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I just want to address the "hot" comment. I can't remember the last time I watched a tv show or movie where a guy referred to a girl as "pretty". Even on the disney channel (suite life of zack and cody) the boys would refer to girls as "hot". So while I would not be happy if there were a 10yo boy calling my 8yo girl "hot", I think it's more of a generational thing.
I'd just keep an eye on them and maybe try to "spy" on them by pretending to be doing something outside in earshot of them and try to get a feel of their conversations and how the boy interacts with your daughter.
Things like that happened back in the day,,I can remember being in the 4th grade and liking a girl, not sure if I called her "HOT" though but I knew she was. LOL!
So we have a 10 (soon to be 11, I assume?) year-old boy hitting on an 8 year-old?
The whole thing creeps me out, especially now that you have posted some info on the boys family.
When I was 10, (which was only about 9 years ago, for what it's worth lol) No one was interested in girls (and certainly not YOUNGER girls), not even in a cute, passing notes, kinda way. We just wanted to play with our Digimon and stay away from the weird, mean, girls.
The boy sounds like bad news. There are bad seeds in every school, every class, bad families have bad children, it's an endless cycle, unfortunately. All you can do is be aware, which is what you are doing, so I commend you.
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but I have serious apprehension especially considering this boy has had no problems telling all the younger kids in the neighborhood that there's no such thing as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny in the past,
This ^^^^^^ is my biggest red flag. The boy seems like an early stage defiler. You know those troubled kids who sat in the back off the bus and told all kinds of horrible stuff to the young kids, and took pleasure in corrupting them?
Call me what you please, but this whole thing seems like bad news bears to me.
Which is why I fear having kids! I've seen how a kids life can be changed based on ONE other kid or person, some % make it through life without ever having to interact with other perverted kids and can discover things at their own pace.
A mom friend of mine had to have a convo with her 3rd grade girl last year about sex. Why? because a girl with an older sibling told her all about it and how she caught the older sibling (14) having sex with her boyfriend..
Did it ruin this kids life? Nah, but she knows way more than she should !
And this is a lot of what I'm trying to avoid... I know we'll have to have "The Talk" with her a little sooner than we'd probably like simply because she's showing early signs of hitting puberty and all, but again, this kid's track record tells me that when he gains the knowledge of what "sex" is or how reproduction works that he'd be the type to start telling everyone... Whether his motive would be trying to be "cool" (which seems to be his M.O.), or something worse, who knows?
This is where I am at too. I remember being in fifth grade myself, and the boys at that age are starting to learn how to act like their older brothers, cousins, etc. I don't think any 5th grade boy should be playing with an 8 year old at all, except for maybe something like a group activity, kick ball or whatever...
And this neighborhood "group" started hanging out 3 years ago and it wasn't such a big deal... But now its getting to the point where the age separation is significant as far as having a kid that will be entering middle school before long, hanging with kids that are still in elementary school.... Again, it used to just be odd, but whatever.... In light of recent events though its set off warning sirens...
The kid comes to our door literally every night asking if my daughter can play. I'm trying to be diplomatic and figure out a way to enforce my rule, regarding my daughter not playing with him alone, without him knowing that that is the rule (if you know what I mean)... Thinking of telling him, "Look, if my daughter is already outside playing? Then she can play. (because she'd be outside playing with other kids more than likely). If she isn't already outside then its because she can't play. No need to knock on our door, okay?"...
And then maybe if that doesn't have the desired effect I'll just be more direct in telling him my issue. I just don't know whether it would be better in that scenario to talk to the boy or the parents. I know if it were me, I'd rather have another parent come to me and tell me what's going on and let me talk to my child... But again, I don't sense his parents are going to be winning any awards any time soon for "outstanding parenting"....
Last edited by Rhett_Butler; 07-19-2012 at 08:27 AM..
I don't see anything wrong with being upfront with him. Just let him know that because of the age difference, she can only play if it's a "group" thing. There were plenty of kids I knew in early middle school making out etc..especially if they were dating older boys. I wouldn't underestimate how much times have changed. They are learning multiplication is 2nd grade now, Go with your instincts, within reason.
6 years ago when dd#2 was 8, going out meant they liked each other and nothing more. Dd "Went out" with several boys but they never so much as went to a lemonade stand together. It had the meaning "I like you". Period. Just get used to the lingo. "Dating" isn't dating at that age. It just means, for this week, or maybe just today, we like each other.
Given their ages, I would not worry about this. I used to tease my dd and ask where they "went". She's say MOOOOOM, we don't actaully go out....
The only rule to this game seems to be you can't "go out" with two people at the same time but you can continue playing with whoever you want. If it has the same meaning it had 6 years ago with this age group, it's much ado about nothing. It just means they like teach other but they could each like different kids next week. There was absolutly no drama when they "broke up". Breaking up usually meant one or the started "going out" with someone else. It was no big deal.
In middle school nearby, doors in the bathroom had to be removed because kids were having oral sex in there and anywhere else they could hide away. Epidemic of STDs in the throat.
our children have lost their innocence and it is so sad.
Not to say there isn't still classic going out as described above. But I wouldn't take the chance. Group play under observation only. And she can say "she is too young to 'go out'".
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