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I have a daughter, age 3, going to be 4 in Sept. Her bedroom is right across from ours and we have a metal baby gate in her door way so she can not get out of her room. We do leave her bedroom door open and we have the following items to keep her company thru the night; a nightlight, a small fan and a CD player that plays baby sleep music.
My daughter has restless leg syndrome due to low iron and takes an oral iron liquid nightly. We also give her the time release melatonin to help her sleep. We do read her a book each before she goes to bed.
Every night between the hours of 12 am and 2 am, sometimes until 4 am, my daughter will wake up and cry out for us. The only way to get her to quiet down is for one of use to go into her room. Since I work and my wife stays at home, my wife is often the one that goes into the room. The problem is, as a result my wife never gets any sleep and is always edgy.
We can't just ignore her or she will scream louder. I can't wear ear plugs cuz I'll never wake up in time for work. My daughter is so used to mom going in her room, that's who she prefers 95% of the time even when I go in there to give mom a break. There's really no other rooms away from her room that we can go to and let her scream it out. When she wakes up it ranges from being hungry (she won't eat a full meal when we sit down and eat at 6 pm but we give her snacks prior to bed). If I don't get my sleep, I'm a groggy mess the next morning plus I work in a non a/c industrial area. Yes she's a spoiled little brat (I didn't spoil her).
I also have a 3 year old. She wakes in the night only around once per week now. Sometimes she has kicked off her covers and wants me to put them back on. Sometimes she has finished all of her water and needs more. Sometimes her pull-up is wet and keeping her from falling back asleep and she needs a change. Sometimes she wants to get up and use the potty. Sometimes she just wants me to rub her head for a minute - who knows, maybe she had a bad dream.
Anyway, I feel that parenting happens 24 hours per day, and it is my job to help her out with the things she needs at night as well as in the day, until she is able to take care of those needs independently. I don't expect her, at 3 years old, to be able to take care of those needs independently yet. The reality is, I still need to help her with that. I don't expect her to not have needs during the night either - I, myself, often wake up for a drink of water or to use the bathroom or to adjust the covers or just to snuggle up with my husband. I am able to do these things for myself and go back to sleep. Eventually, that will be true of my 3yo too, but not yet. My 6yo would often come into our bed in the middle of the night until about a year ago - some kids need that connection more than others. And now she is able to take care of her needs on her own at night 98% of the time and we don't find her coming to our bed anymore. Different kids have different kinds of needs at night, and I believe that fulfilling their need is the best way to eliminate it.
I have a daughter, age 3, going to be 4 in Sept. Her bedroom is right across from ours and we have a metal baby gate in her door way so she can not get out of her room. We do leave her bedroom door open and we have the following items to keep her company thru the night; a nightlight, a small fan and a CD player that plays baby sleep music.
My daughter has restless leg syndrome due to low iron and takes an oral iron liquid nightly. We also give her the time release melatonin to help her sleep. We do read her a book each before she goes to bed.
Every night between the hours of 12 am and 2 am, sometimes until 4 am, my daughter will wake up and cry out for us. The only way to get her to quiet down is for one of use to go into her room. Since I work and my wife stays at home, my wife is often the one that goes into the room. The problem is, as a result my wife never gets any sleep and is always edgy.
We can't just ignore her or she will scream louder. I can't wear ear plugs cuz I'll never wake up in time for work. My daughter is so used to mom going in her room, that's who she prefers 95% of the time even when I go in there to give mom a break. There's really no other rooms away from her room that we can go to and let her scream it out. When she wakes up it ranges from being hungry (she won't eat a full meal when we sit down and eat at 6 pm but we give her snacks prior to bed). If I don't get my sleep, I'm a groggy mess the next morning plus I work in a non a/c industrial area. Yes she's a spoiled little brat (I didn't spoil her).
Not sure what to do next....
I'm ignorant of the syndrome really but could she be in pain you think? But if not then you basically have to ignore it for a few weeks until she realizes you aren't giving in. Constantly going in at 2-3 is something she is expecting.
I agree with Adventive. While your daughter's needs might be inconvenient for you and your wife, they are real to her. How quickly does your daughter fall back to sleep after you go in her room? Does she want someone to stay with her until she falls back to sleep? Is that the problem? If so, consider putting a mattress on her floor for your wife to go back to sleep on or on your floor for your daughter to go back to sleep on. That way the waking time for your wife will be just a few minutes opposed to a few hours.
If she has Restless Legs Syndrome she is absolutely miserable and the iron treatment may not be working. Her activity in the middle of the night is not her fault and all the calming methods you have are not going to work. RLS is a neurological disorder. She's not a spoiled brat, she is a little girl who is so bloody uncomfortable at night she CAN'T sleep. She's screaming because she has no other way to express what she's feeling. The melatonin will not help her sleep through severe episodes. Mommy going into her room helps her because it's a distraction from what she's experiencing. She's being comforted.
Didn't you start a previous thread about her? I don't recall the RLS being mentioned. This is not her fault. Take her back to the doctor and tell them she is still suffering. Do it for HER not for you.
BTW: RLS syndrome can occur at any time and it can come on in the late afternoon. If she's not eating supper it may be because her legs are bothering her and that feeling is greater than her hunger. She's too distracted to eat. Please! Take her back to the doctor. Get a second opinion on treatment if necessary.
I believe she is distracted from eating and from peeing too. So it seems in the middle of the day when it's time to eat, she's fixated on watching a movie or playing that she doesn't want to stop to eat and she doesn't want to stop to go to the bathroom. I believe once she's in bed and she's not so distracted by playing or watching movies, does it then set in that she's hungry or has to pee.
I do agree I believe this is a habit of her calling out for mom in the middle of the night. Sometimes even after mom has gone in the room she doesn't fall back to sleep. She usually has no problems falling asleep when we put her in bed.
When my daughter was that age and had a habit of waking up screaming in the middle of the night, it was because she was in pain. We didn't realize it for a week or two, and thought she had just developed a new and inconsiderate pattern. Once we realized she had a problem that was causing her pain, we felt pretty guilty.
Please speak to a neurologist regarding the Melatonin. Very briefly, RLS results in low dopamine, and one of the most successful treatments is to give dopamine. Melatonin lowers dopamine. So in effect the Melatonin lowers the dopamine even more, which worsens the RLS symptoms which is why she can't sleep and has worse leg pain.
I think what these posters are saying is that this is a medical problem and not a behavioral problems. Each should be handled differently. I know what I would tell you if there was no medical problem but it is not appropriate action for a child with a medical problem.
I think what these posters are saying is that this is a medical problem and not a behavioral problems. Each should be handled differently. I know what I would tell you if there was no medical problem but it is not appropriate action for a child with a medical problem.
There may be BOTH. It is not unheard of for a behavioral problem to develop from a medical problem. It is a sticky wicket since it is hard to know. But no doubt, RLS is serious, painful and being still excaserbates it. So it must be dealt with seriously.
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