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If the man does sue, it leave the child (no matter what age) thinking "I'm not worth having a relationship with" because, obviously, this man would not have given me the time of day except that mom lied. What the man has been tricked into is a father/child relationship. The question is is that relationship worth something?
I'm not a man and I can't wrap my brain around feeling that the money I spent was the issue if I found out my child wasn't, biologically, mine. My concern would be that the mother could, possibly, up and take the child away and I'd have no recourse. That she may be able to now, legally, take away something I've always considered mine. I guess women value relationships and men value DNA.
So, essentially, you are saying that there should be no consequence to the woman for her fraud.
So, essentially, you are saying that there should be no consequence to the woman for her fraud.
I'm not sure there should be. You can't go after her without hurting the child.
Let's put this in perspective here. We're talking about a child who has bonded to the father and, I would hope, the father to the child. Yes, he got tricked into loving a child. In what way would you like to punish the child for that? Unless only children with your DNA are worth loving, was a crime even committed here? (A lie yes but a crime? How many guys lie to hook up with a woman they want hopeing that she'll come to love them for who they are?) To punish the mother is to punish the child. That being the case, you do the least harm and the one person who does not deserve to be hurt here is the child. So, yes, until you figure out how to make her pay for the crime of duping you into bonding with a child in a way that doesn't harm the child, she gets away with it.
There just isn't a way to punish the fraud without punishing the child. And, on the bright side, you have this relationship with this child you never would have had otherwise. I would hope that's worth something.
That happens all the time, DNA in question or not. That is a different issue from paternity fraud.
And it's sad when it does. At least if it is your child, you have legal recourse. My concern would be that if the DNA doesn't match, dad would have no recourse. That's the real issue here. We need to make that once your name is on that birth certificate, it takes you giving up your parental rights to get it off not mom saying "Oops....I got the wrong dad".
And it's sad when it does. At least if it is your child, you have legal recourse.
Maybe. I know fathers in this situation who have no recourse whatsoever because the mom has disappeared with the child.
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My concern would be that if the DNA doesn't match, dad would have no recourse. That's the real issue here. We need to make that once your name is on that birth certificate, it takes you giving up your parental rights to get it off not mom saying "Oops....I got the wrong dad".
Kids need both parents.
So true. I wish the courts actually believed and enforced that.
I'm not sure there should be. You can't go after her without hurting the child.
Let's put this in perspective here. We're talking about a child who has bonded to the father and, I would hope, the father to the child. Yes, he got tricked into loving a child. In what way would you like to punish the child for that? Unless only children with your DNA are worth loving, was a crime even committed here? (A lie yes but a crime? How many guys lie to hook up with a woman they want hopeing that she'll come to love them for who they are?) To punish the mother is to punish the child. That being the case, you do the least harm and the one person who does not deserve to be hurt here is the child. So, yes, until you figure out how to make her pay for the crime of duping you into bonding with a child in a way that doesn't harm the child, she gets away with it.
There just isn't a way to punish the fraud without punishing the child. And, on the bright side, you have this relationship with this child you never would have had otherwise. I would hope that's worth something.
If you break the law .... for example commit burglary, assault someone, etc., a judge could send you to jail with no thought for how it might affect a child. But, for you, defrauding a man for, what will be, thousands of dollars merits no sanction "for the sake of the child". Seems to me that the child is a convenient excuse here.
Maybe. I know fathers in this situation who have no recourse whatsoever because the mom has disappeared with the child.
So true. I wish the courts actually believed and enforced that.
Unfortunately, and this thread proves it, when it comes to children men have no rights other than to pay and to keep paying. Women's rights also include, apparently, the right to defraud men with impunity.
If you break the law .... for example commit burglary, assault someone, etc., a judge could send you to jail with no thought for how it might affect a child. But, for you, defrauding a man for, what will be, thousands of dollars merits no sanction "for the sake of the child". Seems to me that the child is a convenient excuse here.
Lying to someone in a romantic relationship isn't a crime. If it were, there'd be A LOT of people in jail. Most of the guys I dated would be in jail. Is it a crime to think one man is the father or your child and it turns out he's not? Is it a crime to tell a man he's the father hoping he will love the child when he finds out he's not? Wrong, yes. A crime???
The problem here is that a child is involved and the child thinks of the man as dad and the man thinks of the child as his. The truth is, the child can still be his without sharing his DNA. It's a choice. However, the law will not let you walk away from responsibility for a child once you have established yourself as the child's father.
The cases that baffle me are the ones where men never knew about the child until they got their wages garnisheed and they still can't stop the payments when it's shown the child is not theirs. THIS is fraud plain and simple.
Is it a crime to tell a man he's the father hoping he will love the child when he finds out he's not? .
Any woman who would do that should get massive amounts of therapy before she even thinks of having a child.
Because if you have a child and you "hope" a man will love that child it does a massive disservice to the poor kid. Who certainly deserves more than a mother who is just "hoping" he'll have a dad who loves him. If she's thinking that she shouldn't be procreating because she's creating kids who are at the mercy of Mom and her thoroughly insane way of picking a father to her children.
Lying to someone in a romantic relationship isn't a crime. If it were, there'd be A LOT of people in jail. Most of the guys I dated would be in jail. Is it a crime to think one man is the father or your child and it turns out he's not? Is it a crime to tell a man he's the father hoping he will love the child when he finds out he's not? Wrong, yes. A crime???
The problem here is that a child is involved and the child thinks of the man as dad and the man thinks of the child as his. The truth is, the child can still be his without sharing his DNA. It's a choice. However, the law will not let you walk away from responsibility for a child once you have established yourself as the child's father.
The cases that baffle me are the ones where men never knew about the child until they got their wages garnisheed and they still can't stop the payments when it's shown the child is not theirs. THIS is fraud plain and simple.
It is if the woman is extracting money from the man while knowing that he is not the father. That is fraud and the woman should go to jail.
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