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Have a local policeman scare him............or whip his butt like you should have done earlier in his life. He clearly does not respect you!
Asking him to stop will not help!
I was gonna tell her to beat his butt with a baseball bat as he lay asleep. But your idea is a little better. I don't know what happen to children being afraid of their parents. There is quite a role reversal here. She has to check herself.
Homeschooling for teenagers is jut bad - no structure. Is he homeschooled or independant study?
Take away his life. Take away anything you bought. Go all the way to his bed and have him sleep on the floor if nescessary. Take his phone away or give him a Disney "kid" phone - if he's going to act like a child - tell him he gets a kid phone.
Take away the car (if you bought it) take away the insurance to drive it, take it all away.
Make up RULES - post them - discuss them together. Things are given to people who respect the household. Things are taken away to those who do not respect the house.
I like your ideas, break him down back to baby steps. The Disney phone is funny....
I was gonna tell her to beat his butt with a baseball bat as he lay asleep. But your idea is a little better. I don't know what happen to children being afraid of their parents. There is quite a role reversal here. She has to check herself.
I hope that your post is a weak attempt at humor. Kids shouldn't be afraid of their parents, they should respect them. One can't fear and respect a person at the same time.
He went to public school through the 8th grade. He is super smart and was in gifted classes but got low grades. I thought homeschooling would allow us to focus on subjects that interested him in addition to moving quickly through the "boring" required subjects. It worked well for awhile. I don't think he could go back to public school now. Our goal is to get GED and start college courses, one or two at a time while he lives at home.
We tried sports. He was in karate for 2 years, kayaking for a year.
I have not allowed him to get a driver's license or car. He's too irresponsible. I also stopped his allowance when he stopped doing chores. He paid for his own computer with money he earned cutting lawns. I won't take that away because he EARNED it and I think that's a good life lesson. I'm afraid to take the phone (because I want to be able to locate him) and he is pretty good about not abusing the number of minutes we have. I do like the idea of giving him a "kid" phone though.
Smoking IS bad because I have allergies. Also, he nearly set his bedroom on fire when he left a burning cigarette in his trash can. The room filled with smoke before we found it. I have asked him not to smoke in the house but I have found ashes at times.
His father has been MIA since before he was a year old. My dad and brother are good role models. He has been raised to have good manners. He's just not using them! I can't imagine why he doesn't respect me. I work hard, obey the law, am very polite, and don't tell lies. I have provided a good life for him. Teenagers are so frustrating!
You said he owns his computer, he bought it with his own money. How does he get online? Does he pay for that too?
I do understand about the phone, but when he is home, take it away. Take the phone and unplug his internet. Tell him he will not get them back until he starts his schooling.
I also don't think homeschooling is the answer, especially since he isn't doing it. Go to the high school to see about enrolling him. Spea to the counselor there, they can give you information on where to go for help. Even if you do not enroll him in school, go anyway. The child study team has a lot fo free counseling information, places you may be able to go for support. It's possible there are meetings at the library.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkletoes
I wish I could afford boot camp or military school
I talked to him on the phone last night and he is safe for now. At least I can be grateful for that.
Haven't figured out what I'm going to do to him when he gets home. I can't "deck" him! I've already stopped his allowance, I only give him money if he does extra work outdoors for me, and the cellphone is a safety device as far as I'm concerned. If he wants a ride somewhere, my standard answer is "What are you going to do for me?" and he has to do it before we leave. I can't think of what else to take away from him. I don't want to make life at home to horrible in case he does run away. I want him to remember that Home is a nice place to be.
If he is not going to go to school he needs to get a job.. period. You need to start putting your foot down, give him a big sad story, that he needs to help financially.
I know how tiring it is to be a single parent, to not have the father around to back you up or for him to go see, but you have to get stronger or the worst is yet to come.
Until he is 18 he is a minor, you are responsible for him.
Well, son didn't come home last night, and wouldn't pick up when I called his cellphone. I finally gave up calling at about 1:00 am because I had to get up at 5:30 to go to work this morning. I am so tired, not just physically, but emotionally as well.
Any suggestions on an appropriate consequence? Obviously everything else I've tried isn't working.
He came yesterday to get his things. It's such a hard thing to watch your child make mistakes you KNOW they can't fix later, but I guess now I just have to be strong and realize I can't control this situation. Hopefully I won't have to watch this happen to his 13 yr old sister after she has watched all this unfold. *Sigh*
He came yesterday to get his things. It's such a hard thing to watch your child make mistakes you KNOW they can't fix later, but I guess now I just have to be strong and realize I can't control this situation. Hopefully I won't have to watch this happen to his 13 yr old sister after she has watched all this unfold. *Sigh*
I know it doesn't seem like it now but in the end this maybe the best thing for your son. Some kids only learn by making their own way.
I knew a guy that left home at 15. He quit school, lived in a converted garage with some older guys and partied. But you know what? He learned to hold a job cause those guys weren't going to let him live off them.
He got tired of living in a garage and worked hard enough to get an apartment with a roommate. He decided he wanted to be more than a short order cook so he went and got his GED.
Being responsible for himself might make your son grow up. It is just hard on us parents waiting for it to happen and watching them falter on the way. I hope it all works out for you both.
Just4today, I am so sorry to hear about your son leaving. It is a hard thing for a parent to watch them go. I predict he will be back when he finds out that being out in the world isn't any easier than being at home with you.
Got a call from the police yesterday afternoon. Son was picked up for shoplifting a sandwich. I guess he was hungry.
They charged him only because he lied about his name, address, etc. and gave them a lot of "attitude". They actually put him in a cell for awhile, and gave him a really hard time in front of me. They yelled at him and said "Your mother is the law! Do what she says and quit acting like a punk!" It was great. They also told me that he could be reported as a runaway the instant he set foot outside the house without my permission, and that I should call them if that happened.
Before he came in, I asked the officer if they could track him with a cellphone. They told me they didn't do that unless there was forcible kidnapping, so I might as well take his phone. So I'm turning it off.
When we got home, he said he was going out to see some friends. I told him no, he wasn't going out. After I made him something to eat, I told him to go downstairs and chill out. He went downstairs, turned on his music, and went out the back door. I called the cops and reported him as a runaway.
Are you sure our sons aren't twins? My son has done almost everything you say about yours to a T. The police told me the same thing but in the end when I called them, they really didn't care. They said due to his age they really couldn't do anything!! I was so upset. Yet they were glad to tell me that I was still legally liable should he commit a crime! I had to padlock our cellar windows with key locks as he was sneaking out. He was also arrested for shoplifting 3 yrs ago. Since being at my moms, he hasn't went to school 1 single day. After 10 days, they automatically kick you out. He knows this. It is hard enough to control a teenager,let alone when the law or your own mother won't cooperate and do what's best for him. I know alot of this is out of my control it seems, but I also know I will be the first one the law or my son calls when it all spirals. How do I be strong enough to not help when that happens? I am wishing you better luck Twinkletoes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkletoes
Got a call from the police yesterday afternoon. Son was picked up for shoplifting a sandwich. I guess he was hungry.
They charged him only because he lied about his name, address, etc. and gave them a lot of "attitude". They actually put him in a cell for awhile, and gave him a really hard time in front of me. They yelled at him and said "Your mother is the law! Do what she says and quit acting like a punk!" It was great. They also told me that he could be reported as a runaway the instant he set foot outside the house without my permission, and that I should call them if that happened.
Before he came in, I asked the officer if they could track him with a cellphone. They told me they didn't do that unless there was forcible kidnapping, so I might as well take his phone. So I'm turning it off.
When we got home, he said he was going out to see some friends. I told him no, he wasn't going out. After I made him something to eat, I told him to go downstairs and chill out. He went downstairs, turned on his music, and went out the back door. I called the cops and reported him as a runaway.
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Break him down to infant status
