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The fact that you came here asking for advice means that you know you need help. Why not seek help from a professional instead of a bunch of internet strangers? This is a serious issue, and you are running out of time to deal with it. Seek professional help! Go to a therapist, different from your daughter's if you want, and say "this is what my daughter has, and I need help figuring out how to deal with her." It isn't hard.
Borrowing a $200 calculator from the school without reason is not simple. I'd need a good reason. That dd#1 didn't want to loan her sister, who doesn't even attend the same school, my calculator for 4 hours is not good reason. Dd#1 can share. Period. Last time I looked sharing was a good trait.
THE CALCULATOR IS NOT THE ISSUE! Can you not see that? Most of use here are talking about it because it's such an easy fix...offer some different options, that would make her feel like you care about her- which is applicable to any of the situations you've described, such as the puppy. As Dorthy suggested, why not just say, "I don't think that would work in our yard, but there are tons of great other breeds out there. Why don't we research them together? I'm sure we could find something that would work for our family and that you'd like."? That way you are not compromising on what you know wouldn't work, but you're also letting her know that you care and aren't dismissing her feelings.
The fact that you came here asking for advice means that you know you need help. Why not seek help from a professional instead of a bunch of internet strangers? This is a serious issue, and you are running out of time to deal with it. Seek professional help! Go to a therapist, different from your daughter's if you want, and say "this is what my daughter has, and I need help figuring out how to deal with her." It isn't hard.
Again dense. Don't you see that DD1 feels you're taking yet one more thing from her and giving it to her sister? All you have to say about DD1 are negatives while DD2 is cast in the role of golden child. If we can tell this by posts on the internet, I'm sure DD1 is clear on where she stands in your eyes. The calculator is a symptom of the problem not the problem.
Please seek help for your sake and especially for your daughter.
GOOD GRIEF. I didn't take anything from her. I let her sister borrow my calculator for 4 hours. You really need to put this in perspective here.
UGH. Please try to keep up.... I DO NOT HAVE TI-84's in MY ROOM at MY DISPOSAL. I HAVE DOLLAR STORE CASIOS. The MATH teachers have the TI's and keep them under lock and key. It was not a simple matter of just borrowing one. And even if I did have a set, I wouldn't because of the risk that dd#2's school would think it was theirs because the ones they sell schools are all the same color so schools know to stop students from leaving with them. They're school bus yellow.
You are so deep in BS you don't even know which end is up. DD#2 wouldn't be taking it to her test, she'd be taking yours. dd#1 would have one from your class at her disposal for studying for finals and would be without an excuse.
The fact that you came here asking for advice means that you know you need help. Why not seek help from a professional instead of a bunch of internet strangers? This is a serious issue, and you are running out of time to deal with it. Seek professional help! Go to a therapist, different from your daughter's if you want, and say "this is what my daughter has, and I need help figuring out how to deal with her." It isn't hard.
Yes Kibbiekat, that's a great suggestion.
Ivory, you seem to have a great amount of anger- why not find your OWN counselor, completely independent of DD's, that could give you some strategies in dealing with the anger towards your daughter?
Actually, I've gotten some very good advice here today that I'm taking to heart. I've also gotten some bad advice I'm choosing to ignore. I knew I would when I posted this though. I'm just glad some people came through with ideas that might help. And a little support for adminstering some tough love. I do have to admit to pandering to dd#1 too much and contributing to the problem. I didn't pander to her this time. And the world did not end. That's one step in the right direction.
You are so deep in BS you don't even know which end is up. DD#2 wouldn't be taking it to her test, she'd be taking yours. dd#1 would have one from your class at her disposal for studying for finals and would be without an excuse.
Do come back when you have something constructive to add...And READ.... I DON"T HAVE TI"S IN MY CLASSROOM!!!! They are NOT at my disposal. I have dollar store calculators like the one I carry in my purse that dd#1 is free to use, and does, any time. Why do I need to borrow one from the school? Seriously, you can't even see the problem here or follow my posts.
Just a thought, but if the situation with DD is so dire involving "drama," "manipulation," and throwing/breaking household objects and you are looking for ways to maximize progress in the only year left until she is 18, I have to wonder why she is taking a break from therapy for the summer.
Actually, I've gotten some very good advice here today that I'm taking to heart. I've also gotten some bad advice I'm choosing to ignore. I knew I would when I posted this though. I'm just glad some people came through with ideas that might help. And a little support for adminstering some tough love. I do have to admit to pandering to dd#1 too much and contributing to the problem. I didn't pander to her this time. And the world did not end.
Or, you could seek advice from a professional who knows dd#1's dx and could offer you some real advice, instead of picking and choosing what would be easiest for you from what a bunch of internet strangers with only part of the story offer. you're welcome.
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