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Old 07-15-2012, 09:51 PM
 
Location: J-ville, FL
218 posts, read 421,390 times
Reputation: 329

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My older sister who has borderline personality disorder and pibolar disorder. She's 27. The list of things she's done over those past 27 years would go on and on. She was very abusive to myself and my younger sister. Would tell us if we told mom and dad she would kill all of us. She was physically and emotionally abusive to us. She would never take her meds, and is still not on them. One time she held my little 4 year old sister under the water to see how much she would scratch her arm to be let up. She thought it was interesting. She also would scream at my little sis to cuss. After screaming my little sis did what she was told. Older sis poured dish liquid down her throat until she threw up. I only realized what was going on when I heard the vomiting. Then I'd run back there to try to stop her, only for her to threaten my life if I told. She would put knives up to oir throats. Throw knives at us. These things would take place whip mom and dad were gone. She was baked acted many times. Went to therapists. Nothing helped. Fast forward my older sis was still present at family functions. The list of her awfulness goes on into eternity. Keep in mind, after going through this together myself and my little sis are super tight! We read eachothers minds and can't go more than a few days without talking. So here is where **** hits the fan. Little sis and I were having a deep conversation one night. And it came out..... Little sis was also sexually abused by older sister from ages 5 to 9. Needless to say I fell apart. I wanted to kill my older sis. Long story short us 2 girls and my parents are disowning her. She accepts no responsibility for ANY of the things she did. She blames us. Little sis and I have decided we are the only ones. Family hasn't spoken to her in 3 weeks..... And it's been peaceful. We don't miss her. Not one bit.
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Old 07-15-2012, 10:06 PM
 
578 posts, read 1,013,037 times
Reputation: 654
I think your perfectly justified. Sounds like she's done enough damage
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Old 07-15-2012, 10:15 PM
 
375 posts, read 375,757 times
Reputation: 521
When I first saw the title, I said in my mind "There is never a good reason to disowning your child." However, after reading your post my opinion changed dramatically. Your family had every right to disown her and you should throw her in an asylum where she needs to be and can't hurt anyone anymore.

I am so sorry you and your sister went through such terrible things in your childhood.
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Old 07-15-2012, 11:25 PM
 
2,873 posts, read 5,339,078 times
Reputation: 4316
If anything, it sounds like this was a step your parents needed to do much earlier to protect you and your sister.

You can love your child, but I think there is a point where enough is simply enough. Cutting toxic people out of your life is a survival tactic, nothing more, and there should be no judgement to it.
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Old 07-16-2012, 01:39 AM
 
7,746 posts, read 14,594,129 times
Reputation: 10362
Did the older sister ever pulled any stunts with your parents, OP? Or did she act the role of a perfect angel in front of them?

I did wonder at first if this would be related to a recent Disowning child thread... but no, this actually sounds serious... very sad. Sorry to hear what you and little sister gone through.
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Old 07-16-2012, 02:01 AM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,663 posts, read 8,143,327 times
Reputation: 3728
Quote:
Originally Posted by saywha View Post
My older sister who has borderline personality disorder and pibolar disorder. She's 27. The list of things she's done over those past 27 years would go on and on. She was very abusive to myself and my younger sister. Would tell us if we told mom and dad she would kill all of us. She was physically and emotionally abusive to us. She would never take her meds, and is still not on them. One time she held my little 4 year old sister under the water to see how much she would scratch her arm to be let up. She thought it was interesting. She also would scream at my little sis to cuss. After screaming my little sis did what she was told. Older sis poured dish liquid down her throat until she threw up. I only realized what was going on when I heard the vomiting. Then I'd run back there to try to stop her, only for her to threaten my life if I told. She would put knives up to oir throats. Throw knives at us. These things would take place whip mom and dad were gone. She was baked acted many times. Went to therapists. Nothing helped. Fast forward my older sis was still present at family functions. The list of her awfulness goes on into eternity. Keep in mind, after going through this together myself and my little sis are super tight! We read eachothers minds and can't go more than a few days without talking. So here is where **** hits the fan. Little sis and I were having a deep conversation one night. And it came out..... Little sis was also sexually abused by older sister from ages 5 to 9. Needless to say I fell apart. I wanted to kill my older sis. Long story short us 2 girls and my parents are disowning her. She accepts no responsibility for ANY of the things she did. She blames us. Little sis and I have decided we are the only ones. Family hasn't spoken to her in 3 weeks..... And it's been peaceful. We don't miss her. Not one bit.
Your sister is mentally ill and can't take full responsibility for all her actions. Your parents should have been more proactive in getting her mental health care at an earlier age. Put some responsibility of your sisters actions on your parents and not all of it on your sister. Your parents could not have been that blind, if all of these serious things were going on, your parents should have been picking up on the behavior. Your sister doing this when your parents were gone is not a good excuse to relieve them of responsibility. Behaviors do not change that drastic in a few hours time, there would be continual behavior in someone who repeatedly has these tendencies.
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Old 07-16-2012, 07:31 AM
 
47,528 posts, read 65,010,931 times
Reputation: 22370
I think she was long over-due for a disowning. Too bad it took so long -- but better late than never.
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Old 07-16-2012, 08:06 AM
 
1,424 posts, read 5,041,517 times
Reputation: 1953
Quote:
Originally Posted by asitshouldbe View Post
Your sister is mentally ill and can't take full responsibility for all her actions. Your parents should have been more proactive in getting her mental health care at an earlier age. Put some responsibility of your sisters actions on your parents and not all of it on your sister. Your parents could not have been that blind, if all of these serious things were going on, your parents should have been picking up on the behavior. Your sister doing this when your parents were gone is not a good excuse to relieve them of responsibility. Behaviors do not change that drastic in a few hours time, there would be continual behavior in someone who repeatedly has these tendencies.
The OP said she had been to therapy, prescribed meds, Baker Acted, etc. and the daughter would not cooperate or comply. Parents can only do so much.

OP, hope you and your family can heal and move forward.
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Old 07-16-2012, 12:12 PM
 
13,500 posts, read 17,516,171 times
Reputation: 16369
didee...that's true...so they obviously KNEW that she was unstable....were I one of the children suffering horribly like these 2 were...as an adult I'd probably be just as angry at my parents for leaving us alone with her (essentially turning a blind eye) as I was at my sister....OP, I hope you can be happy now...in whatever desision you decide works for you and your sis.....I'm also hoping that your parents will care enough for their own to try and get some professional help for your sister, instead of "disowning her"...or again, as they did with you...turning a blind eye.
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Old 07-16-2012, 03:21 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,485 posts, read 24,123,446 times
Reputation: 27826
I agree, the parents should have done more to protect the other two children. For example, if they knew she had mental problems and were trying to get her the help she needed as described above, they should not have left her with the other chldren, unsupervised, or left her caring for the younger children.

If I were the OP, I think I'd be wanting to disown my parents as well. They should have been there to protect the younger children, and they just weren't.
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