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Do you have an adolescent who is suffering from severe blushing? There is some help available and too many times we tend to ignore how uncomfortable the blusher can be. This is the worse case scenario.
I have never heard of such a disorder, or known it could cause such anguish. Not to sound judgmental, but it is rather shocking to me that something like excessive blushing could lead to the suicide of a young man who was obviously intelligent and very loved, when there are people dealing with horrible, disfiguring, and terminal illnesses. Especially when he wasn't being bullied or tormented about it. But obviously I'm not the one in his shoes, and apparently blushing caused him a great deal of anxiety. It's so sad and seems so unnecessary to lose a life over though.
I know, I've had this, too. It first began in high school. Like everyone, I was nervous doing oral reports. Like everyone, a blush reaction would occur. But it was the extent of the blush----I literally turned a deep purple. The flushing came from the neck up, up to my ears. Please, its not funny.
I had this happen many times over the years, usually when speaking in front of a group. Its a different kind of blush, unlike the blush most of us get from time to time. And its self-feeding. You can feel the heat and know you are blushing, and feel so embarassed, you flush even more. I had people tell me the only thing you could see were my eyes, and just the white part. Once, when giving an oral report in college, I had an instructor call an ambulance, he thought I was having a stroke.
The thing is, I was NOT that anxious about the speach, presentation, etc, I was anxious about literally turning purple in front of an audience. I tried to hide it as much as I could, by wearing high necks, turtlenecks, and wearing thick, light makeup, but it still came through.
I did find a solution, valium. I know, valium is a much maligned drug, but it has its place. Long term, chronic use can cause problems, but ocassional doses does a wonder of good when I have to face down audiences.
I grieve deeply for this young man. Its apparent the parents did all they could. Perhaps, looking back, they might have chosen to take him out of school for awhile until he found a solution. I'm so glad to see a Facebook page for this subject. Perhaps if he had just realized he wasn't alone, that would have helped. Lets now try to help others.
I have never heard of such a disorder, or known it could cause such anguish. Not to sound judgmental, but it is rather shocking to me that something like excessive blushing could lead to the suicide of a young man who was obviously intelligent and very loved, when there are people dealing with horrible, disfiguring, and terminal illnesses. Especially when he wasn't being bullied or tormented about it. But obviously I'm not the one in his shoes, and apparently blushing caused him a great deal of anxiety. It's so sad and seems so unnecessary to lose a life over though.
Perhaps he was being bullied about it?
In my case, I was heckled, taunted and tormented throughout most of high school. Being forced to make a speech put me in the position of the deer in the headlights. I couldn't escape, so I became frightened. please realize, the flushing is not something under the suffer's control. It involuntary. I can't just tell myself "don't flush"
And, realize, like I said in my other post, its a different kind of flushing. Its deep, intense, rises from the chest up, includes the ears and even scalp. Its more of a purple to deep, reddish-blue-purple. Its not "just flushing"
In my case, I was heckled, taunted and tormented throughout most of high school. Being forced to make a speech put me in the position of the deer in the headlights. I couldn't escape, so I became frightened. please realize, the flushing is not something under the suffer's control. It involuntary. I can't just tell myself "don't flush"
And, realize, like I said in my other post, its a different kind of flushing. Its deep, intense, rises from the chest up, includes the ears and even scalp. Its more of a purple to deep, reddish-blue-purple. Its not "just flushing"
I'm sorry for what you had to go through, and I'm not trying to make light out of anyone's suffering, just trying to understand it. The article I read said that he wasn't bullied, that he had many friends and a good social life...his friends would comment on his blushing, but one friend was quoted as them all thinking it was "cute," or something like that. I realize to this young man, it wasn't cute or funny at all, but the feelings of shame and humiliation were coming from inside himself, not from other people. It sounds like this is primarily an anxiety disorder more than a physical one, especially when you look at all the people that are living with debilitating and disfiguring physical conditions. I just think it is sad when anxiety disorders are treatable. It just seems like he didn't have to die because of this.
The kids in middle school would turn out the lights in class and watch me "glow in the dark." I didn't like it, but accepted it and laughed along with them.
I feel bad that this boy could not accept his idiosyncrasies . . . most people are picked on in some way - made fun of, taunted . . . some people are more sensitive to ridicule than others.
I don't think surgery is the answer to this problem or any other similar problem . . .In this case, relaxation techniques, EFT, and self-acceptance might have been helpful . . .it's such a shame. I feel bad for his family. I hope they find peace.
I am sharing my experiences to foster better understanding of this disorder, not to open up my particular experiences to any discussion.
First, I just want to help awareness of this disorder. It really does exist, and can be debilating. Who knows what the causes are? They do vary, I'm sure, from person to person. Despite the reason, it does happen. I felt so isolated. Like the young man, I found myself avoiding certain situations that could trigger it, such as public speaking. Once, in college, I declined to do an oral report and simply took the hit on my grade, I calculated that without the report I would receive a B, instead of an A, for me, that was an acceptable tradeoff. If there had been more awareness of this disorder, and more acceptance, perhaps I would have felt more comfortable approaching the instructor and coming up with a solution rather than just blowing off the assignment. Instead, I figured I would get the same response I always did, oh, come on, everyone gets a little nervous. That wasn't "a little nervous." Counseling didn't help, either, because they took the same attitude.
Finally, our family doctor was sympathetic. He gave me a low dose of valium, which I only took in such situations. I didn't take it on a routine basis. I still use it ocassionally when certain situations would trigger it.
I've never seen anything validating this condition until now. If perhaps I had read that others experienced it, it could have helped. Instead, I suffered in silence.I'm glad to see at last this condition is being recognized.
I'm sure there are many medical conditions which cause tremendous pain and embarrassment which most of us don't know about or understand. It is so sad when people assume it can be a small inconvenience and we aren't tough enough to "take it in stride".
Like somebody who perspires so much they are drenched, or somebody with really bad BO. These are medical problems.
Years ago I started having unbelievable foot pain. Once in church I even was crying from the pain and had to get up and leave. I got all sorts of "advice" about ill fitting shoes, orthodics, creams, etc and was told "we all have foot pain, you just have to suck it up". I was 45 years old and not some dippy kid without a clue.
Turns out I had tumors in the bottom of my feet and had to have surgery. Eventually it was diagnosed as neuropathy years before I had my first sign of diabetes. Both my mother and brother ended up with the same thing and they had been the worse about "you aren't buying the right kind of shoes" or "toughen up the soles of your feet by walking barefoot and you will be just fine".
So before we say "oh this has happened to me but I just laughed at it" please be aware it might be a serious medical condition which is causing someone a great deal of anguish.
I'm sure there are many medical conditions which cause tremendous pain and embarrassment which most of us don't know about or understand. It is so sad when people assume it can be a small inconvenience and we aren't tough enough to "take it in stride".
Like somebody who perspires so much they are drenched, or somebody with really bad BO. These are medical problems.
Years ago I started having unbelievable foot pain. Once in church I even was crying from the pain and had to get up and leave. I got all sorts of "advice" about ill fitting shoes, orthodics, creams, etc and was told "we all have foot pain, you just have to suck it up". I was 45 years old and not some dippy kid without a clue.
Turns out I had tumors in the bottom of my feet and had to have surgery. Eventually it was diagnosed as neuropathy years before I had my first sign of diabetes. Both my mother and brother ended up with the same thing and they had been the worse about "you aren't buying the right kind of shoes" or "toughen up the soles of your feet by walking barefoot and you will be just fine".
So before we say "oh this has happened to me but I just laughed at it" please be aware it might be a serious medical condition which is causing someone a great deal of anguish.
I am sorry the neuropathy happened to you, but I have the same issue as the boy in the article and it is not remotely the same thing. And to be perfectly honest, part of growing up means learning to accept who you are, good, bad and indifferent. Chronic, recurrent blushing is annoying, it can be embarrassing (if you let it) and can make you stand out. So what? So can being tall, short, skinny, fat, or any other thing. People who are very tall (like my brother) frequently get teased for it, and they have no options. So they learn to deal with it.
There are treatment options, some very serious, if people are bothered to the extent that they want to pursue those things. But this boy was NOT bullied. He killed himself because he choose to. Maybe he had another undiagnosed mental illness, maybe he was actually trying to make a statement, maybe something else was at play, but playing up the pity card scares me in that it would encourage others to make the same STUPID choice.
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