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My child is a cub (just earned Wolf). We've experienced things like kids calling him a "baby" "loser" in front of a big group, other kids have been beat up, kids running around all crazy with little supervision, stuff such as kids ganging up to exclude him from games, etc.
Is it too much to expect to find a troop that is not run like this? I am wondering if a troop at a church might be better? Lord knows as an imperfect Christian myself, I sure know that it doesn't take a Christian to be a good person but I do wonder if some of them might be more outwardly kind...
I like (most of) what scouting stands for and he has probably had a good experience over all but we want to find a group that actually lives by (at least more than this one):
Cub scout packs vary in parent involvement. The more the parents are actively involved the better the pack is. In our pack the parents do not drop the boys off, at least not often, and most especially they do not drop off at den meetings. Our Tiger and Wolf dens had every scout with a parent at every meeting.
So yes, I think you can find a better pack. Church affiliation should not matter, but how closely the pack follows BSA guidelines does matter. Have you spoken to the committee chair or cubmaster about your concerns?
My son also just earned his wolf rank, and I've also been disappointed with our pack for the last 2 years. It has been disorganized. There is a lack of communication. Almost every time my son earns something, it is, for some reason, forgotten at the pack meeting. The other kids have made fun of him and the den leaders ignore it. The boys also run crazy at the meetings, and aren't disciplined. It has been a pretty disappointing experience. We've looked at a couple other nearby packs, but couldn't really tell if they were any better, including one chartered at a church.
At this point, I don't think the time we put in is worth what we get out of it. I think I'd either have to become a leader myself, which wouldn't solve all the problems, or just quit.
Cub scout packs vary in parent involvement. The more the parents are actively involved the better the pack is. In our pack the parents do not drop the boys off, at least not often, and most especially they do not drop off at den meetings. Our Tiger and Wolf dens had every scout with a parent at every meeting.
So yes, I think you can find a better pack. Church affiliation should not matter, but how closely the pack follows BSA guidelines does matter. Have you spoken to the committee chair or cubmaster about your concerns?
The parents always stay at our meetings too, but it doesn't seem to make much of a difference.
You mean the parents aren't even trying to tame down their own kids? I would find another troop. We had a great experience with Scouts but of course there is always the misfit boy and impatient leader. But to be successful it needs STRONG leadership, support from the church-didn't know BS met anywhere other than a church- and good parental involvement.
Interestingly, I think there is a big difference between girl scouts and boy scouts mainly because moms think about supervising differently than dads do.
My experience is primarily with girl scouts and the guidelines are very clear both in terms of safety and in terms of not allowing bullying (although cliques can form and bullying can happen). I think gs leaders just tend to be more aware of this and try to discourage it. For example, when we choose our patrols now, we divide up the girls and they pick out of a hat, but we do also separate kids who are best friends so that they all get to work with each other. The boy scout troops don't seem to think about that kind of mechanism.
Also when we have been on camping trips where both boy scout and girl scout troops were involved, the dads who were supervising were much more *hands off* than the moms of the girls.
Interestingly, I think there is a big difference between girl scouts and boy scouts mainly because moms think about supervising differently than dads do.
My experience is primarily with girl scouts and the guidelines are very clear both in terms of safety and in terms of not allowing bullying (although cliques can form and bullying can happen). I think gs leaders just tend to be more aware of this and try to discourage it. For example, when we choose our patrols now, we divide up the girls and they pick out of a hat, but we do also separate kids who are best friends so that they all get to work with each other. The boy scout troops don't seem to think about that kind of mechanism.
Also when we have been on camping trips where both boy scout and girl scout troops were involved, the dads who were supervising were much more *hands off* than the moms of the girls.
This may be true, but we have several moms that are den leaders, and several moms who bring their kids to the meetings. It isn't always dads with boys, and moms with girls.
It is an all volunteer organization. Again, have you taken your concerns to the committee or the cubmaster? Better yet, have you volunteered on the committee or at the den level? It is what you make of it.
We have three boys with a large age difference, and our experience with our local troop has declined over the years. We have definitely have noticed the lack of adult organization and leadership, which is exactly what the Scouts are supposed to stand for.
I think a lot of parents assume that just by enrolling their boys in Scouts, they will magically behave better. Our pack has some of the worst-behaved boys I have ever witnessed because the parents just will not step in. At the crossover ceremony last wee, which is supposed to be a serious, solemn ceremony, my husband kept muttering, "Give me that kid for one week and he won't be running his mouth like that anymore." But it's no surprise, because their parents were all standing at the back, chatting away like it was cocktail hour.
It's not that we think our kids are so much better than everyone, and we weren't standing at the back of the room like prigs. But this was surprisingly bad. Next year my husband is going to help out as a den leader, but your experience really will depend on the parent leadership.
Interestingly, I think there is a big difference between girl scouts and boy scouts mainly because moms think about supervising differently than dads do.
My experience is primarily with girl scouts and the guidelines are very clear both in terms of safety and in terms of not allowing bullying (although cliques can form and bullying can happen). I think gs leaders just tend to be more aware of this and try to discourage it. For example, when we choose our patrols now, we divide up the girls and they pick out of a hat, but we do also separate kids who are best friends so that they all get to work with each other. The boy scout troops don't seem to think about that kind of mechanism.
Also when we have been on camping trips where both boy scout and girl scout troops were involved, the dads who were supervising were much more *hands off* than the moms of the girls.
We have kids in both organizations. We are just ending a long involvement with girl scouts. I think this can really vary from troop to troop, but there ended up being a ton of cliqueishness with the leader not really trying to stop it.
I was also a coleader in another troop. The person I was coleading with did little to supervise her daughter's often disruptive behaviors. It just really varies.
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