There is nothing 'innocent' or 'harmless' about this 'prank'. Public Nudity is, in most jurisdictions, a CRIME. So, deliberately causing another person's genitals to be exposed in public would also have to be a crime. What was done to your son is a criminal act in so many ways.... well... If an adult had done that to a minor, he could be put away
for life.
If your son has body image problems, or is having peer acceptance problems
(which would include being bullied), then this is an early warning which can help you save his life. I'm assuming he has these problems, because my own sons, who had better bodies and bigger junk than the other boys, would have come home
smirking, had anyone been foolish enough to pants them
(parenting two wildly-attractive exhibitionists has its own challenges...girls crawling through windows...coming in over the garden wall...oy...). But my Sons were lucky. Few are so lucky. For most thirteen-year-olds, this would be a horribly humiliating experience.
My Husband was nearly bullied
to death, from fifth grade to graduation. The first time I saw him - we were 17-year-olds, in
Bodybuilding 101, first semester of college - he was stooped-over, furtive, afraid to look others in the eye. He had severe acne, and a scalp scarred by Ringworm. At that point, he'd nearly taken his own life more times than he could count. Only consideration of his Mother's feelings had kept him from doing it. Poverty, being fatherless, being really smart...all had isolated him from his peers, and as Meredith Minter Dixon of RavenDays describes her own status, made him
a hunted outsider.
Divine Intervention had to have brought us together, because that pitiful boy was just right for
me. I was just as poor and hideous, and had been bullied a good bit, too. Unlike him, though, I'd not been physically attacked. Constant loud public insults are not as bad as physical attacks
(I would consider being de-pantsed as a physical attack). Two effeminate boys in my high school
were physically assaulted, and
did kill themselves.
Well, that ugly boy and I became a team, then a couple. Between improved nutrition, vitamin supplements, weightlifting, swimming, and
(most important) the flood of good brain chemicals you get from being in a wonderful loving relationship, we both blossomed. He had a late-onset growth spurt
(including, probably, his brain, and definitely parts it's not nice to mention).
We started coaching each other on posture and elocution. We started a family. We started estate-building.
And now, I'm married to a six-foot-three mountain of muscle in a six thousand Dollar suit. His voice is impressively deep. His delivery is authoritative. His posture is that of a man in charge. His gaze intimidates
.
But at the core of that magnificent man is still the boy who nearly died, because of bullies.
I'm telling you all of this, because I'm about to tell you what you should
do.
(instead of the usual squawking Mother Hen approach, which smothers boys, and does more harm than good)
Summer is nearly here, and over the course of a summer, a thirteen-year-old can transform himself, physically. You can accelerate Puberty and the development of
Masculine Gender Signals. This should help with Peer Acceptance
(or at least make him less vulnerable).
I know a brilliant Swede, who deliberately
(and with the help of some medical texts) threw himself into early puberty. He had been yanked out of a good school in Beverly Hills, and thrown into a
Dixie DumbBunny private academy in the Deep South, where the focus was Football. From a family of giant blonds, he was seen as future fodder for the Football machine, and hounded relentlessly to 'join the program'
(Little League Football?). Then, he was bullied, as a result of his refusal. It was
bad. So, he began exercising like mad, started limited sun exposure for the testosterone surge
(collagen/cancer issues later, possibly, but it beats being an adolescent suicide), etc. He was sent back to Sweden for a happy summer with a bodybuilding
(and Mossad-trained) branch of the family... and came back MORPHED...and dangerous. The bullying problem quickly went away
(he seriously injured a bully, and it took strings-pulled, and threats-made, to cover it up and silence the injured psycho's family... but anyway...).
If you can afford it, get a membership to a non-threatening gym which accepts kids your son's age. Many gyms have summer programs for kids. Additionally,
get him a personal trainer. Once, I was out of town, having a session with my temporary Trainer. Across the room was a twelve-year-old boy, whose trainer looked like a Super Hero. Huge, blond, built, and beautiful, this trainer was precisely the sort whose aura an obese kid needed to be importing
(remember, a good trainer is on your team...a temporary best friend...). In other words, the kid was
getting to identify with this guy.His self-image was surely being upgraded.
I told my Trainer, and she said that the kid's Mom (a powerful Attorney) had just died of a massive heart attack
(a few sleepless nights... a few cups of coffee too many...). I can't think of better therapy for a kid in such distress, than having a living superhero devoting hours to him...showing him how to become a superhero, himself.
Your kid needs an hour a day in the pool, all summer. Preferably, this is a pool which, while open-air, limits his sun exposure. There are all sorts of pool exercises, which are ideal for adolescents, whose bones have not yet hardened
. (low-weight, high-reps exercises are traditionally recommended for adolescents, who can put on astonishing amounts of muscle that way).
Some sort of Martial Arts/fight training would not be a bad idea, at this point. And the calorie charts at the gym show that these disciplines burn calories like crazy. No wonder the Mixed Martial Arts dudes are among the hottest at the gym. Their flexibility training makes them good-looking, too.
Moderate sun exposure will help trigger a testosterone surge - a good thing - but temper its effects with Beta Carotene
(Carrots, Broccoli, Swiss Chard, Mixed-Carotenoid capsules...), which helps the body convert sunlight effectively. Making sure he has an abundance of other antioxidants in his diet/supplements will also help limit damage from sun exposure
.
And that leads me to diet: Now is the crucial time
(a time window which will soon be closing) to evaluate your Son's diet
(and yours). Whole grains and leafy green vegetables should be the bulk of your diet. Simple Carbohydrates
(Sugar, cooked fruits, pasteurized fruit juices, soft drinks, pasta, white flour, bagels, the cereals most people eat...) should not even be in your house. Find your local whole foods co-op, and buy Millet, Raw Buckwheat, Lentils, Barley Flakes, Rolled Oats, Rye Flakes, raw Almonds, etc. in bulk. Here's my favorite nutrition information resource:
WHFoods: The World's Healthiest Foods
While avoiding Simple Carbohydrates, you should be embracing good fats. These (unless one is allergic, of course) come from Sunflower Seeds, Nuts, Almonds, Avocados, and Olive Oil
(if you can find the rare brands of undiluted Extra Virgin Olive Oil.) Add fats after cooking. Heated oils are bad for you, and make you ugly.
We're Vegetarians. But lean protein from steamed fish and boiled chicken breasts would not be a bad idea for a growing boy putting on muscle.
If you have a voice recording device, now is the time for your Son to start lowering his voice, perfecting his delivery. Plenty has been written, about how powerful men speak. Consult the experts. Listening to himself a few hundred times, on a recorder...getting better with each try...will yield amazing results. He can craft his personality to be exactly what he knows will give him maximum posture power with his peers.
Oh, POSTURE! Almost forgot! There are exercises
(easy to find online) designed to improve posture. They work. A good three-way mirror is a great place for assessing one's own carriage. Videotaping yourself moving through space is good practice, too.
Ultimately, it is your Son's choice to eat right, exercise, deepen his voice... Some choose to survive and thrive. Some do not. You can lead a Horse to water....
The Personal Trainer
(preferably a magnificent male he'll want to emulate) is a good first step.
Meredith Minter Dixon's story: Raven Days -- Stalag HS
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