HELP! 13 year old son had pants pulled down in front of 100's (clever, playing)
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If I were the parent of a child this was done to, I'd demand more than two days. This was a sexual assault. And the school sent the message that you get a slap on the wrist for such assaults. If it was my child, I'd get a lawyer and the school would be paying private school tuition for my child to switch schools.
I feel for this boy going back to that school after his attacker got nothing but a slap on the wrist. I can tell you he'd get a lot more than 2 days for this in the school where I teach. He'd be lucky if they let him back in.
Whether they like it or not, schools are obligated to look for and prevent bullying. This school is wrong by downplaying this incident. Where my kids attend school, this kind of act would NOT be tolerated.
Every school must recognise its extent and impact and take steps to stop it happening. When bullying is ignored or downplayed, pupils will suffer ongoing torment and harassment. It can cause life long damage to victims. Both bullies and those regularly victimised are more likely to become criminals. A school's failure to deal with bullying endangers the safety of all its pupils by allowing a hostile environment to interfere with learning. There is clear, unambiguous evidence that school action can dramatically reduce the incidence of bullying.
What can a school community do about bullying?
Preventing and responding to school bullying is the responsibility of every school administrator, teacher, school staff member, student, and parent. The entire school community must recognize the responsibility to create a climate in which bullying is not tolerated.
It is a given that all children and teens cannot learn in a violent environment, like at a school where they are being harassed and bullied. It is up to their school administrators, educators and parents to work together to ensure that this is not the case. According to the HRSA, many schools have taken their responsibility to stop bullying very seriously and have put into place an anti-bullying system of rules and consequences.
Ruining a kid's life over incidents like these is not the answer either. Put your pitchfork down.
Agreed. The perpetrator should be made to publicly apologies and HE should be taken down a few notches.
He might be a perfect alternarive for an alt school. A sadist.
I am absolutely FLOORED by the extreme reactions to this kid. FLOORED. Yes, what he did was wrong and yes, he should be punished. Pulling a prank like this does not make him a sadist.
I really fear for where this world is going when we have to jump to such extremes for normal behavior.
I remember a story about a grade school kid who got into deep doo doo because he and a few buddies decided to start spanking girls in the hall. It was reported as sexual assault by a parent.
But is anyone ever asked before they become the butt of a joke or a prank? I think some of you are taking this too far.
I thought the reactions on this thread were wild. So I did a little check and asked DH what he thought. What would you do if DS had his pants pulled down in front of the school at an assembly. He looked at me for a minute. Like are you daft. Nothing was his reply. You don't think that is sexual assault? SEXUAL ASSAULT, you have to be kidding me! Bullying? No it is not bullying. It is some kid playing an embarrassing joke.
Ok at least my husband and I agree. Send him to school with a handful of clever retorts for when he is ribbed and move along. I think our culture is a little loony on the subject of nudity and private parts though.
Just to show you how times have changed....When I was in High School we had a kid we nicknamed "The Butcher". In gym class he would take a running start and slide like a baseball player and yank kids pants down. If some kid got seperated from the herd and was not paying attention you could almost guarantee a visit from the butcher.
This must have happened 100 times and I am not exaggerating. Back then nobody broke the kids who got their pants pulled down chops, it was more like passing talk in the cafateria "Hey Anthony, I heard the butcher got you in gym class?"....Anthony ""Yeah he got me" and that was it....
My point (and belive it or not there is a point) to this story is......OP you should tell your kid to laugh it off or play it down in front of the other kids. If he acts hurt it will make things way worse. If he can manage to do that he will take the power away.
I think that this dark cloud could have a silver lining. Your kid will learn how to cope with embarassment and if he can he will be better for it.
I thought the reactions on this thread were wild. So I did a little check and asked DH what he thought. What would you do if DS had his pants pulled down in front of the school at an assembly. He looked at me for a minute. Like are you daft. Nothing was his reply. You don't think that is sexual assault? SEXUAL ASSAULT, you have to be kidding me! Bullying? No it is not bullying. It is some kid playing an embarrassing joke.
Ok at least my husband and I agree. Send him to school with a handful of clever retorts for when he is ribbed and move along. I think our culture is a little loony on the subject of nudity and private parts though.
While I do think "nothing" is too lenient, I don't think a charge of sexual assault or any other crime is a proper solution. Detention (rather than suspension; what are these principals thinking?) spanning more than 2 days, maybe. But sometimes normal kids do stupid things; sometimes normal adults do stupid things. When we dwell on mistakes made for too long, it becomes part of our self-concept. Like calling a kid a thief for stealing one candy bar one time. If a person's going to have a reputation for being something bad, what's their incentive for ever being good?
You want both kids to be able to move on. Lead by example.
Just to show you how times have changed....When I was in High School we had a kid we nicknamed "The Butcher". In gym class he would take a running start and slide like a baseball player and yank kids pants down. If some kid got seperated from the herd and was not paying attention you could almost guarantee a visit from the butcher.
This must have happened 100 times and I am not exaggerating. Back then nobody broke the kids who got their pants pulled down chops, it was more like passing talk in the cafateria "Hey Anthony, I heard the butcher got you in gym class?"....Anthony ""Yeah he got me" and that was it....
My point (and belive it or not there is a point) to this story is......OP you should tell your kid to laugh it off or play it down in front of the other kids. If he acts hurt it will make things way worse. If he can manage to do that he will take the power away.
Yup! Witty reparte...
Quote:
I think that this dark cloud could have a silver lining. Your kid will learn how to cope with embarassment and if he can he will be better for it.
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