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Old 05-24-2012, 06:05 AM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,148,221 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
While I do think "nothing" is too lenient, I don't think a charge of sexual assault or any other crime is a proper solution.
Nothing is what I the parent would do. This is the school's problem, and they handled it.
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Old 05-24-2012, 06:11 AM
 
Location: TX
6,486 posts, read 6,367,732 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Nothing is what I the parent would do. This is the school's problem, and they handled it.
I do think they handled it poorly. Suspension is not a punishment; it may even more closely resemble a reward. But I probably wouldn't have done anything either, unless of course it was an ongoing problem, due in part to the school not knowing how to handle the situation properly.

At any rate, we've all been off-topic for a while. The OP asked what to do about her son, not what should've been done about the other kid.
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Old 05-24-2012, 06:12 AM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,148,221 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
I do think they handled it poorly. Suspension is not a punishment; it may even more closely resemble a reward. But I probably wouldn't have done anything either, unless of course it was an ongoing problem, due in part to the school not knowing how to handle the situation properly.
School discipline is a whole 'nother matter. I would agree that suspension is not much of a punishment. I would go one step further and say that school discipline is AFU.
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Old 05-24-2012, 07:21 AM
 
2,154 posts, read 4,416,403 times
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I am thinking the same thing. With threads like this, I am SO GLAD I am not oing through the school system these days with parents like these. Yes, be there for your kids when REAL issues happen, but for heavens sake- let your kids solve their own life problems every once in awhile. Parents are what is causing kids to not know how to deal with anything anymore- everything always has to be an extreme. Getting seriously out of hand.

Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
I thought the reactions on this thread were wild. So I did a little check and asked DH what he thought. What would you do if DS had his pants pulled down in front of the school at an assembly. He looked at me for a minute. Like are you daft. Nothing was his reply. You don't think that is sexual assault? SEXUAL ASSAULT, you have to be kidding me! Bullying? No it is not bullying. It is some kid playing an embarrassing joke.

Ok at least my husband and I agree. Send him to school with a handful of clever retorts for when he is ribbed and move along. I think our culture is a little loony on the subject of nudity and private parts though.
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Old 05-24-2012, 07:36 AM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,148,221 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NEOhioBound View Post
I am thinking the same thing. With threads like this, I am SO GLAD I am not oing through the school system these days with parents like these. Yes, be there for your kids when REAL issues happen, but for heavens sake- let your kids solve their own life problems every once in awhile. Parents are what is causing kids to not know how to deal with anything anymore- everything always has to be an extreme. Getting seriously out of hand.
Yah, this belongs somewhat too over in the over protective thread.

My best girlfriend, I love her with all my heart, but she over protects her kids to death. Not so much from danger. But from ... everything else about themselves. In her view Mom is there to do FOR the kids. At 6 and 8 they are still throwing temper tantrums. She coaxes and appeases them through them. The elder was yelling at her one day. My son looked at me kind of baffled and asked "Why does she let him talk to her like that?" Out of the mouths of... well not quite babes. I had to answer honestly that I have no idea. The kids wind up not being able to manage the simplest of problems without Mom's interaction because Mom is always right there leaping in to solve them for them. When 6 year old goes to put his shoes on, she reaches down and does it for him. If 6 year old hollers or demands that he wants something, maybe once time in ten she will comment, but she still gets whatever he just demanded.

She coaxes them through every bit of the day that they are not at school. They cannot get themselves out of bed in the am, fed, dressed, out the door.... on and on without constant coaxing, wheedling and nagging. All because, it seems to me, that she can't figure out how to let their responsibilities really be THEIRS.

It makes me a little sad. She is EXHAUSTED by the end of every day. And the kids don't enjoy the tantrums and troubles that they are allowed to continue. I would not get out of bed in the morning if the kids were that much effort.

It cracks me up to see the 6yo go to demand something of me, looks, realizes its me, and asks politely.
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Old 05-24-2012, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,980 posts, read 14,527,388 times
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I have been thinking about this thread, and while kids do stupid things, we do have double-standards with regards to some of their behaviors. I'm not sure if intent is the reason. If some strange man at the mall "pantsed" a young woman people would be outraged, but when teens do it, it's a harmless prank. I'm not sure which it is, but are we sending the right message when we sometimes blow it off and sometimes come down heavy for the same infractions?
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Old 05-24-2012, 08:05 AM
 
2,154 posts, read 4,416,403 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
I have been thinking about this thread, and while kids do stupid things, we do have double-standards with regards to some of their behaviors. I'm not sure if intent is the reason. If some strange man at the mall "pantsed" a young woman people would be outraged, but when teens do it, it's a harmless prank. I'm not sure which it is, but are we sending the right message when we sometimes blow it off and sometimes come down heavy for the same infractions?
Strange man != peers/friends at school. That is the difference. These are kids who pull stupid pranks at school- it happens- kids do and say stupid things all the time as they are still figuring out how to transition from childhood to adulthood. Adolescence sucks big time- we all went through it and deal with it in different ways, boys especially
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Old 05-24-2012, 08:08 AM
 
Location: TX
6,486 posts, read 6,367,732 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
I have been thinking about this thread, and while kids do stupid things, we do have double-standards with regards to some of their behaviors. I'm not sure if intent is the reason. If some strange man at the mall "pantsed" a young woman people would be outraged, but when teens do it, it's a harmless prank. I'm not sure which it is, but are we sending the right message when we sometimes blow it off and sometimes come down heavy for the same infractions?
Nope! I mean, again, I don't think kids/teens should be charged for crimes in the same way as adults (if at all, particularly in this case). But you're absolutely right that we should make it clear to our youth that something's either unacceptable or "no big deal" across the board.

And I don't think it should matter what the sexes of the two involved are, either.
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Old 05-24-2012, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Hyrule
8,390 posts, read 11,565,659 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ParallelJJCat View Post
Does no one care what the boy wants (other than the OP of course, who seems to be handling things just fine)? What if he doesn't want the police called or doesn't want to move to a different school? Would you force your child to start legal proceedings or seek a public apology if that wasn't what he wanted?
The op already said the boy went back to school and was fine. That he didn't want charges, etc. It's on the 2nd page posted by the op. It's all resolved with the boy now. I think they did a good job at handling it.

Everyone else is just being hypothetical.
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Old 05-24-2012, 08:30 AM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,148,221 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppySead View Post
The op already said the boy went back to school and was fine. That he didn't want charges, etc. It's on the 2nd page posted by the op. It's all resolved with the boy now. I think they did a good job at handling it.

Everyone else is just being hypothetical.
And discussing the hypothetical is a bad thing?
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