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Most parents are looking kind of haggard and frumpy by the time their kids are old enough to care about their looks. How many moms are more beautiful than their teenage daughters? Not many. I know there are people who do manage to stay fit and attractive, but let's face it, most people (both men and women) start to go downhill at a certain point.
So IMO the real problem is comparing siblings against each other, and how it feels to have a prettier/ thinner/ more athletic etc. sibling than yourself. That can set up a bad dynamic that carries well into adulthood.
Of course, it's what's inside that really counts!!
I think kids perceive their parents to be haggard anyway. Especially now that people are waiting longer to have kids, would a teenage girl really compare herself to her close to 50 year old mom?
As someone else mentioned I could see height as a big issue.
I also wonder about kids whose parents have had extensive plastic surgery. I think in many of these cases, these are the same parents who take their daughters for nose jobs for their 16th birthday.
I also wonder about kids whose parents have had extensive plastic surgery. I think in many of these cases, these are the same parents who take their daughters for nose jobs for their 16th birthday.
Yeah, those people are called "cosmetic surgery junkies."
I grew up in LA and knew quite a few people who had nose jobs - and that was it. Usually, the motivation is to tone down a feature that is too ethnically identifiable, eliciting comment such as "Oh, so you're Jewish, I sort of figured." With a huge population of Jews, Iranians, Armenians, and Italians, it's pretty darn common in metro areas such as LA. Also getting nose jobs were Hispanics with indigenous roots to get rid of their narrow, high bridged "beaky" noses. I've known a few Mexicans who went through the procedure.
But I do agree. The kid should be the one who expresses the desire to get a nose job, or other procedure. Some kids also get their ears tucked back or chin implants to avoid teasing.
I grew up in LA and knew quite a few people who had nose jobs - and that was it.
That's unusual. I'm thinking perhaps you only know about nose jobs because you're a man. Women tend to talk about their cosmetic surgeons over lunch in that town. I've known people with nose jobs, boob jobs, cheek implants, face lifts, ears pinned back, collagen in the lips, pretty much everything. It's a given, in some groups, that when a daughter hits 15 and has Mom's Original Nose, she gets to have her's done to match.
I've never understood LA's obsession with cosmetic surgery. When I see someone with a bump in their nose walking through Beverly Center I think, "Good for you. Rock it."
Thoughtless comments about children's looks are nothing new. My two aunts were pretty little girls - but my grandmother was stunning as a young woman. At a church picnic, an old beau encountered my grandparents with their young children:
"Sally, are THESE your children?? But you were so pretty when you were young!"
My aunts remembered that dumb comment all their lives.
I doubt anyone would tell a child they didn't get their parents' good looks.
It's interesting, though how some features are passed down and some seem to come from nowhere. My oldest has amazing blue/green eyes. I have no idea where she gets them from. No one in either of our families has eyes that color. My youngest has light blond hair even though my hair is black and my husband has brown hair. Other than one blond great aunt, I don't know who she could have gotten that gene from.
Meanwhile all three of my girls have my high cheekbones and my husband's big eyes. Thankfully, none of the three have inherited my muscular thighs. Genetics is so fascinating.
That wild card white blonde is a trait that has been passed in my family as well. Mom's dad had coal black hair and g-ma had brown hair but they had one dd with the white blonde hair even though her sibs were all dark headed. Then my sis was also a white blonde though my bro and I both have brown hair. The white headed aunt was unfortunately killed when she was 8 so I never met her but when I look at pix of her and of me, I looked just like her though I have dark brown hair and blue eyes and she had blonde hair and brown eyes but no one ever said that--they all claimed that I looked like another aunt on my dad's side which bothered me b/c that aunt had completely let herself go and was a bit of a slob at that time and I didn't realize that I didn't look just like her but I did take after my dad's side of the family more.
With my own kids I noticed that they went back and forth thru the years and looked more like dad sometimes and other times looked more like me. Nowadays when I show their pix, someone will say the older one looks more like me and the next time someone will say the younger def looks more like me and they switch off every time I swear.
I think kids perceive their parents to be haggard anyway. Especially now that people are waiting longer to have kids, would a teenage girl really compare herself to her close to 50 year old mom?
As someone else mentioned I could see height as a big issue.
I will be well into my 50's when my youngest reaches the teenage years.. Yaaaaaa!
I think my kids keep me young, I work out 4x a week, intense cardio & weights, but that doesn't gtd a thing! That is for sure my kids already think I am old and compared to most of their friends' parents, well, I kind of am ! Lol
I have old pics of my grandfather with his siblings and my gr grandparents...my grandfather and his siblings could have been models in this day and age! high cheek bones, strong jaw lines...I got none of that!
The ultimate example, two gorgeous parents who came together to make an unfortunate looking child. Not calling her Quasimodo or anything, but she's nowhere near the same league as her parents. But like any other mediocre looking person, she just has to deal with embracing her looks as they are and hope that she grows into her looks more as she ages.
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my kids already think I am old and compared to most of their friends' parents, well, I kind of am ! Lol
