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I am getting to frustrated !! IM a single mom for the most part ( dad is somewhat there but mostly not) and so my mom helps alot. Shes a life saver idk how I could make it without her. She helps when funds are low she watches her everyother friday so I can have free time and she gets her probably 2-3 times a week after she gets off work for about an hour or 2.
Well the problem is we do NOT agree on parenting. Im very by the book for the most part. She isnt. For example I told her NO TABLE FOOD what did she do give her mashed potatos I told her NO JUICE until shes 2 and I walk in and shes pouring some into a bottle. A BOTTLE!!! Trinitee hasnt used a bottle since she was 6 months old. Thats what tipped the iceburg. My mom says she doesnt like the sippy cup. Well she never seems to mind when shes with me. I didnt even know my mom still had a bottle I threw all mine out. Ughh and everytime my mom keeps her overnight the next day she comes back sooooo cranky. If I dont pick her up she crys. She isnt like that.
I appreciate my mom for all that she has done and is still doing for me and Trinitee but come on IM the mom how do I get her to realize that? The bottle is what killed me because im scared now she will want it over the cup.
Well I hate to sound callous but if you don't like the way that your mom is watching your daughter you either need to find someone else to watch her or start paying her so you can treat her like an employee. While I agree that your mom should listen to your parenting philosophy the fact is that she's taking care of your child for free...so you don't really get to give her a hard time.
I am getting to frustrated !! IM a single mom for the most part ( dad is somewhat there but mostly not) and so my mom helps alot. Shes a life saver idk how I could make it without her. She helps when funds are low she watches her everyother friday so I can have free time and she gets her probably 2-3 times a week after she gets off work for about an hour or 2.
Well the problem is we do NOT agree on parenting. Im very by the book for the most part. She isnt. For example I told her NO TABLE FOOD what did she do give her mashed potatos I told her NO JUICE until shes 2 and I walk in and shes pouring some into a bottle. A BOTTLE!!! Trinitee hasnt used a bottle since she was 6 months old. Thats what tipped the iceburg. My mom says she doesnt like the sippy cup. Well she never seems to mind when shes with me. I didnt even know my mom still had a bottle I threw all mine out. Ughh and everytime my mom keeps her overnight the next day she comes back sooooo cranky. If I dont pick her up she crys. She isnt like that.
I appreciate my mom for all that she has done and is still doing for me and Trinitee but come on IM the mom how do I get her to realize that? The bottle is what killed me because im scared now she will want it over the cup.
I think you are overreacting really but the best you can do is sit mom down and explain your choices. However given the help she offers you can't be too picky as well.
Last edited by ~HecateWhisperCat~; 06-12-2012 at 11:11 AM..
Grandmas get used as free babysitters all the time, but you do not have the leverage you'd have if she were a paid babysitter. She's gonna do what she wants when you aren't there. That is obvious.
I agree on the juice thing and definitely the bottle issue, but table food? IMHO, mashed potatoes are a perfect food for a child that age. Perhaps if you are willing to compromise on the table food thing, with a list of approved foods you and your mom agree on, then you should get her to negotiate on the juice.
She also probably is not getting an adequate nap, which is probably why she cries. Maybe you should work on that with her as well.
Well I hate to sound callous but if you don't like the way that your mom is watching your daughter you either need to find someone else to watch her or start paying her so you can treat her like an employee. While I agree that your mom should listen to your parenting philosophy the fact is that she's taking care of your child for free...so you don't really get to give her a hard time.
This. From what you've shared I don't think you are in much of a position to give up Mom's free help.
I'd sit and have a pow wow with her and talk about her way vs. your way. And who says "By the book" is better? Maybe you need to be open to what a woman who has been there, done that has to say?
Meanwhile, don't tick her off. Your mom actually provides the option for you to take a night off? Not many single mothers get to do that.
I think you are overeating really but the best you can do is sit mom down and explain your choices. However given the help she offers you can't be too picky as well.
I know it's frustrating when you feel that your parenting decisions are being overridden, but I agree with the other posters that your mom helps out in a huge way that many people don't have access to. My thought here is to pick your battles. Is there one thing that you feel very strongly about that you can have a reasoned conversation with your mom about? Or maybe explain that you want to keep things as consistent as possible between your house and your mom's house because your daughter is already dealing with the inconsistency of her dad? If you can frame it as a concern over your daughter rather than a "I'm the mom, you'll do what I say" you might find your mom is more open to thinking about changing one or two things. Then just let the rest go and remember how lucky your daughter is to be able to spend so much time with her granny. Eventually kids learn that the rules at mom's house may be different than the rules at other people's houses.
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