lady in front of me for repeatedly spanking her 3 month old baby in front of me in a grocery store line. I just had enough so I whacked her on the back and said enough, if she did it again in front of me then she'd have to deal with me again. She stopped and huffed out with her crying baby. I was seriously pissed at her.
Be glad you were not in this area; if something like that would have happened here, you would have been knocked the slick out!
Just because YOU do not agree with the way someone parents their child, does NOT give you the right to lay your hands on them like the Gestapo.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoCUBS1
Decided to google "Flicking Discipline" and this is what came up...
Flick your goat's ear when it behaves aggressively. Goats nip each other's ears when they are annoyed, so ear flicking is something that is easy for the goat to understand. After flicking your goat's ear, walk away from your goat without speaking or making eye contact.
Read more: How to Discipline a Goat | eHow.com
Apparently, ear flicking is a preferred method for disciplining a goat.
Which makes sense since children are referred to as kids (aka named for baby goats).
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppySead
She is lucky, I felt like doing a lot more than I did.
Actually you are the lucky one. Lucky you didn't get knocked up in return at the least, or have an assault charge at the worst.
Be glad you were not in this area; if something like that would have happened here, you would have been knocked the slick out!
Just because YOU do not agree with the way someone parents their child, does NOT give you the right to lay your hands on them like the Gestapo.
Which makes sense since children are referred to as kids (aka named for baby goats).
Actually you are the lucky one. Lucky you didn't get knocked up in return at the least, or have an assault charge at the worst.
Guess I was lucky but I didn't think about it. I only thought about the baby getting popped in it's mouth, over and over for crying to much. I didn't think it through as I stated.
Sounds like you'd been happy if a brawl ensued, if she would have stood up for her parental rights with me. But alas, she was the coward I assumed she was, she only had the guts to hit the baby.
I doubt she would call the police, I'm sure she had plenty to hide. If she did that much in public, I bet what she did in private would have made me hurl.
I doubt I'd be in your area if that kind of crap happens that much there. Yes, I'd be fighting all the time I'm guessing. I'll steer clear of your neck of the woods, no worries.
Crap happens, it happened. Life is a box of chocolates.
Maybe one day I'll be on an episode of "What would you do"
Last edited by PoppySead; 05-17-2012 at 09:52 AM..
Guess I was lucky but I didn't think about it. I only thought about the baby getting popped in it's mouth, over and over for crying to much. I didn't think it through as I stated.
Hitting an 8 month old in the mouth is just mind numbing. That represents such a bizarre lack of control.
Quote:
Sounds like you'd been happy if a brawl ensued, if she would have stood up for her parental rights with me. But alas, she was the coward I assumed she was, she only had the guts to hit the baby.
I doubt she would call the police, I'm sure she had plenty to hide. If she did that much in public, I bet what she did in private would have made me hurl.
If she can lose control like that in public, I am thinking you are right. What kind of loss of control does she permit herself in private.
Hitting an 8 month old in the mouth is just mind numbing. That represents such a bizarre lack of control.
You know, I might not have done it if the baby was that old but it was around 3 months old. Even if I spanked my own kids I wouldn't have understood that one. You are right, she was off from reality and I reacted without thought.
If she can lose control like that in public, I am thinking you are right. What kind of loss of control does she permit herself in private.
That's the thing, she didn't seem to think anyone else would notice or care. Everyone was shocked by her, I am just the only one who reacted physically. I just snapped. I didn't even think about it.
I'm not saying it was right of me, it just happened.
Apparently, ear flicking is a preferred method for disciplining a goat.
LOL too funny. Well then, I suppose I should start nipping at and flicking my children and anyone else who does something I don't like. I mean, we're all animals, right?
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