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I want to thank all of you for your responses. Getting input from other parents has been helpful. I think it would be best to just accept the situation as it is and make the best of it. I don't want to upset my husband and Mei Ling. It felt good to get this off my chest.
And to add my two cents -- to even try to get child support awarded to you since you are not parents and have no legal rights, you'd have to hire a lawyer and for less than 2 years of support, the lawyer would likely get more than you would - but most likely you have no chance anyway.