Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think there are also situations where parents hit children because that is how they were brought up and they don't know any better.
My case is different. I'm a spankee (and it stopped when I was 7/8) but as an adult I'm against it. For some reason it seems hispanics and blacks are the ones spanking more than whites.
I have also seen statements of some spankee, saying ''Parents need to ******* whip their behinds''. Ok so if they're supposely good and productive citizens as they claimed to be, then why the need to vent out like that online and use slang language? Wouldn't this contradict themselves since they're being rude and obnoxious by experessing themselves like that?
My case is different. I'm a spankee (and it stopped when I was 7/8) but as an adult I'm against it. For some reason it seems hispanics and blacks are the ones spanking more than whites.
I have also seen statements of some spankee, saying ''Parents need to ******* whip their behinds''. Ok so if they're supposely good and productive citizens as they claimed to be, then why the need to vent out like that online and use slang language? Wouldn't this contradict themselves since they're being rude and obnoxious by experessing themselves like that?
I can't speak for Hispanics, but I do know that the history of blacks in America explains a lot about the beliefs that are common. There is a real fear of "If I don't the police will," or "I would rather spank than for my child to end up in the court system." This fear has been passed down from generation to generation for so long, it is hard to break that pattern of thinking. And while I do believe that it is a justified fear, I don't believe that beating our kids will keep them out of jail or keep them from being a victim of injustice. If anything, it's teaching them HOW to be a victim.
Whether a parent wants to spank or not, it's their choice and I respect that but I don't agree with statements such as:
''Kids are criminals and are rude because they don't get spanked anymore''.
''My parents spanked me with a belt, that's why I never got in trouble with the law''.
''I don't know where I would have been if I was never spanked''.
''If you don't spank them you'll create little monsters''.
All those statements don't make sense. The second is suggesting that the person is saying he/she was a trouble maker by nature and only getting hit stopped him/her from becoming that so basically they're dysfuctional individuals.
You have a bit of a point here., and I wouldn't agree with positing a simple causal relationship between non-spanking and delinquency, etc. It's a little more complicated than that, but I would still argue that there's a relationship, and it's hard to describe, although the visceral negative reaction in this thread to the mere use of the word "authority" provides a glimpse of it.
Parents who want to camouflage the fact that they are in authority will suffer for it, and if they don't, their children will. I realize that not every non-spanking parent does this, but many do.
You have a bit of a point here., and I wouldn't agree with positing a simple causal relationship between non-spanking and delinquency, etc. It's a little more complicated than that, but I would still argue that there's a relationship, and it's hard to describe, although the visceral negative reaction in this thread to the mere use of the word "authority" provides a glimpse of it.
Parents who want to camouflage the fact that they are in authority will suffer for it, and if they don't, their children will. I realize that not every non-spanking parent does this, but many do.
Ehh. I am in a position of authority over my kids and they know it, but I don't spank them to "assert my authority". I think even the most liberal of parents hold the belief that they are in a higher position than their children and get the final say, but doling out punishments for the purpose of showing who's boss is just silly.
Ehh. I am in a position of authority over my kids and they know it, but I don't spank them to "assert my authority". I think even the most liberal of parents hold the belief that they are in a higher position than their children and get the final say, but doling out punishments for the purpose of showing who's boss is just silly.
Doling out punishments for the SOLE purpose of showing who's boss is just silly.
Even if it's not the SOLE purpose, it's still silly.
You agreed that parents should be in authority. When children challenge that authority, it ought to be asserted and the sooner, the better. Otherwise it doesn't deserve to be called authority and won't last.
Don't bother to respond with "You don't have to spank to assert authority, blah blah..." I already know that.
I don't believe in putting any emphasis on "asserting authority" whatsoever. My son will learn I'm in charge as we go along. All I have to do is not cave to his demands. He'll get the picture.
It is punishment + numerous other environmental factors that will make the difference in his behavior.
But then some punishments come with a risk of identifiable harm. Adverse consequences I'd rather avoid if I can discipline without said punishments. And I can. I think we all can, if we're willing to put a little more thought into our parenting techniques.
You agreed that parents should be in authority. When children challenge that authority, it ought to be asserted and the sooner, the better. Otherwise it doesn't deserve to be called authority and won't last.
Don't bother to respond with "You don't have to spank to assert authority, blah blah..." I already know that.
I guess it's just a fundamental difference of parenting. I try not to be too heavy on the punishment stuff, instead using teachable moments and natural consequences to achieve "results". My authority is not used in a "I AM YOUR PARENT SO YOU MUST DO WHAT I SAY AND SUBMIT TO ME MUHAHAHAHA", I use it in a way that (hopefully) makes my kids feel secure enough to know I do the things I do to provide order, love and boundaries into their lives.
Though I prefer not to use the word authority. Kinda makes me shudder.
I can't speak for Hispanics, but I do know that the history of blacks in America explains a lot about the beliefs that are common. There is a real fear of "If I don't the police will," or "I would rather spank than for my child to end up in the court system." This fear has been passed down from generation to generation for so long, it is hard to break that pattern of thinking. And while I do believe that it is a justified fear, I don't believe that beating our kids will keep them out of jail or keep them from being a victim of injustice. If anything, it's teaching them HOW to be a victim.
As long as the police forces of some of our cities continue to target the black community, they are the only ones that get a node from me for the continued practice despite the fact that it still does not work for them either. But you bring up an important point. The practice of punishment and corporal punishment has been a fixture in many families and cultural sub groups for so long, its eradication does not seem likely, certainly not easy.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
