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Those people went to your house and had the audacity to launder USED CLOTHES FROM A THRIFT SHOP in your machines, instead of just taking them home?I do not understand how some people are raised. They must have been raised by savages. I hope nobody on this forum is raising their children to act like this. If I found out my kids acted like this in someone's house, I'd be devastated.I hope I am raising my kids to be respectfuland well-mannered.
I've never had any houseguests who behaved so piggishly as the OP is describing, nor has anyone else ever told me such stories. I'm thinking there's a bit of exaggeration going on here.
First of all, OP, I would suggest when these people propose visiting you again, do not lie and say you will be out of town, etc. There's a big chance you will be found out, and that could destroy your relationship for a long time. Say something like "we're both so busy with work/school/whatever that we can only give you a few days". Possibly you could keep them over a long weekend, something like that. That way, if they don't offer to take you out to eat (which they should), you won't feel quite so put out. As has been pointed out, it is not uncommon to "put up" houseguests for a weekend, complete with meals. At a minimum, you could suggest going out to eat, Dutch treat.
Next, I would say that is is not unreasonable for these people to do laundry on a 10 day vacation, whether it is clothes they brought with them or bought somewhere, including a thrift store. Your husband should lighten up.
People who don't have kids often think kids who are behaving normally are "out of control". Now, I'm not discounting that these kids may have been out of control, just drawing from my treasue trove of experience with people who don't have kids. I am friends/related to several childless couples. When it is time to go to bed, make a show of turning out lights, turn down the TV by yourself if you have to, let it be known you want it quiet. The parents may appreciate that.
If you want some "couple time" with these people, set up a game table or movie in another room of the house for the kids; the adults can do something else.
I've never had any houseguests who behaved so piggishly as the OP is describing, nor has anyone else ever told me such stories. I'm thinking there's a bit of exaggeration going on here.
First of all, OP, I would suggest when these people propose visiting you again, do not lie and say you will be out of town, etc. There's a big chance you will be found out, and that could destroy your relationship for a long time. Say something like "we're both so busy with work/school/whatever that we can only give you a few days". Possibly you could keep them over a long weekend, something like that. That way, if they don't offer to take you out to eat (which they should), you won't feel quite so put out. As has been pointed out, it is not uncommon to "put up" houseguests for a weekend, complete with meals. At a minimum, you could suggest going out to eat, Dutch treat.
Next, I would say that is is not unreasonable for these people to do laundry on a 10 day vacation, whether it is clothes they brought with them or bought somewhere, including a thrift store. Your husband should lighten up.
People who don't have kids often think kids who are behaving normally are "out of control". Now, I'm not discounting that these kids may have been out of control, just drawing from my treasue trove of experience with people who don't have kids. I am friends/related to several childless couples. When it is time to go to bed, make a show of turning out lights, turn down the TV by yourself if you have to, let it be known you want it quiet. The parents may appreciate that.
If you want some "couple time" with these people, set up a game table or movie in another room of the house for the kids; the adults can do something else.
People who don't have kids often think kids who are behaving normally are "out of control". Now, I'm not discounting that these kids may have been out of control, just drawing from my treasue trove of experience with people who don't have kids. I am friends/related to several childless couples. When it is time to go to bed, make a show of turning out lights, turn down the TV by yourself if you have to, let it be known you want it quiet. The parents may appreciate that.
If you want some "couple time" with these people, set up a game table or movie in another room of the house for the kids; the adults can do something else.
I think there's a lot of truth to the bolded. People who aren't around kids might have a hard time adapting to the sudden energy and noise level that 3 active kids can bring into a house. I noticed how the OP never mentioned any damages resulting from these "out of control" kids, which is a miracle considering they were "running wild" in her house for 10 days straight. Hmmm.
However, what parent would allow their 3 kids to stay up until midnight (and later) in somebody else's home - especially if the host had gone to bed at 10:00? I could understand it if they had gotten back late after a trip to an amusement park. But according to the OP this was an every night thing for them and it's not like they had an infant that needed a middle of the night feeding/diaper change. They seriously didn't know that was rude? Really?
And they thought it was o.k. to use the OP's computer without even asking? Again, really?
I think the OP has made some valid points about these people even if she did engage in a little exaggeration here and there..
I think there's a lot of truth to the bolded. People who aren't around kids might have a hard time adapting to the sudden energy and noise level that 3 active kids can bring into a house. I noticed how the OP never mentioned any damages resulting from these "out of control" kids, which is a miracle considering they were "running wild" in her house for 10 days straight. Hmmm.
However, what parent would allow their 3 kids to stay up until midnight (and later) in somebody else's home - especially if the host had gone to bed at 10:00? I could understand it if they had gotten back late after a trip to an amusement park. But according to the OP this was an every night thing for them and it's not like they had an infant that needed a middle of the night feeding/diaper change. They seriously didn't know that was rude? Really?
And they thought it was o.k. to use the OP's computer without even asking? Again, really?
I think the OP has made some valid points about these people even if she did engage in a little exaggeration here and there..
Agreed. The OP should have logged off her computer and put a password on it.
I don't think it's fair to accuse me of exaggerating simply because my guests did not know how to behave appropriately in my home. Why do I have to spend 10 days worrying and stressing about putting passwords on my PC, telling the kids to stop doing this or that over and over? These parents should know how to behave in my house and how to have their kids behave in my house, or they should have the foresight to NOT STAY WITH US period, let alone for 10 days.
If I had kids, I would be MORTIFIED if my kids behaved like this in someone's house. MORTIFIED.
You may be right about one thing: Maybe when they go visit people with kids, all of the aforementioned things are perfectly acceptable. Things like remote controls flying, slamming doors, slamming the toilet seat down, dragging chairs across my wood floors for no reason, staying up until midnight singing the theme from SpongeBob, the kids using my computer at 11 pm to watch youtube vids while the parents are in the far-off living room watching TV & tuning out the kids, washing clothes from thrift stores.
Is this something that parent-hosts find OK? If so, then I guess I need to ban people with kids from staying at my house altogether.
OP, you are completely in the right to think your house guests were rude.
If they didn't offer to help pay, they should have at least been very active in helping you cook and clean up. If not for some meals, they should have completely planned and orchestrated some of the meals, or at least taken you out to eat a few times, and paid for it.
Using your electronic devices without your permission is way past rude IMO. That's completely unacceptable and like other posters have mentioned, I wouldn't let that happen more than once. If I had no way of monitoring them, I would have kept all my devices out of reach and out of sight for the duration of their stay.
Lots of laundry I can understand for a family of 5 with kids that get dirty all the time, but they should have asked your permission and gotten their own detergent or something.
True. But she really shouldn't have to do that. And respectful guests would never put her in the position of having to do that...
Yes to all the above. However, I wouldn't have waited until the 10 days were up. I'd have put a password on it after the first incident. And what on earth is wrong with saying "Please ask before using the computer?", either?
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