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I am not sure what is to be done.......I have raised my 3 yr. old granddaughter since she was 10 months old.......Her papa and I take good care of her and show her love and attention......Her father is in her life but her mother is not.........She is an attention seeker from females....She is scared of male figures except for her papa and dad......I am guessing, even though I am her nana she longs for that mother she never had......It is tough for her knowing other children have mothers and she does not.......She at times calls me mom even though she knows different.....Her cousins and school mates have both parents and it is tough for her to understand why she has only her dad and her nana and papa.........I feel they want what other children have and that is a mother and father.....
Without getting into too many details, I'm the big brother of a black kid in the Bronx. The mom says the same things about the biological father. Little does she realize that she is destroying a part of the child's life becoz she hates the man. This boy really likes me. He once cried when I was leaving. I have done a lot for him, and will continue. But this is the second time. Met with the same situation in Denver with another child. But then I don't know about the Dads. Perhaps they are drug addicts and scoundrels. I don't know.
I have been coaching youth sports for almost 40 years. It is easy to tell
which kids don't have a father around, especially girls. I regard part of
my responsibilities as a coach to be a father-figure. I believe she would
benefit from team sports, in many ways. You could volunteer with the
team, so you can monitor her time, and for her safety as well. It can be
tough to be a father and mother at the same time. Sounds like you are
actively working on the problem, keep up the good work.
Actually, the coach bond is what I'm afraid of. What happens when the class or season is over? How many coaches are going to take the time to stay in touch with her? Probably not many, if any. I'm afraid of her getting that attachment, and looking at a coach as a father figure, then suddenly never seeing him again or hearing from him again. As hard as she loves, I think that feeling of abandonment might be worse than not having it in the first place.
Although I must say, I think it is wonderful of you to look at being a father figure among your responsibilities as a coach. I'm glad that you are sensitive to the kids who don't have fathers in their lives.
I was a little touched that the dance teacher gave me his contact info. My dd is so crazy about him, I hope for her sake that he keeps his word. He did send her a message via my FB to tell her 'hi' and he missed her. She was beaming when I told her. That is actually the relationship that sparked a lot of concern for me, because of all the men she's liked, I think she cares about him the most. And he's not much more than a kid himself, early 20's if that. So I don't think he really understands where she is coming from and how to deal with her.
Without getting into too many details, I'm the big brother of a black kid in the Bronx. The mom says the same things about the biological father. Little does she realize that she is destroying a part of the child's life becoz she hates the man. This boy really likes me. He once cried when I was leaving. I have done a lot for him, and will continue. But this is the second time. Met with the same situation in Denver with another child. But then I don't know about the Dads. Perhaps they are drug addicts and scoundrels. I don't know.
Perhaps. While I'm sure there are some mothers out there who are keeping their kids' father away out of bitterness and hatred, I believe most women who love their children would not put them through that deliberately. More than likely, if the dad isn't around and he isn't dead, either he chooses not to be involved, or mom has good reason for keeping him away.
I can understand you being careful, but aren't YOU interested in a relationship for yourself that would then include her? That seems like a good solution to me.
I can understand you being careful, but aren't YOU interested in a relationship for yourself that would then include her? That seems like a good solution to me.
Sure. If it happens, that would be great. However, I'm not holding my breath or looking. When I look, I find garbage. I'd much rather my daughter deal with absentee father issues than nightmare stepfather issues. I've pretty much accepted that, outside of a miracle, I'm going to remain a single parent.
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