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You asked what is the reason in response to Ivory's statement "There is a reason the courts will still hold a man responsible even if the child, later, is shown not to be his." I answered with:
You are ignoring the possibility that you (the hypothetical "you" who is pregnant and unmarried right now) might actually be a lying cheating ho (your words, not mine, by the way). It definitely would suck not knowing who the father is, and more so if the guy you thought was probably the dad got a DNA test and nope--it's someone else. That can't be a happy feeling.
The reality is that some men are uncertain about whether they fathered children with women they do not know very well. Can we please stop with the wounded wife scenario and focus on who the article is really talking about? You can jeer and say, "Well, you all get what you deserve because you are all lying cheating hos," but I think you've made your point about it by now.
Thank you. I am officially on "lying cheating ho" overload. Enough already.
It doesn't. But I think the purpose is to allow the child to continue a relationship with the parent they've bonded with. It would have to be quite traumatic for a kid to suddenly find out the man they've called "dad" their whole life isn't their dad after all. It would be even worse for the dad that they've known and loved to disappear from their lives because of that. It's really not fair to the child or the man, but the blame for that lies squarely with the woman who created the lie in the first place. Which is why DNA testing is a easy way to find out the answer before putting an innocent child through that kind of pain.
It insures the child is taken care of. The law doesn't care about DNA. Once you've established yourself as a child's parent, you don't get to quit. That is not fair to the child.
You are ignoring the possibility that you (the hypothetical "you" who is pregnant and unmarried right now) might actually be a lying cheating ho (your words, not mine, by the way). It definitely would suck not knowing who the father is, and more so if the guy you thought was probably the dad got a DNA test and nope--it's someone else. That can't be a happy feeling.
The reality is that some men are uncertain about whether they fathered children with women they do not know very well. Can we please stop with the wounded wife scenario and focus on who the article is really talking about? You can jeer and say, "Well, you all get what you deserve because you are all lying cheating hos," but I think you've made your point about it by now.
But I'm not. If he thinks I am, then he needs to have the test and then he needs to get a lawyer because I'm not staying with a man who thinks that little of me. Seriously, if this is how he thinks of her, he needs to get out. There is really no sense in staying in a relationship with a woman you think is a lying, cheating ho...even if you are proven wrong because now she knows what you think of her. Men should not lie about such things. It's not fair to the woman. If this is what you think of her, tell her this is what you think of her, get the DNA test and go your separate ways. If she's not a lying cheating ho, she deserves someone who doesn't think she is one.
Yes, those are my words because that's what the man is calling the woman when he decides that he doesn't believe her regarding paternity. Obviously, if he doesn't believe her, he must believe she's sleeping around and lying to him about paternity. He thinks she's a lying, cheating ho. Not pretty but accurate. There's no way to pretty up that he thinks she's a liar and he thinks she's sleeping around.
But I'm not. If he thinks I am, then he needs to have the test and then he needs to get a lawyer because I'm not staying with a man who thinks that little of me. Seriously, if this is how he thinks of her, he needs to get out. There is really no sense in staying in a relationship with a woman you think is a lying, cheating ho...even if you are proven wrong because now she knows what you think of her. Men should not lie about such things. It's not fair to the woman. If this is what you think of her, tell her this is what you think of her, get the DNA test and go your separate ways. If she's not a lying cheating ho, she deserves someone who doesn't think she is one.
Again, there is no "staying with" or needing lawyers, other than to hash out child support if needed. I am not talking about people getting divorced. I am talking about men who aren't sure whether they have fathered children with women they don't know well. If a woman contacts a man and says, "Hey, remember that night? Well, guess what happened," and he would like some DNA evidence before getting involved, then he is within his rights to do so. Of course, not every encounter is some tawdry affair amid a dozen nameless lovers, and I'm sure some women would react badly. But then again, not everyone's honor is really up for debate. Sometimes the answer to "Am I the father" is "Um, I think so."
Again, there is no "staying with" or needing lawyers, other than to hash out child support if needed. I am not talking about people getting divorced. I am talking about men who aren't sure whether they have fathered children with women they don't know well. If a woman contacts a man and says, "Hey, remember that night? Well, guess what happened," and he would like some DNA evidence before getting involved, then he is within his rights to do so. Of course, not every encounter is some tawdry affair amid a dozen nameless lovers, and I'm sure some women would react badly. But then again, not everyone's honor is really up for debate. Sometimes the answer to "Am I the father" is "Um, I think so."
If she doesn't know, then, obviously, you have the test. This is really only an issue if he intends to have a relationship with the mother. Women don't take kindly to being called lying, cheating ho's when they tell a man they are carrying his child (there is no pretty way to say I think you're lying about who fathered your child). The mother not knowing who the father is is exactly why we need tests. Sometimes she does get around.
However, if a test is to be done, it should be done at birth or a soon as the man is informed. Once the man is established as the child's father, it would not be fair to the child to take that away. This works in reverse too. I would not expect a mother to give a child back if the hospital informed her that her baby had been switched or a fertility clinic discovered they used the wrong egg after the child has bonded to the mother.
How does punishing the child for the mother's lies benefit the child?
Nobody is punishing the child for the mother's lies. It's just assuring that the mother is responsible for the situation, not the alleged father. If the mother lies, she either has to find the real father or take all responsibility for the child. That is the only fair resolution.
It insures the child is taken care of. The law doesn't care about DNA.
You're wrong there. The law does care about DNA, especially when it can find via DNA testing that a man is the father. In cases where a father had no idea that he had a child, the law still holds him responsible, retroactively, for the financial support of a child he never knew existed.
What the law does not care about is the rights of men who are lied to by women, either those who do not tell a man until much later that he has fathered a child OR those who tell a man that he is the father of a child who is actually not his.
Quote:
. Once you've established yourself as a child's parent, you don't get to quit. That is not fair to the child.
That's the point - the man who is hoodwinked and bamboozled via paternity fraud has never been established as the child's parent. And that is not fair to him.
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