Did YOUR Parents Teach You Basic Living Skills? (meal, legally, teaching)

[imcurious]

I'm interested in hearing from adults . . .if THEIR parents taught them basic survival skills . . .defined as learning to cook, clean, pay bills, service a car, exist in the real world.

Please note your age, and what your skill level was when you left home . . .

Did your parents teach you how to do the things you needed to do?

IF NOT . . .how did you learn and how long did it take you to learn?

I will start:

My parents did not actively teach me any survival skills. I wanted to help my mother with cooking and cleaning, but she wouldn't let me. I was not even required to clean my room (though I did).

When I left home at 19, I did not have a clue how to do basic stuff . . . didn't know how to wash clothes, cook, or mop the floor. Had to learn everything on my own and it took me awhile to figure things out . . .

I got the bill-paying down pretty quickly, but had a harder time with the laundry and cooking . . .some of those early dinners were absolutely frightening.

I put thread in "Parenting," because it seemed like the best fit.

I really want to hear about your experiences, and especially if you were not taught much at home, how long it took you to figure some things out and any funny stories that happened along the way (or lessons that you had to learn "the hard way").

[txtqueen]

Originally Posted by imcurious

I'm interested in hearing from adults . . .if THEIR parents taught them basic survival skills . . .defined as learning to cook, clean, pay bills, service a car, exist in the real world.

Please note your age, and what your skill level was when you left home . . .

Did your parents teach you how to do the things you needed to do?

IF NOT . . .how did you learn and how long did it take you to learn?

I will start:

My parents did not actively teach me any survival skills. I wanted to help my mother with cooking and cleaning, but she wouldn't let me. I was not even required to clean my room (though I did).

When I left home at 19, I did not have a clue how to basic stuff . . . didn't know how to wash clothes, cook, or mop the floor. Had to learn everything on my own and it took me awhile to figure things out . . .

I got the bill-paying down pretty quickly, but had a harder time with the laundry and cooking . . .some of those early dinners were absolutely frightening.

I put thread in "Parenting," because it seemed like the best fit.

I really want to hear about your experiences, and especially if you were not taught much at home, how long it took you to figure some things out and any funny stories that happened along the way (or lessons that you had to learn "the hard way").

You mean I can actually answer this one myself and NOT get in trouble?
Is this a trap?

ANYWAYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I left home at 21, moved my stuff back a few months later but in the past year and a half I was back I was there collectively a month or less and I am now back out as of this month.
No, I wasn't really taught very much. I was taught the basics when cooking but I would still have to google what temp some meats should be to be done. I am learning NOW because I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me and well....doesn't want to always have to cook dinner so he teaches me.
I do know how to clean and I can clean pretty well when I put a lot of effort into it. I have been doing my own laundry since I was 12 (only cause I bought thongs I didn't want her to see), I can deep clean and organize and pay attention to detail.
I was not taught how to pay bills but I do pay bills now but its all online or over the phone by debit card. Balancing a budget is a whole nother story.
I couldn't service a car to save my life, I know how to check my oil, my tire pressure and add windshield washer fluid but that's it.

I was not taught a lot. I knew how to clean up my room, work a mop and vacuum. I knew how to do laundry. Bills and stuff not so much, budgets no way.

I am really learning the rest of the stuff now.
Budgets, cars, cooking, with my boyfriend teaching me everything.

I also have been learning home improvement things lately, all thanks to TG, I now know how to proficiently use a drill, install hardware and even how to change things like outlets, the actual outlet it's self.

I don't have any funny stories as of yet, hopefully there won't be.

[lauramc27]

Originally Posted by imcurious

I'm interested in hearing from adults . . .if THEIR parents taught them basic survival skills . . .defined as learning to cook, clean, pay bills, service a car, exist in the real world.

Please note your age, and what your skill level was when you left home . . .

Did your parents teach you how to do the things you needed to do?

IF NOT . . .how did you learn and how long did it take you to learn?

I will start:

My parents did not actively teach me any survival skills. I wanted to help my mother with cooking and cleaning, but she wouldn't let me. I was not even required to clean my room (though I did).

When I left home at 19, I did not have a clue how to do basic stuff . . . didn't know how to wash clothes, cook, or mop the floor. Had to learn everything on my own and it took me awhile to figure things out . . .

I got the bill-paying down pretty quickly, but had a harder time with the laundry and cooking . . .some of those early dinners were absolutely frightening.

I put thread in "Parenting," because it seemed like the best fit.

I really want to hear about your experiences, and especially if you were not taught much at home, how long it took you to figure some things out and any funny stories that happened along the way (or lessons that you had to learn "the hard way").

Yes, my Mom, Grandma and Greatgrandma taught me how to cook, italian family By the time I was old enough to reach the nobs on the washer/dryer I did my own laundry. We also had chores we had to do daily/weekly. Paying bills I pretty much figured out myself, but they did try to teach us the meaning of money. My Dad taught us how to change the oil/tire/sparkplugs in our cars. I am 47 year old.

[Penguin_ie]

I am 38, grew up in Switzerland. My parents taught me basic stuff on how to deal with people, how to do business, save money etc as well as cooking, cleaning, safety etc. Most important thing my dad ever told me is to never sign anything without reading it!

They never taught me DIY practical things such as servicing a car or changing a plug though- in Switzerland, that is always done by a professional. I since learnt those from my American husband and books.

[Dorthy]

My parents cooked frequently but weren't really good cooks so I learned the basics. I could put a semi home cooked meal on the table by the time I moved out. I learned how to read recipes from baking brownies and cookies and things throughout childhood so was never intimidated to just try out a new recipe and follow the directions. I improved my cooking skills by working in restaurants as a young adult and just trying new things on my own.

I knew how to do laundry as my mom expected me to do my own by the time I was in 5th grade. I knew how to clean because I had chores for as long as I can remember and I was expected to pitch in. I knew how to budget because my parents would give me a little bit of money but never enough to do all of the things that I wanted to do or buy all of the things I wanted to buy so I worked as soon as I was legally allowed.

[ylisa7]

I am 45 and grew up in a single parent household.

My mother taught me and expected me to help with cooking, cleaning, laundry, and ironing. She worked two jobs a lot of the time so the household stuff was left to me.

She did not teach me anything about finances and that was probably a good thing since she was at the queen of bounced checks.

My father did go with me to open my first checking and savings account. He showed me how to use a check register...but that was as much as I understood about finances. I knew nothing about adult finances.

I did not learn how to do any outside work or DIY projects as my family is not at all handy. That was really ashamed because I missed out on so many things that I love to do now. At least I can do them now.


I learned a lot of the money stuff on my own and learned tons of DIY stuff through my DH.

[imcurious]

I started working outside the home at age 11 . . .so I developed a good work ethic, even though I was not allowed to work in the home.

I feel I was seriously handicapped by not knowing how to do basic stuff (not blaming my parents, just saying how it was for me) . . .

It took me many, many years to piece together basic stuff . . .how to establish a chore routine, how to clean certain things, etc. I never had a good appreciation for money, so I think I could have used some schooling in that area, as well (my parents did explain that debt was undesirable and that one should "live within their means"), but I didn't know anything about banking, investing, etc.

I had no idea that cars should have routine maintenance - I saw growing up that you just waited for something to go wrong, and then fixed it - so there were a lot of big expenses and a lot of trauma around car issues because of deferred maintenance.

I can't tell you how many items of clothes I ruined (I guess you could say I did not have innate survival skills - maybe not the kind of common sense that would be needed to learn basics).

I feel sorry for my family when I was learning to cook.

I remember throwing chicken in a frying pan, turning the heat up high and serving it burned on the outside and raw on the inside after five minutes. I doubt if I even knew to wash it!

[jasper12]

Nope. I had a perfectionist OCD Mother...anything I did was not good enough. I learned to do nothing. If I did anything, it was re done by her...so it would be, "perfect". I rebelled from this perfection standard....failed school, and basically left her...and her psychosis.

I have a theory....people with normal parents develop and mature normally. People with dysfunctional parents just survive being a teen....and then "parent" themselves in their 20's. You are always behind those who had a normal family experience because of this delay.

[Kibbiekat]

They are saying now that you don't have to wash chicken. It just spreads germs around the sink area.

Doing the dishes is the one chore I did on a regular basis, so I could do that much when I left home. My mom didn't teach me to cook. I never really liked her cooking anyway. She taught me the basics of laundry. That wasn't too hard to pick up. To this day I've never mowed or edged the lawn I think I learned how to handle money by watching their example. They didn't teach me to budget (and I still don't really) but they set the example of saving for retirement, and also for a rainy day, and basically not spending more than you have. They taught me how interest works and to pay credit cards off every month.

I lived in and out of the house in college, but in a dorm type situation. I still didn't have to cook or clean, really. I had a job, so I learned how to manage my money.

I moved into an apartment at 23, then got married at 25. My cooking has come a long way since then. I just learned by doing. I get a lot of recipes off the internet and try different things. (I'm 38 now BTW)

I tried to have a cleaning schedule but that didn't work for me. I clean things when they get dirty. Simple enough.

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by jasper12

Nope. I had a perfectionist OCD Mother...anything I did was not good enough. I learned to do nothing. If I did anything, it was re done by her...so it would be, "perfect". I rebelled from this perfection standard....failed school, and basically left her...and her psychosis.

I have a theory....people with normal parents develop and mature normally. People with dysfunctional parents just survive being a teen....and then "parent" themselves in their 20's. You are always behind those who had a normal family experience because of this delay.

I had this too. My mom used to stand over my shoulder and criticize what I was doing. I'm sure I told her more than once to leave me alone or do it herself. I keep things "clean enough" now, but not up to her standards.