U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-21-2012, 09:56 AM
 
Location: The Midwest
2,953 posts, read 3,471,791 times
Reputation: 5290

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
There is an error on your part- this was a semi-gentrified part of town that was a white ghetto not to long ago..This mother and daughter were classic white poor folks...They were a simple mother and daughter..The ten year old was not "having a little bit of fun" She was attempting to be older than she needed to be..The kid was talking about boys as if she were in her mid teens..This hood is full of single mothers - this was just an older one...a burn out...and I would be pretty sure there was no husband at home- I have seen these types around for years...

Okay- may as well be blunt- These people were common white trash and did not know any better...there are some people all they know is how to have sex and have a child and nothing more- The kid thought she looked cool- she did not look cool- it was pitiful.. The mother did not dress her "sexy" on purpose- she just did not know how to dress period. I would assume that what I viewed was the third generation of hopelessness and welfare....and stupid enough to think "sexy" is classy- they were low class and attempting to be "sexy"

I am sure that the child's peers were also part of this pre-mature "sexy" culture...I am not a hater- but experience tells me that these people are just plain dumb////// sorry if I sound like an elitist.
Better question is...why do you care? Talk about judgmental!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-21-2012, 10:59 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,503 posts, read 47,852,042 times
Reputation: 47614
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower View Post
Have you personally felt as if you need to look sexy or else you won't get a man? Because I'm a woman and I've NEVER once felt that way, nor have my teenage daughters or friends.

I think a 10 year old coloring her hair is ok. It's just one of those "pick your battles" things. It's just hair and the dye will come out sooner or later!
NO I certainly have not. You miss the point. Some women and now girls think that is the only way to attract a man's attention. Just the opposite way of how I feel and how we are raising our daughters.

And this is certainly one "battle" I would insist on. A 10 year old girl who is allowed to dye her hair is apt to think she has to change her natural state to be attractive. This is the wrong message. Now an older teen and of course grown women dye their hair for all sorts of reasons. I have nothing against that. I do it myself but we are trying to rush adulthood on our children and we as a society are not letting them be children until puberty. Dressing sexy, dyeing hair, hanging with older kids, not being supervised will come soon enough but not at 10. no way.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-21-2012, 01:01 PM
 
32,525 posts, read 33,024,025 times
Reputation: 32455
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
A 10 year old girl who is allowed to dye her hair is apt to think she has to change her natural state to be attractive.
Or maybe she just likes pink or blue or black or green and her parents aren't particularly up-tight about these things.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-21-2012, 11:19 PM
 
3,517 posts, read 6,101,154 times
Reputation: 5618
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saritaschihuahua View Post
I understand that poor people who cannot afford new clothes for their kids when these are growing excessively fast, can get some really cheap buys at Goodwill, which has a half-off sale on Mondays. A pair of shorts, can be 50 cents, $1.00, $1.50... Some of them with the label still on!!
It's not about being able to afford new clothing, it's about not seeing little kids in sexual contexts the way people on this thread are eager to do. You see that little girl in the shorts and think she's trying to be sexy, but the thought probably never crossed her mind. Should she have to start worrying about how others see her pubescent body because of what strangers at CVS might think of her?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-22-2012, 04:42 AM
 
885 posts, read 1,713,886 times
Reputation: 768
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnexpectedError View Post
It's not about being able to afford new clothing, it's about not seeing little kids in sexual contexts the way people on this thread are eager to do. You see that little girl in the shorts and think she's trying to be sexy, but the thought probably never crossed her mind. Should she have to start worrying about how others see her pubescent body because of what strangers at CVS might think of her?
I agree to a point. However there is a line that when crossed is too much no matter what. Keep in mind IMO it's not "hot" it's just gross.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-22-2012, 08:33 AM
 
7,300 posts, read 6,014,612 times
Reputation: 2866
The problem is that it's not just poor, intellectually incurious or uneducated women and girls who suffer from a multitude of life (survival and otherwise) problems that are dressing skimpily as if they were streetwalkers.

Women and girls from middle class and mega-rich backgrounds too, are dressing like streetwalkers. You can see them anywhere. In a club? The men have tops and jeans, and are covered up. The women? You don't need to bend down to see their *****, and their inflated breasts are sometimes all over the place. At a restaurant? Men are wearing tops and pants. The women? They've got minis up the wazoo, have their belly out, sometimes the crack of their ___ out, breasts out, makeup, girdles, colored hair, nails painted, toenails painted, eyebrows plucked, are depilated left, right, up and down, have applied a zillion creams, have paid through their ***** for plastic surgery to inflate parts of their body, minimize parts of their body, modify features, and sprayed themselves in clouds of perfume.

All this is horribly desperate!!! Yet this is all part of what women are expected to do to achieve the look society has yoked them with, like so many beasts of burden. And as for Hollywood? Oi vei. Just look at the Oscars. Backs out, behind out, breasts out, no underwear, BLING BLING BLING, nipples sticking out, this and that.

How the frik did we women get saddled with the bullsh*t of having to spend hours on crap to look like birds of paradise or sexual clowns. SEXUAL CLOWNS. And for WHAT? What's the reward we get for this crap?



Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
There is an error on your part- this was a semi-gentrified part of town that was a white ghetto not to long ago..This mother and daughter were classic white poor folks...They were a simple mother and daughter..The ten year old was not "having a little bit of fun" She was attempting to be older than she needed to be..The kid was talking about boys as if she were in her mid teens..This hood is full of single mothers - this was just an older one...a burn out...and I would be pretty sure there was no husband at home- I have seen these types around for years...

Okay- may as well be blunt- These people were common white trash and did not know any better...there are some people all they know is how to have sex and have a child and nothing more- The kid thought she looked cool- she did not look cool- it was pitiful.. The mother did not dress her "sexy" on purpose- she just did not know how to dress period. I would assume that what I viewed was the third generation of hopelessness and welfare....and stupid enough to think "sexy" is classy- they were low class and attempting to be "sexy"

I am sure that the child's peers were also part of this pre-mature "sexy" culture...I am not a hater- but experience tells me that these people are just plain dumb////// sorry if I sound like an elitist.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-22-2012, 08:48 AM
 
7,300 posts, read 6,014,612 times
Reputation: 2866
Well, let me clarify. It's not that she has to see herself this way. It's that it became a trend to sexualize women and kids, and now SOCIETY EXPECTS HER to act like a streetwalker and dress that way, and she is merely complying with the dictates of society, her mother (who follows the same dictates), etc.

The other day I was discussing the way people are judged by how they look, with a couple of co-workers. I had just explained to them that a local student musician who is a virtuoso of a wind instrument has been rejected by the music dept of a local university, and that my suspicion is that it's because he has dredlocks. I don't think it's a racial thing, because there are other dark skinned folks in the music dept and they are doing excellently, but the dredlocks are long and look out of place. He doesn't fit in very well with the rest of the folks (even the other dark-skinned folks).

People are judged on how they look, and people are pressured to look a certain way.

Is it harmful that he's not allowed to wear dredlocks to be part of the music dept? Maybe. Maybe not.

Do women who have their *** and ****** displayed, get better jobs? I dunno. Maybe? Maybe it's the opposite?

Do women who sexualize their daughters make them good future bargainers for things? (I offer you sex and you give me money)? I dunno.

Does dressing like sexual clowns help women in the long run, or does it cause men to think of women as sexual clowns? I dunno. Maybe men can separate the fact that women do endless things to their bodies and faces in the hopes of meeting a societal standard of sex and looks, from the person smart and good that resides behind all crap? Can they? Can men really separate who women are inside their hearts, souls and mind, from the makeup, creams, and silicone? I don't have the answer.

All I know is that everyone judges everyone else based on how they look. That's as far as I've gotten with this issue.





Quote:
Originally Posted by UnexpectedError View Post
It's not about being able to afford new clothing, it's about not seeing little kids in sexual contexts the way people on this thread are eager to do. You see that little girl in the shorts and think she's trying to be sexy, but the thought probably never crossed her mind. Should she have to start worrying about how others see her pubescent body because of what strangers at CVS might think of her?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-22-2012, 12:13 PM
 
1,732 posts, read 1,696,613 times
Reputation: 4027
It is terrible that women are judged for our looks to the extent that we are and I'm all for reasonable modesty standards for both sexes, but I hardly think makeup and nail polish make us sexual clowns.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-22-2012, 12:27 PM
 
7,300 posts, read 6,014,612 times
Reputation: 2866
I honestly don't know. Are men able to separate how we paint up and modify our bodies for their pleasure, and able to look beyond that at the intelligence, brilliance, and goodness in our souls? I honestly do not know.


Quote:
Originally Posted by forum_browser View Post
It is terrible that women are judged for our looks to the extent that we are and I'm all for reasonable modesty standards for both sexes, but I hardly think makeup and nail polish make us sexual clowns.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-22-2012, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,977 posts, read 13,078,665 times
Reputation: 14838
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saritaschihuahua View Post
Are men able to separate how we paint up and modify our bodies for their pleasure, and able to look beyond that at the intelligence, brilliance, and goodness in our souls? I honestly do not know.
I'm confused by this statement. Are you saying a woman's appearance is important because of what men would think of it?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top