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And that is fine for you. Great in fact. Parents who are religious do feel an obligation to provide a religious framework for their children. When those children are grown they of course may choose todraw upon that...or not. But the foundation is there if they want or need it.
I have found this thread to be very instructive. Not so much with regard to parenting but more with regard to attitudes to religion. In that respect, it sounds like the US is where Europe and the UK was 60 years ago. Families go to church because that is what they do rather than for any deep spiritual meaning. That is not to say that parents do not believe in god. But church going is very much a family ritual rather than a meaningful religious experience. When rituals cease to have any real meaning, they tend to fall into disuse. If this thread is anything to go by, the USA will be following Europe down the road of increased atheism and a significant fall off in church going.
"We go to church because that is what we do as a family. God has nothing to do with it."
No, "Faith is something we carry inside us at all times, no mattter where we are. We do not need to be inside a building to have a relationship with God."
Thank you for the opportunity to clarify what I said.
I have found this thread to be very instructive. Not so much with regard to parenting but more with regard to attitudes to religion. In that respect, it sounds like the US is where Europe and the UK was 60 years ago. Families go to church because that is what they do rather than for any deep spiritual meaning. That is not to say that parents do not believe in god. But church going is very much a family ritual rather than a meaningful religious experience. When rituals cease to have any real meaning, they tend to fall into disuse. If this thread is anything to go by, the USA will be following Europe down the road of increased atheism and a significant fall off in church going.
No I mean what's the difference between you would not make an active non believing child and I don't believe any of this?
I'm sorry, I am not following. I noticed I missed some other responses and went back to edit.
We do not go to church. We did for a while and would like to again, but we have had a change in faith. We went to church when the kids were little, before it was an option for them to announce they believed something else. Then we stopped going. I can't say that now I would make them go, because I wouldn't ... I don't go myself.
But I could replace "church" with something that makes sense in my life. We do some volunteering, and this weekend my husband and daughter are going to work at a food pantry, sorting and organizing donations. He does something once a month with his office, and he brings one of the children with him. Our oldest is 16, old enough to refuse to go. Maybe she doesn't want to get up early, maybe she is secretly angry at and resentful of poor people, maybe she would rather pull weeds for the old couple who lives on the corner because she prefers to help people she knows. I would listen to her reasons. But I would also not fault a parent who said, "Too bad, you're still coming with me."
Did that help? Maybe not.
By "actively nonbelieving," I was thinking of a young adult who definitely believed something else and had explicit other plans in mind, like going to another church. I would not prevent my child from exploring other religions, and if sitting in church was somehow morally wrong to him or her, then we would discuss it.
I'm sorry, I am not following. I noticed I missed some other responses and went back to edit.
We do not go to church. We did for a while and would like to again, but we have had a change in faith. We went to church when the kids were little, before it was an option for them to announce they believed something else. Then we stopped going. I can't say that now I would make them go, because I wouldn't ... I don't go myself.
But I could replace "church" with something that makes sense in my life. We do some volunteering, and this weekend my husband and daughter are going to work at a food pantry, sorting and organizing donations. He does something once a month with his office, and he brings one of the children with him. Our oldest is 16, old enough to refuse to go. Maybe she doesn't want to get up early, maybe she is secretly angry at and resentful of poor people, maybe she would rather pull weeds for the old couple who lives on the corner because she prefers to help people she knows. I would listen to her reasons. But I would also not fault a parent who said, "Too bad, you're still coming with me."
Did that help?
Yes. Thanks. As an atheist, it is really easy for me to see the value in requiring volunteerism and less so church. My own thing, I guess. But since there is a belief in what looks like magic to me, it does seem different. But I suppose if one were to believe that heaven and god were literal truths, it would seem like education to them.
Yes. Thanks. As an atheist, it is really easy for me to see the value in requiring volunteerism and less so church. My own thing, I guess. But since there is a belief in what looks like magic to me, it does seem different. But I suppose if one were to believe that heaven and god were literal truths, it would seem like education to them.
At the very least, it allows an atheist child to learn about a belief system and be able to have informed conversations about it later. Presumably there are a lot of people in the child's family and community with those beliefs, and he can talk and debate from a position of knowledge.
At the very least, it allows an atheist child to learn about a belief system and be able to have informed conversations about it later.
Maybe other churches are different. But the Catholic church that I went to as a child had very little doctinal instruction. You really don't learn much from attending weekly services every now and again.
Quote:
Presumably there are a lot of people in the child's family and community with those beliefs, and he can talk and debate from a position of knowledge.
I don't feel that my personal choice is an "Everybody Should Do" thing in this instance. I don't feel that enduring church is harmful, just tedious. Thou Shalt Not Suffer Tedium is not on my list.
I don't think its harmful either. I just wonder what the point is of requiring attendance. What does the parent get out of requiring attendance and what is the benefit to the child? I usually pick my battles and I am having trouble understanding the point of requiring attendance at religious services for an older child. I understand that a parent CAN require it. What I am having trouble with is the WHY a parent would.
Maybe being Jewish makes it difficult. At age 12/13 a Jewish child is considered an adult for religious purposes and a parent's obligation to his religious education is considered fulfilled.
NEVER. I was forced and resented it and have not been to church aside from funerals or weddings since I was 18. Don't get me wrong, my mom and I were as close as two people could be, but both she and my dad made me go until I turned 18 and I resented it, I hated it. I also had to go to Catholic school which was torture. In fact it made me not believe in any god or any of the bible or its crazy stories or teachings, or any organized religion for that matter. I had always said that my children can decide when they are old enough if and when they wish to follow an organized religion. That is their choice, not mine, and I will never force my children to do something that I didn't like as a child. I also don't force them to eat things they don't like, wear clothes they don't like or wear their hair a certain way. I let them be themselves and be individuals and be unique. They are taught to be safe and respectful and are never in harm's way and are very polite to everyone. My oldest, who is 11, loves science, electronics and how they work, and movies, my 8 year old loves art, music, skateboarding and karate. Both of my older boys do amazing in school, their grades are high and the oldest has been on the honor roll for the past two years even with having ADHD and a lower scale form of autism. My baby is 2 and just developing his personality and he is my little comedian and dances to any kind of music her hears. Faith is not important to us and I don't feel it is needed to raise good children or adults. Lots of patience, guidance about right and wrong, love and mutual respect is what we have in our house. Raising good people is important and that is what we are doing.
Last edited by Flamingomo; 08-22-2012 at 08:33 AM..
I don't think its harmful either. I just wonder what the point is of requiring attendance. What does the parent get out of requiring attendance and what is the benefit to the child? I usually pick my battles and I am having trouble understanding the point of requiring attendance at religious services for an older child. I understand that a parent CAN require it. What I am having trouble with is the WHY a parent would.
Yah. That is where I am at.
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