Do you make your kids sacrifice activities ....?

[carolinacool]

Originally Posted by btfly

Honestly, the only people I've heard say something about anything negative about kidless vacations are the ones that have never taken one.

True! LOL

And as for the vacation - are they flying first class and staying at the Ritz? Or perhaps they're flying Jet Blue and she got a good hotel deal on Hotwire. Not all vacations are full of luxury and expense at every turn.

[Ceece]

Parents should be a little selfish. Or even a lot selfish. Kids don't need $ activities but parents do need adult time. Being too childcentric is an ugly thing.

[pearly6]

Originally Posted by NYMD67

No, it was just because that is what she mentioned...

I know this family very well, we have been friends for many,many years. He works in a factory, shift work,she's a teacher's aide, so I know that money doesn't come easy. They have 2 children, who do 1 activity each, because of finances. However, they also take many vacations w/out their children and have many individual activities they do, he is on several bowling leagues (3 that I know of) and she goes to scrapbooking crops several x a year, in addition to purchasing a lot of supplies for this hobby.
So, when I heard her say that the Summer months are the hardest financially so they "make" their daughter give up her riding lessons, and then in the same sentence say they were going on this 5 day vacay, it was a little surprising.
I just think maybe as parents, instead of having your child who only does 1 activity during the year to begin with, give it up, possibly, they could give up a bowling league or a scrapbooking crop weekend....
So, I do believe that yes, in this case, they asked her to sacrifice her activity to help supplement their trip.

I did not say anywhere that it is wrong for parents to take trips w/out their children, not once. If we had that luxury to do so, of course we would, once in awhile. I am saying, we would forgo our vacation if it meant our children could not do something they enjoyed. We do spend quite a bit on their activities, but knowing we don't have the luxury of having family nearby for babysitting, makes our decision to not vacation w/out them, easier.

No, I am not their accountant as someone sarcastically inquired, so I do not know their true financial situation.

Wow, you keep really good track of those people, don't you.

Why is it a sticking point for you that they have a little personal enjoyment (bowling and scrapbooking)? They don't OWE their daughter any outside activity. She is NOT an equal member of the family; they are her parents and make the decisions.

My daughter took horseback riding lessons 25 years ago and it cost me plenty. It didn't last. You know why? BECAUSE I COULDN'T AFFORD IT. She was (Oh, no!!) disappointed. Kids get disappointed.

Give yourself a break and stop worrying about what all your friends do and don't do. From the sounds of your above post, they are a healthy family and they seem to be setting their priorities in a healthy manner.

[NYMD67]

Ugh. i have said my last with this... All I did was pose a ?, just like thousands of others do everyday on this forum.
Some of your replies have been uncalled for, snarky , sarcastic and sometimes, just rude.
I don't feel it is necessary for me to go into every little detail that I know about my friend and her family.
The fact that I know she does scrapbooking and he bowls does not mean I am keeping track of them, I have known her for almost 30 years and him for 18. I am sure many of you have friends that you know things about and I am almost 100% sure that some of you, have not agreed with or questioned your friends's decisions,etc...
I posed a question, I have never said taking a vacation w/out your children is wrong, I have never said that my kids do EVERYTHING they want, because they absolutely do not.
What I said was that it seemed a bit selfish to me, TO ME.
Possibly I am just an old mom who went through an awful lot to become a mom. I am almost 10 years older than most of my children's friends' parents, some even older than that. I guess I just feel that my husband & I had our "free time" before we became parents and hopefully we will have more when they are older, but right now, if my child really loved something she was doing, I could not ask them to give it up, unless it was just absolutely necessary.
I know enough about my friends' family to know that they do enough alone, as a couple, that they don't need anymore "me" time. But I should not have to explain every detail of their lives to justify my reasons or feelings.
Some of you have been so nasty with your comments, it just isn't necessary.
I will be careful the next time I pose a question on here and remember that we must be perfect parents to do so, apparently.

[LisaMc46]

Balance is key. Last year I didn't renew my health club membership so that i could afford to send one of my daughters to ballet school (the ballet school and gym cost about the same).

She loved the class and I have no regrets.

This year she wanted to continue ballet add a tap dancing class. I was going to say yes (we're somewhat better off financially than last year), but then I started thinking about how since leaving the gym I've gained 5 pounds, gotten a bit flabby and just don't feel as good as I used to. So I told her she could choose one class b/c mommy needed to spend some money to stay healthy.

She was disappointed but understood. I think it's fine to do something for yourself once in a while, especially if, like most parents, you usually put your children first.

[pearly6]

NYMD67, You posted your question in a very judgemental way, like, isn't it awful that those people disappointed their child then enjoyed themselves, how dare they. What did you expect from us? To all agree with you?

Nobody is asking for more information about them. It's good they take time for themselves. Apparently the daughter will be going back to her lessons in the fall and she'll be happy. She was likely happy all summer without them as well.