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And there's one thing harder than hearing what people are saying: It's admitting that they may be right and that you have, in fact, made mistakes. That's very hard. But it's also a very important thing to be able to do.
Welcome to wearing grown-up pants and taking responsibility!
Big 'ol to this. Nothing can be changed in your life without looking at yourself and admitting YOU may be part of the problem.
I live with her. It's not about being validated. It's about drama. It's finding a way to claim the world is UNFAIR.
And the calculator was returned before she even got out of bed...Yet we've heard about how she COULDN'T study for her finals. She claimed that the reason she slept until 1:00 is she knew she couldn't study. Only she always sleeps until noon on Saturday. Oh the drama...
I have told dd#2 she does not get to turn into a drama queen. One per household thank you.
Actually, things are pretty peaceful today. After she had to pay for the remote for the TV and lost her phone, ipod and tablet for the week she's decided we're not so bad. Funny how having no one else to talk to makes your family look better. She's been downright polite today. She even washed the car.
You won't validate, but you'll mock? This is not he first time I've seen you use sarcasm and a mocking tone when you relate something about her. Perhaps you could work on not doing that in regards to your daughter. Might be a good place to start.
Don't they use graphing calculators on computer yet?
Yes, but dd can't take a computer to the ACT. It would be dd#1 who would need to find an alternate calculator and she can use a TI-84 online. Pandering to her and finding a lesser calculator for her sister to use for the ACT is not acceptable here. Dd#1 has plenty of options here. The little calculator I use to calculate grades would work. My students use the exact same calculator on their chemistry tests. There is no reason dd#1 needed the TI-84 to study but her sister did need it for the ACT...which was 4 hours out of the weekend....4 hours that dd#1 is, usually, and was, sleeping. There was no reason for drama here.
You won't validate, but you'll mock? This is not he first time I've seen you use sarcasm and a mocking tone when you relate something about her. Perhaps you could work on not doing that in regards to your daughter. Might be a good place to start.
You do realize that using sarcasm here doesn't mean I use it with her, right?
Yes, but dd can't take a computer to the ACT. It would be dd#1 who would need to find an alternate calculator and she can use a TI-84 online. Pandering to her and finding a lesser calculator for her sister to use for the ACT is not acceptable here. Dd#1 has plenty of options here. The little calculator I use to calculate grades would work. My students use the exact same calculator on their chemistry tests. There is no reason dd#1 needed the TI-84 to study but her sister did need it for the ACT...which was 4 hours out of the weekend....4 hours that dd#1 is, usually, and was, sleeping. There was no reason for drama here.
So why don't you say that? Say, "Sorry DD1, it looks like DD2 needs it for her ACT. I have lots of other options for you that would work well. You could use my little one, or we could find one online. Would that work? Or if those don't work, would you like me to try to find one for you at school?"...or is that "appeasing" her?
You do realize that using sarcasm here doesn't mean I use it with her, right?
What anyone on this board thinks about what you do or don't do really doesn't matter. What matters is what your daughter thinks. She thinks you favor her sister. She thinks she doesn't fit with your family. She thinks she has no value.
Believe it or not, your attitude and words have contributed to what she thinks.
Please read my posts! I didn't say anything about buying. I said BORROW.
And quite frankly, you're the one who asked strangers on the Internet how to handle the situation. IF you're so damn sure you are RIGHT , why ask?
Given I don't know anyone to borrow one from, I'd be buying. Dd#1 could live without the calculator for 4 hours. It's, hardly, the end of the world. She has 7 finals this week. Studying for one requires A calculator.
This is dd being manipulative. Trying to get her way even when there's no reason for her to get her way. She could study for any of her other six finals during the four hours dd#2 was taking the test. Or sleep like she normally does during that time.
I will note that she has yet to pick up the calculator to study for that final. Her studying for her finals was never the issue here. That was just her excuse for not helping her sister. I've lived with her long enough to know that and I see no need to validate it.
Given I don't know anyone to borrow one from, I'd be buying. Dd#1 could live without the calculator for 4 hours. It's, hardly, the end of the world. She has 7 finals this week. Studying for one requires A calculator.
This is dd being manipulative. Trying to get her way even when there's no reason for her to get her way. She could study for any of her other six finals during the four hours dd#2 was taking the test. Or sleep like she normally does during that time.
I will note that she has yet to pick up the calculator to study for that final. Her studying for her finals was never the issue here. That was just her excuse for not helping her sister. I've lived with her long enough to know that and I see no need to validate it.
Try reading your own posts (perhaps # 15). You state that most kids use the calculators available at the school. You work there. Borrow one.
You don't know anyone you can borrow a calculator from? You're a high school teacher. Next year you'll be teaching math correct? I bet you know a way to borrow a calculator if need be.
Try reading your own posts (perhaps # 15). You state that most kids use the calculators available at the school. You work there. Borrow one.
Yeah, what's with this? The kids borrow calculators from the school but you can't? Um, okay...
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Oh the drama...
